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13 Reasons Why Couples Who Read Together, Stay Together

13 Reasons Why Couples Who Read Together, Stay Together

Reading is fun. It builds your mind and takes you to places you would otherwise be unable to visit. When you are able to perform this journey with someone you love, it is that much more enjoyable. Here are reasons why couples who read together stay together.

1. They can discover

The world of books and reading does excite. People who read together are challenged and are simply more interesting people. Readers want to find and be more intrigued by new stories and experiences. They don’t get stuck because they have busy minds that are constantly engaged.

2. They are healthier

Research has shown that reading slows the progress and prevents the development of Alzheimer’s and dementia. People who read together are concerned about their mental health and do well to keep their brain active.

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3. They are happy

Reading reduces stress. Because stress is reduced in one person, this combined effect is possible for a couple to achieve together through reading. Reading stimulates the mind and can make you more relaxed as a couple. Soon enough, you’ll have more energy to undertake more productive pursuits that will make you happy with the person you love.

4. They are smarter

Reading makes you smarter. Undoubtedly, knowledge is power. Couples who read together are better educated and capable of dealing with challenges and obstacles which may dampen a relationship.

5. They find each other attractive

Who is not attracted to someone who shares a similar interest or desire? Couples who read together find each other fascinating and enjoy each other’s company. They always have common ground and a common bond which makes them stronger.

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6. They enjoy a balanced relationship

Reading keeps a relationship balanced as there is something to talk about because of what they read and learn together from books. Such balance in relationship offers couples the essential elements of every relationship — love and respect.

7. They have fewer distractions

People who read are more focused. The traditional way of actually hold a book in your hands and sitting still helps you to stay away from distractions from electronic devices or technology. Reading has the ability to improve your focus and attentiveness. Fewer distractions mean better communication in a relationship.

8. They enjoy each other’s company

Books take you to places you may never have been able to travel to — many of the locales in books only exist in our imaginations (Hogwarts anyone?!). Another person who reads challenges you to become a more advanced reader of books. You’ll always be encouraged to start stimulating conversations you will both have. Such conversations will help you value and appreciate each other better.

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9. They discover each other

What someone reads make you notice them. You are able to see the other person beyond the surface and become aware of whom and what this person means to your world. Such discovery makes you unleash and embrace each other’s perceptions and perspectives.

10. They know how to converse with others

Conversations are healthy and mentally stimulating with couples who read together. They find interesting topics to talk others about in social settings. When a couple is on the same page, they can support each other in conversations with bigger groups of friends.

11. They enjoy healthy connections

They enjoy healthy connections since they will have friends who share similar interests and help to improve their relationships. More people who are aligned with their ability of reading are drawn to them and this improves them as a duo.

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12. They have an intimate relationship

They have a better cuddle at the end of the day. Reading a book together makes for intimacy through cuddling and sex since there is positive energy generated from reading. The intimacy you experience in sharing books can flow over into other aspects of your life.

13. They have a healthier vocabulary

Whether in terms of emotional vocabulary or in saying the right words to each other, couples who read together have a healthier vocabulary. A healthy vocabulary helps you to communicate and express your thoughts, feelings and intentions better to your partner.

Featured photo credit: young man lying down near lake reading to his girlfriend book via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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