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12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

12 Habits You Should Kick Before You Hit 30

Age 30 is a pivotal age. When you reach that milestone of being 30, there should be certain bad habits you have been able to let go of.

1. You should stop caring about what the world thinks of you

Do you really want to get the world’s attention? Are you always putting up a post or a picture on social media and suddenly you have become so active on social media that you do not have a life of your own put together?

You really need to stop caring about what the world thinks of you and do what makes you happy without seeking any undue attention. It will help you concentrate on your life rather than how others react to it.

2. You keep holding on to a grudge

Forgiveness is very important as you reach 30. Holding a grudge can negatively impact your social life, and your relationships with those you work with.

It is important for you to let go of those who have hurt you and forgive yourself. If you can achieve this, you can break down whatever mental block that is working against you.

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3. You don’t want to be responsible

You don’t want to be responsible and keep running around the hole instead of staring at your problems and dealing with them. You are stuck playing the victim, which creates tension in your social life and doesn’t allow you to learn from your mistakes.

You have to take your life and be in charge of it, whether financially, spiritually and emotionally. You should stop making excuses and delegating blames to this or that. If you are not okay with where you are now, you should start fixing it.

4. You don’t save

You spend your money as it comes and live paycheck to paycheck. You think you are the king by buying all the latest luxury goods in the market, when you are really taking away your own safety net.

You really need to start focusing on your future. Saving money is what will secure that future.

5. You still hang around the wrong people

What do your friends say about you? Do they have a positive influence on you or are you trying to have a sense of belonging by following the pack?

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You deserve to be with friends that bring out the best in you and compliment your strengths and personality. If your friends are holding you back, make new connections and learn about new communities to start new.

6. You love getting wasted

You believe you are still the ‘wonderkid’ and you love getting wasted to prove to yourself that you are young and adventurous. You keep doing this and you will hurt your career, your personal life, and your health.

Focus on things that bring out the best in you and make you someone everyone wants to be with. There are many ways to have fun without drugs or alcohol – seek out those adventures instead.

7. You don’t value important relationships

You are distant and far from friends and family. You don’t value them or even spend time with them. You only reach out to friends and family when you need something from them.

You have to set aside some time for friends and family, as they important to your personal development. Nourishing those relationships will help you grow, and help you achieve success in the long run.

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8. You do not maintain a healthy lifestyle

You prefer to drink, smoke and eat out than to discipline yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle like exercising, cooking and eating right. Maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle will only jeopardize your health and harm your body in the long run. This negatively affects your health, your ability to manage stress, and probably your social life.

Try to get on a regimented schedule, so you know when you are working out for the week, and what you’ll be eating. Limit your use of drugs and alcohol.

9. You keep on procrastinating

You wait for the time to be perfect before you take an action. Guess what, there is never a perfect time to do what you have to. The world won’t wait for you.

Learn to take action and pursue your dreams.

10. You stick to your past

The past is the past. You don’t have to continue beating yourself over the mistakes you made. Living in regrets does not take you anywhere.

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Learn to focus on what is ahead and set goals and make plans for the future.

11. You have no goals

You have no clarity about where you are going. You live your life on auto-pilot. You make others determine your direction when you have no absolute clarity about your destination.

You should determine where you want to be and what you want out of life, and create a road map for it.

12. You are always anxious

You worry about everything: what will happen in the next five years, what your friends are thinking about you, finding the partner of your dreams, being a millionaire before you turn 35…

Worrying doesn’t solve problems. It only saps your energy that will have been used in something more productive. Try not to be anxious and take each day at a time.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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