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Say Goodbye To Mother’s Guilt: How Children of Working Moms Are Better-Off

Say Goodbye To Mother’s Guilt: How Children of Working Moms Are Better-Off

“I don’t know why, I mean there’s no rational reason behind this feeling, but I can’t stop feeling guilty about my time away from home, from my kids, even if that’s for work. Doesn’t make any sense, does it?” – Rachel, a working mother of two kids.

“I know it sounds crazy emotional, but wait until you become one, and you’ll see my point that you cannot simply ignore your true calling, which is your kid once you become a mom.” – Lisa, a mother of a toddler, Carrie. Lisa feels strongly about her occupation stopping her from being there for Carrie round the clock.

It doesn’t matter how many kids someone has or for how long one has been handling these issues, a working mom is rarely free from the guilt she feels for not being able to stay with her children as much as she would like to.

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It gets worse. But it shouldn’t. Mothers shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving behind their children as they are at work. Here’s a set of reasons that will get rid of that guilt.

They indirectly help their children earn more

Here’s an interesting research finding. In the U.S., daughters of working mothers earn 23% more than daughters of stay-at-home moms. There is probably some noise in the data, but intuitively this makes sense. Daughters of working mothers see first-hand how difficult it may be to raise a family. A daughter learns directly from their mother’s perseverance, focus, and grit. They develop the same strong work ethics when they grow up, which naturally translates into higher incomes.

They have more caring and responsible children

The children of working moms tend to be more caring and responsible. They take on early responsibility, tend to be more mature and more adept at dealing with social situations. Research has found that 33% of the kids of working moms tend to take responsibility and rise to the occasion, while only 25% of the children of working moms are comfortable to do so.

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They help their children prioritize

Your children may want you to stay with them all the time. You may wish to do the same thing. You want to follow your heart. However, there are some wants that have no valid merit to them, which you need to understand too.

On the other hand some needs require fulfillment whether you are home or not. For example, it’s essential to feed your kids in time, send them to school and pick them up from there, as well as allowing them enough time and opportunity for studies and fun. Identify and categorize these things accordingly. Prioritize whatever is required to keep the needs dealt with, and the wants set aside for when time allows.

The best part of this process is how your kids learn from seeing you prioritize. They idolize you and imitate you unknowingly. In doing so, they too learn how to prioritize and balance things in life from a young age.

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They spend more quality time with their children

Whatever time they have for their children, they try to make it count. As a result, they plan everything well and do each thing with a purpose. Time well spent is more memorable than time spent but wasted. Their children learn to appreciate each moment they have with them, and in turn appreciate them more.

They learn to stop comparing

One of the biggest mistakes we make while parenting our children is to compare ourselves with other parents. The best parents I have seen so far are never really bothered about how other parents raise their kids. They simply try to do what they can do best. As Warren Buffett says, the best measure of self-worth should come from within.

The bottom line?

Stop feeling guilty. Too many working moms weigh themselves down with the word “should”. I should have gone to his graduation ceremony, should have taught her how to bake cookies, should have bought him that air purifier… the list goes on and on. The reality is, your kids may well be better off because you are a working mom. There is no room for “should” in your vocabulary.

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Featured photo credit: PASQUALE VITIELLO via magdeleine.co

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Published on November 7, 2018

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

In 2016, it was estimated that 1.7 million children were being homeschooled in the U.S, roughly 3.3% of all school-aged children.[1] Although this may not sound like a big portion of the population, the growth rate of homeschooling has been 7 to15% per year for the last two decades.

The burgeoning numbers are not a coincidence. There are tremendous benefits to homeschooling, including one-on-one teaching, adaptability to individual needs and learning styles, a safe learning environment, encouraging learning for knowledge rather than grades, and tailoring a curriculum to the child’s interests.

Is homeschooling something that you have been considering for your family? With all of the tools and resources available for homeschoolers in the 21st century, it may be easier than you think.

How to Homeschool (Getting Started)

After thinking it through, you’ve decided that homeschooling is the right step for you and your family. Now what? Here are the first things you should do to get your homeschooling journey started on the right track.

Figure Out the Laws

Homeschooling is regulated by the state, not the federal government. The first step is to find the current and accurate legal requirements mandated by your state in order to educate your child legally.[2]

The regulations can vary widely, from strict guidelines to no guidelines at all. However, don’t be overwhelmed by the legal jargon. There are many resources and local communities for homeschooling families that can help you figure out the logistics.

Decide on an Approach

Every child’s needs are different. This is your chance to choose the homeschooling style or combination of styles that best fits your child’s learning style and interests. A brief description of seven different homeschooling methods are listed below.

Supplies/Resources

Often times, purchasing a homeschooling curriculum is done too early in the planning process, resulting in buyer’s remorse.

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A curriculum is not always needed for homeschooling, and other types of free or less structured resources are readily available.

Find a Community

Getting connected with a community of homeschoolers is one of the most important parts of building a successful and thriving homeschool environment for your kids.

Look for communities online for virtual support or a local group that you and your kids can interact with. Partnering with others fosters better socialization skills for the students and provides opportunities for field trips, classes, and outings that wouldn’t have otherwise been a part of the homeschooling experience.

7 Different Homeschooling Methods

1. School-At-Home

Also known as Traditional homeschool, School-At-Home uses essentially the same curriculum as the local private or public school but at home.

The lessons can be completed independently, but more commonly, they are administered by a parent or a teacher-facilitated online school.

  • Benefits: formal standards, wide selection of curricula, same pace as peers, short-term friendly
  • Drawbacks: expensive, inflexible, time consuming, parent can get easily burnt out
  • Resources: K12, Time4Learning, Abeka

2. Classical

One of the most popular homeschooling methods used, it borrows educational practices from Ancient Greece and Rome. Subject areas are studied chronologically so that students can understand the consequence of ideas over time.

Socratic dialogue fosters effective discussions and debate to achieve beyond mere comprehension. There is often a strong emphasis on Great Books[3] as well as Greek and Latin.

3. Unit Studies

Rather than breaking up education into subjects, unit studies approach each topic as a whole, studying it from the perspective of each subject area.

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For example, a unit study about animals could include reading books about animals, learning about the classification of animals, figuring out which animals live on which continents, etc. This method is often used as a technique in other more comprehensive educational methodologies.

  • Benefits: promotes thinking about concepts as a whole, not monotonous or redundant, student-directed, bolsters weaker subject areas, beneficial for teaching multi-age students
  • Drawbacks: incomplete, knowledge gaps, curriculum-dependent
  • Resources: Unit Study, Unit Studies, Unit Studies Made Easy, Konos

4. Charlotte Mason

This Christian homeschooling style utilizes shorts periods of study (15-20 minute max for elementary, 45 minute max for high school), along with nature walks and history portfolios.

Students are encouraged to practice observation, memorization, and narration often. With a focus on “living books” (stories with heroes, life lessons, socio-ethical implications), reading plays a big role in this student-paced teaching style.

5. Montessori

Maria Montessori developed this method through working with special needs children in the early 20th century.

With a primary focus on the student setting the pace and indirect instruction from the teacher, this approach includes free movement, large unstructured time blocks (up to 3 hours), multi-grade classes, and individualized learning plans based on interests.

6. Unschooling

Unschooling is a learning model largely based on the work of John Holt.[4] The teaching style focuses mainly on the students’ interests, putting priority on experiential, activity-based, and learn as you go approaches.

For basic skills such as reading, writing, and math, a systematic technique is employed, but testing and evaluations are typically not utilized. Teachers, in general, play more of a facilitator role.

7. Eclectic/Relaxed

As the most popular method of homeschool, eclectic homeschooling is child-directed, resourceful, and non-curriculum based.

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Parents can sample any combination of homeschooling methods and styles or resources. One growing sector of eclectic homeschooling combines part homeschooling with part traditional schooling.

How to Facilitate Homeschooling with Technology

One of the reasons homeschooling is more feasible than ever before is due to the accessibility of tools and resources to enhance the learning process.

Email

Email is a tool that has really stood the test of time. Invented in 1972, it is still used today as a primary means of communicating on the Internet.

It is a great way to share assignments, links, and videos between parent and student.

Google Drive/Calendar

Google Drive offers a multitude of essential programs that can come in handy for homeschoolers, such as Docs, Sheets, Slides, and more.

With its sharing capabilities, easy accessibility, and auto-save ability, it’s easier than ever to organize and complete assignments. It will improve students’ writing and typing skills, as well as eliminate the need for paper.

Google Calendar is an excellent tool for tracking assignment due dates, planning field trips and activities, and developing time management skills.

Ebooks

Rather than invest in physical copies of books, ebooks are a wonderful option for saving money and space. There are plenty of places that offer a free or paid subscription to a wide selection of ebooks:

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E-Courses

When a structured curriculum is necessary for teaching a certain topic, an e-course is the way to go.

From watercolors to calculus, there are e-courses available about almost everything. Including different teaching styles that vary from the parents will encourage students to learn in different ways.

The visual and auditory stimulation will also be beneficial in helping students understand and retain the concepts being taught.

Some recommendations:

Youtube

Youtube is not just a platform for music videos and cats doing funny things. There are a number of Youtube channels that produce quality educational videos, free of charge.

Creating a playlist of videos for various topics is a great way to supplement a homeschool education.

Some recommendations:

Final Thoughts

Homeschooling in the current age looks much different than it did ten years ago. There are more options and more flexibility when it comes to educating kids at home.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the idea of homeschooling your children if it could make a positive impact on your family.

Featured photo credit: Hal Gatewood via unsplash.com

Reference

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