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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

This Is Why You Should Be Proud of Making Mistakes

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This Is Why You Should Be Proud of Making Mistakes

We all know too many people who are afraid of making mistakes because doing so makes them feel horrible about themselves. But the truth is, mistakes can be like gifts. Any successful person can tell you that without the mistakes they made on their journey, they wouldn’t be where they are today. Here are 10 reasons why you should be proud of making mistakes.

1. Mistakes help us gain knowledge.

We can gain so much knowledge from our mistakes, and all it takes is the willingness to learn from them. We get to know what works and what doesn’t from each error we come across. Without mistakes, we lose countless opportunities to gain valuable knowledge and learn lessons.

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2. Mistakes trigger our creativity.

When what we are attempting is not working, we look for a new solution, which enables us to think outside the box. Without mistakes, we lose chances of experiencing the creative side of ourselves.

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” —William Connor Magee

3. Mistakes help us learn to be resilient.

We get to understand that adversity is needed to overcome challenges in life. We know then that being flexible is important, as we can’t move forward if we stay in the same place. Without making mistakes, we would stay in our comfort zone, which leads us to inflexibility when things don’t work the way we want them to.

“The more we can embrace failure, the more we will be able to open to it and the more confident and resilient we will become.” —Karen Kimsey-House

4. Mistakes teach us about humanity.

Mistakes teach us the importance of staying humble. We learn that we are only human and that mistakes are inevitable. We also learn that humility is what make us beautiful.

5. Mistakes provide us references.

We obtain references each time we try different approaches as we attempt to achieve our goals. We become better each time we try something new. We wouldn’t gain those references if we didn’t make mistakes.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” —Thomas Edison

6. Mistakes help us obtain new ideas.

Making mistakes is one of the most effective ways to gain new ideas. Our mistakes force us to push limits and find new things that inspire us.

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“The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to have no new ideas” —Albert Einstein

7. Mistakes give us courage.

We become a stronger person each time we acknowledge our mistakes and move on to do better next time. We come to understand that being brave is all about admitting to our faults and growing from them.

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” —Bruce Lee

8. Mistakes make us wiser.

We learn to appreciate those who have helped us, and learn to deal with the people who have done us wrong. We learn to be wiser each time we make a mistake, because we get to see a different side of the people we thought we knew. Without making mistakes, we would not get to see the different sides of those we deal with.

“Some people come into your life as blessings. Some come into your life as lessons.” —Mother Teresa

9. Mistakes teach us how to experiment.

We are experimenting each time we try a new approach to creating something. We often create amazing things when we innovate, be it a product or something personal. But innovation comes from experimenting, which often leads to making mistakes. Without those mistakes, we wouldn’t be able to innovate, and create better things. We would also not be able to become a better person without knowing what we did wrong.

“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes, It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.” —Steve Jobs

10. Mistakes help us to better understand ourselves.

Mistakes helps us understand that our biggest enemy can be ourselves. We learn to reflect on our own mistakes. By overcoming our shortcomings, we become stronger people as we come to know our own strengths and weaknesses. It wouldn’t be as easy for us to understand ourselves without the mistakes we have made.

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“In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.” —Warren Buffett

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Published on October 14, 2021

How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

Do you ever worry about being exposed as a “fraud?” You’re not alone. It’s actually quite common for people to feel like imposters. In fact, approximately 70 percent of people admit to having experienced impostor syndrome[1] at some point in their lives — a Twitter poll found that 87 percent of people have experienced this.[2] Even successful and famous people like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz, and Natalie Portman suffer from imposter syndrome.

But, what exactly is imposter syndrome. And, more importantly, how can you silence it?

Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP, and Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., the term “impostor syndrome” describes symptoms that include being unable to internalize accomplishments and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

The individual may also be plagued by chronic self-doubt and believe that they’re unqualified for success despite evidence to the contrary. Inadequacies, fears of failure, and disbelief that success is a matter of luck or timing are also common.

If you don’t address this phenomenon, feeling like an impostor can prevent you from achieving ambitious goals. Moreover, those experiencing these feelings tend to over-prepare or procrastinate — which obviously hinders productivity and reaching goals. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, imposter syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

Do you feel like you’re suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t beat yourself up. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and proactive way.

1. Don’t Hide It.

“Firstly, acknowledge it,” advises Claudine Robson,[3] the Intentional Coach. “You give strength to imposter syndrome by letting it continue to peck away at your confidence unchecked.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence.

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“Then you need to separate your feelings from facts,” Robson adds. “One thing imposter syndrome does very effectively is to mix up your perceptions of reality.”

If you can, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when you should — and when you should not — feel fraudulent,” she says. Appreciate and acknowledge the task, intellect, and insight that have led to your success.

You might even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you’re new to a task. “That gives you a path forward; learning is growth, don’t deny yourself that.”

2. Implement the STOP Technique

In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., outlines a technique to overcome imposter syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

“STOP is an acronym for ‘silence the oppressive player,” Fouts explains in Forbes.[4] “You need to eradicate this tape that is playing 24/7, whether you are conscious of it or not. It plays loudest when we are tired, hungry, or feeling defeated.”

Steps to implementing the STOP technique and rewiring your brain are as follows:

To replace the tape of not good enough, you need a “launch sentence.” “I’m more than good enough” would is an example of a solid launch statement.

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Put your launch sentence in prominent locations, such as your car’s dashboard or computer. How come? The reason is that as the tape plays, you won’t be able to remember your launch statement.

Continue to say “stop” until you recall your launch sentence, says Fouts.

Put your launch sentence into your own words and pontificate.

While going about your daily tasks, like while driving or exercising, practice your launch sentence so you can recall it when you need it in the future.

“I am told this sounds simple and it does,” she adds. However, this technique is challenging when your negative tape is playing. You will not want to replace the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It is these moments you can’t give up.”

3. Distinguish Humility and Fear

When it comes to hard work and accomplishments, there’s humility, and then there’s fear. In other words, having a high level of competence can lead one to discount its value occasionally. However, as Carl Richards wrote in an article for the New York Times,[5] “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?”

The problem is that we feel unworthy from time to time. But, as Seth Godin explained in a blog post,[6] “When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw.”

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Feeling worthy without feeling entitled is possible. And, finding the right balance between them is critical for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open, or humble.”

4. Keep a “Brag Sheet”

When you were sending out college applications, did you build yourself a “brag sheet?” If not, here’s a clean description from Shawna Newman,[7] “A brag sheet is very similar to a student resume – it highlights your accomplishments, key experiences, leadership skills, and employment throughout your secondary education.” In short, “it’s a quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for someone trying to get to know you better.”

While it may be awkward at first, you can apply the same concept when coping with imposter syndrome. Just compose a list of your accomplishments, activities, skills. That’s it. Just remember Godin’s advice and also be humble and gracious.

As an added perk, besides being an effective way to talk myself up, I’ve also found that this has helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of harping about other people’s milestones, I’m honing in on what I’ve done.

5. Celebrate Wins, Period

Speaking of accomplishments, they shouldn’t be categorized as small or big. After all, you feel as if you don’t belong when you have imposter syndrome. So, the more you celebrate your wins, the more confident you’ll become.

Furthermore, accept compliments without qualifying them and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, become kinder to yourself by saying at least one kind thing to yourself daily. And, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

6. Assemble a Legion of Superheroes

“You know how corporations have a board of directors to — in theory — make them stronger, maintain checks and balances, leverage resources, and help advance the organization’s vision?” asks inspirational speaker, speaking coach, and creative consultant Tania Katan.[8] “Why not assemble your own board of directors to leverage resources to help make your career stronger, keep you in check and balanced, and advance your vision?”

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“My friend Alison Wade, president of conferences, training, and consulting at Techwell, calls her personal board of directors her “front-row” — those are the people she invites to sit spitting distance from the stage, cheer her on, challenge her, and review her performance,” Katan writes.

As for Katan, she calls hers a “legion of superheroes.” The reason? “I dig the idea of joining forces to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

It’s important to have a diverse group of individuals who will defend you. Ideally, they should be varied in all dimensions, such as cultural background, way of thinking, and skills.

Katan recommends that you meet together frequently, whether if that’s once a week or every quarter. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas, aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” You also need to both support and challenge each other. “Discover what you are capable of doing when you combine your powers.”

7. Visualize Success

Follow the example of a professional athlete by imagining yourself crushing that presentation or project. You’ll enjoy the relief from performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it can help you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenario.

Final Words of Advice

While there’s no single formula to cure imposter syndrome, the tips listed above are a start. After all, your success depends on your ability to fight the negative effects of it. For example, feeling unworthy over time can lead to crippling anxiety and depression if left untreated.

If you’ve tried the above, then make sure that you speak to someone about what you’re experiencing, whether it’s a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And, above all else, there’s a place at the table for everyone — no matter what your inner voice is telling you.

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

Reference

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