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13 Reasons Why Couples Who Read Together, Stay Together

13 Reasons Why Couples Who Read Together, Stay Together

Reading is fun. It builds your mind and takes you to places you would otherwise be unable to visit. When you are able to perform this journey with someone you love, it is that much more enjoyable. Here are reasons why couples who read together stay together.

1. They can discover

The world of books and reading does excite. People who read together are challenged and are simply more interesting people. Readers want to find and be more intrigued by new stories and experiences. They don’t get stuck because they have busy minds that are constantly engaged.

2. They are healthier

Research has shown that reading slows the progress and prevents the development of Alzheimer’s and dementia. People who read together are concerned about their mental health and do well to keep their brain active.

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3. They are happy

Reading reduces stress. Because stress is reduced in one person, this combined effect is possible for a couple to achieve together through reading. Reading stimulates the mind and can make you more relaxed as a couple. Soon enough, you’ll have more energy to undertake more productive pursuits that will make you happy with the person you love.

4. They are smarter

Reading makes you smarter. Undoubtedly, knowledge is power. Couples who read together are better educated and capable of dealing with challenges and obstacles which may dampen a relationship.

5. They find each other attractive

Who is not attracted to someone who shares a similar interest or desire? Couples who read together find each other fascinating and enjoy each other’s company. They always have common ground and a common bond which makes them stronger.

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6. They enjoy a balanced relationship

Reading keeps a relationship balanced as there is something to talk about because of what they read and learn together from books. Such balance in relationship offers couples the essential elements of every relationship — love and respect.

7. They have fewer distractions

People who read are more focused. The traditional way of actually hold a book in your hands and sitting still helps you to stay away from distractions from electronic devices or technology. Reading has the ability to improve your focus and attentiveness. Fewer distractions mean better communication in a relationship.

8. They enjoy each other’s company

Books take you to places you may never have been able to travel to — many of the locales in books only exist in our imaginations (Hogwarts anyone?!). Another person who reads challenges you to become a more advanced reader of books. You’ll always be encouraged to start stimulating conversations you will both have. Such conversations will help you value and appreciate each other better.

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9. They discover each other

What someone reads make you notice them. You are able to see the other person beyond the surface and become aware of whom and what this person means to your world. Such discovery makes you unleash and embrace each other’s perceptions and perspectives.

10. They know how to converse with others

Conversations are healthy and mentally stimulating with couples who read together. They find interesting topics to talk others about in social settings. When a couple is on the same page, they can support each other in conversations with bigger groups of friends.

11. They enjoy healthy connections

They enjoy healthy connections since they will have friends who share similar interests and help to improve their relationships. More people who are aligned with their ability of reading are drawn to them and this improves them as a duo.

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12. They have an intimate relationship

They have a better cuddle at the end of the day. Reading a book together makes for intimacy through cuddling and sex since there is positive energy generated from reading. The intimacy you experience in sharing books can flow over into other aspects of your life.

13. They have a healthier vocabulary

Whether in terms of emotional vocabulary or in saying the right words to each other, couples who read together have a healthier vocabulary. A healthy vocabulary helps you to communicate and express your thoughts, feelings and intentions better to your partner.

Featured photo credit: young man lying down near lake reading to his girlfriend book via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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