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12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

Age 30 is a pivotal age. When you reach that milestone of being 30, there should be certain bad habits you have been able to let go of.

1. You should stop caring about what the world thinks of you

Do you really want to get the world’s attention? Are you always putting up a post or a picture on social media and suddenly you have become so active on social media that you do not have a life of your own put together?

You really need to stop caring about what the world thinks of you and do what makes you happy without seeking any undue attention. It will help you concentrate on your life rather than how others react to it.

2. You keep holding on to a grudge

Forgiveness is very important as you reach 30. Holding a grudge can negatively impact your social life, and your relationships with those you work with.

It is important for you to let go of those who have hurt you and forgive yourself. If you can achieve this, you can break down whatever mental block that is working against you.

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3. You don’t want to be responsible

You don’t want to be responsible and keep running around the hole instead of staring at your problems and dealing with them. You are stuck playing the victim, which creates tension in your social life and doesn’t allow you to learn from your mistakes.

You have to take your life and be in charge of it, whether financially, spiritually and emotionally. You should stop making excuses and delegating blames to this or that. If you are not okay with where you are now, you should start fixing it.

4. You don’t save

You spend your money as it comes and live paycheck to paycheck. You think you are the king by buying all the latest luxury goods in the market, when you are really taking away your own safety net.

You really need to start focusing on your future. Saving money is what will secure that future.

5. You still hang around the wrong people

What do your friends say about you? Do they have a positive influence on you or are you trying to have a sense of belonging by following the pack?

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You deserve to be with friends that bring out the best in you and compliment your strengths and personality. If your friends are holding you back, make new connections and learn about new communities to start new.

6. You love getting wasted

You believe you are still the ‘wonderkid’ and you love getting wasted to prove to yourself that you are young and adventurous. You keep doing this and you will hurt your career, your personal life, and your health.

Focus on things that bring out the best in you and make you someone everyone wants to be with. There are many ways to have fun without drugs or alcohol – seek out those adventures instead.

7. You don’t value important relationships

You are distant and far from friends and family. You don’t value them or even spend time with them. You only reach out to friends and family when you need something from them.

You have to set aside some time for friends and family, as they important to your personal development. Nourishing those relationships will help you grow, and help you achieve success in the long run.

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8. You do not maintain a healthy lifestyle

You prefer to drink, smoke and eat out than to discipline yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle like exercising, cooking and eating right. Maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle will only jeopardize your health and harm your body in the long run. This negatively affects your health, your ability to manage stress, and probably your social life.

Try to get on a regimented schedule, so you know when you are working out for the week, and what you’ll be eating. Limit your use of drugs and alcohol.

9. You keep on procrastinating

You wait for the time to be perfect before you take an action. Guess what, there is never a perfect time to do what you have to. The world won’t wait for you.

Learn to take action and pursue your dreams.

10. You stick to your past

The past is the past. You don’t have to continue beating yourself over the mistakes you made. Living in regrets does not take you anywhere.

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Learn to focus on what is ahead and set goals and make plans for the future.

11. You have no goals

You have no clarity about where you are going. You live your life on auto-pilot. You make others determine your direction when you have no absolute clarity about your destination.

You should determine where you want to be and what you want out of life, and create a road map for it.

12. You are always anxious

You worry about everything: what will happen in the next five years, what your friends are thinking about you, finding the partner of your dreams, being a millionaire before you turn 35…

Worrying doesn’t solve problems. It only saps your energy that will have been used in something more productive. Try not to be anxious and take each day at a time.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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