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Say Goodbye To Mother’s Guilt: How Children of Working Moms Are Better-Off

Say Goodbye To Mother’s Guilt: How Children of Working Moms Are Better-Off

“I don’t know why, I mean there’s no rational reason behind this feeling, but I can’t stop feeling guilty about my time away from home, from my kids, even if that’s for work. Doesn’t make any sense, does it?” – Rachel, a working mother of two kids.

“I know it sounds crazy emotional, but wait until you become one, and you’ll see my point that you cannot simply ignore your true calling, which is your kid once you become a mom.” – Lisa, a mother of a toddler, Carrie. Lisa feels strongly about her occupation stopping her from being there for Carrie round the clock.

It doesn’t matter how many kids someone has or for how long one has been handling these issues, a working mom is rarely free from the guilt she feels for not being able to stay with her children as much as she would like to.

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It gets worse. But it shouldn’t. Mothers shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving behind their children as they are at work. Here’s a set of reasons that will get rid of that guilt.

They indirectly help their children earn more

Here’s an interesting research finding. In the U.S., daughters of working mothers earn 23% more than daughters of stay-at-home moms. There is probably some noise in the data, but intuitively this makes sense. Daughters of working mothers see first-hand how difficult it may be to raise a family. A daughter learns directly from their mother’s perseverance, focus, and grit. They develop the same strong work ethics when they grow up, which naturally translates into higher incomes.

They have more caring and responsible children

The children of working moms tend to be more caring and responsible. They take on early responsibility, tend to be more mature and more adept at dealing with social situations. Research has found that 33% of the kids of working moms tend to take responsibility and rise to the occasion, while only 25% of the children of working moms are comfortable to do so.

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They help their children prioritize

Your children may want you to stay with them all the time. You may wish to do the same thing. You want to follow your heart. However, there are some wants that have no valid merit to them, which you need to understand too.

On the other hand some needs require fulfillment whether you are home or not. For example, it’s essential to feed your kids in time, send them to school and pick them up from there, as well as allowing them enough time and opportunity for studies and fun. Identify and categorize these things accordingly. Prioritize whatever is required to keep the needs dealt with, and the wants set aside for when time allows.

The best part of this process is how your kids learn from seeing you prioritize. They idolize you and imitate you unknowingly. In doing so, they too learn how to prioritize and balance things in life from a young age.

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They spend more quality time with their children

Whatever time they have for their children, they try to make it count. As a result, they plan everything well and do each thing with a purpose. Time well spent is more memorable than time spent but wasted. Their children learn to appreciate each moment they have with them, and in turn appreciate them more.

They learn to stop comparing

One of the biggest mistakes we make while parenting our children is to compare ourselves with other parents. The best parents I have seen so far are never really bothered about how other parents raise their kids. They simply try to do what they can do best. As Warren Buffett says, the best measure of self-worth should come from within.

The bottom line?

Stop feeling guilty. Too many working moms weigh themselves down with the word “should”. I should have gone to his graduation ceremony, should have taught her how to bake cookies, should have bought him that air purifier… the list goes on and on. The reality is, your kids may well be better off because you are a working mom. There is no room for “should” in your vocabulary.

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Featured photo credit: PASQUALE VITIELLO via magdeleine.co

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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