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12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

Age 30 is a pivotal age. When you reach that milestone of being 30, there should be certain bad habits you have been able to let go of.

1. You should stop caring about what the world thinks of you

Do you really want to get the world’s attention? Are you always putting up a post or a picture on social media and suddenly you have become so active on social media that you do not have a life of your own put together?

You really need to stop caring about what the world thinks of you and do what makes you happy without seeking any undue attention. It will help you concentrate on your life rather than how others react to it.

2. You keep holding on to a grudge

Forgiveness is very important as you reach 30. Holding a grudge can negatively impact your social life, and your relationships with those you work with.

It is important for you to let go of those who have hurt you and forgive yourself. If you can achieve this, you can break down whatever mental block that is working against you.

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3. You don’t want to be responsible

You don’t want to be responsible and keep running around the hole instead of staring at your problems and dealing with them. You are stuck playing the victim, which creates tension in your social life and doesn’t allow you to learn from your mistakes.

You have to take your life and be in charge of it, whether financially, spiritually and emotionally. You should stop making excuses and delegating blames to this or that. If you are not okay with where you are now, you should start fixing it.

4. You don’t save

You spend your money as it comes and live paycheck to paycheck. You think you are the king by buying all the latest luxury goods in the market, when you are really taking away your own safety net.

You really need to start focusing on your future. Saving money is what will secure that future.

5. You still hang around the wrong people

What do your friends say about you? Do they have a positive influence on you or are you trying to have a sense of belonging by following the pack?

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You deserve to be with friends that bring out the best in you and compliment your strengths and personality. If your friends are holding you back, make new connections and learn about new communities to start new.

6. You love getting wasted

You believe you are still the ‘wonderkid’ and you love getting wasted to prove to yourself that you are young and adventurous. You keep doing this and you will hurt your career, your personal life, and your health.

Focus on things that bring out the best in you and make you someone everyone wants to be with. There are many ways to have fun without drugs or alcohol – seek out those adventures instead.

7. You don’t value important relationships

You are distant and far from friends and family. You don’t value them or even spend time with them. You only reach out to friends and family when you need something from them.

You have to set aside some time for friends and family, as they important to your personal development. Nourishing those relationships will help you grow, and help you achieve success in the long run.

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8. You do not maintain a healthy lifestyle

You prefer to drink, smoke and eat out than to discipline yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle like exercising, cooking and eating right. Maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle will only jeopardize your health and harm your body in the long run. This negatively affects your health, your ability to manage stress, and probably your social life.

Try to get on a regimented schedule, so you know when you are working out for the week, and what you’ll be eating. Limit your use of drugs and alcohol.

9. You keep on procrastinating

You wait for the time to be perfect before you take an action. Guess what, there is never a perfect time to do what you have to. The world won’t wait for you.

Learn to take action and pursue your dreams.

10. You stick to your past

The past is the past. You don’t have to continue beating yourself over the mistakes you made. Living in regrets does not take you anywhere.

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Learn to focus on what is ahead and set goals and make plans for the future.

11. You have no goals

You have no clarity about where you are going. You live your life on auto-pilot. You make others determine your direction when you have no absolute clarity about your destination.

You should determine where you want to be and what you want out of life, and create a road map for it.

12. You are always anxious

You worry about everything: what will happen in the next five years, what your friends are thinking about you, finding the partner of your dreams, being a millionaire before you turn 35…

Worrying doesn’t solve problems. It only saps your energy that will have been used in something more productive. Try not to be anxious and take each day at a time.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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