Advertising
Advertising

7 Signs Your Ego Is Limiting Your Success (And How To Tame It)

7 Signs Your Ego Is Limiting Your Success (And How To Tame It)

There’s a fine line between confident and egotistical. It’s definitely okay to take pride in your work and have the self-esteem to know that you’re good at what you do, but it’s another to think you’re better than everyone else and act superior to them. Your ego can really get in the way. If you truly are better at performing your job than other people are, gloating about it only wastes time and energy. Instead, you should work on building others up in order for the entire team to succeed.

Signs of egotism:

  • Frequent complaining

Egotists find any and everything to complain about when things start to go wrong, when they should really be using that energy to right the ship. These people tend to blame others for a team’s shortcomings, rather than look at what they can do better, or what they can do to help others grow.

  • Frequent arguing

Since they tend to place blame on others, egotists are often very confrontational. This leads to rifts between colleagues and coworkers, ultimately impeding any progress for all parties involved.

Advertising

  • Defensive behavior

Egotists are quick to blame everyone else, but somehow always have a reason for why they didn’t perform well on a task. When others mess up, they’re incompetent; when they mess up, it’s because they didn’t sleep well, or have a lot on their plate. They often don’t listen to constructive criticism, believing their supervisor is simply out to get them. Obviously, this attitude completely impedes their ability to improve.

  • Self-criticism

Behind closed doors, egotists are incredibly critical of themselves. They are afraid of taking risks or stepping out of their comfort zones because they fear being laughed at. This stems from the notion that they actually think anyone else truly cares enough to judge them. Egotists also believe that others think this way simply because that’s how they operate themselves.

  • No apologies

Why would an egotist apologize? In their eyes, they never do any wrong. This goes back to how they often blame others for their own mistakes or shortcomings, and how they rationalize their own behavior. When someone wrongs them, they’ll hold a grudge until the other party apologizes. When they wrong others, they believe the other party should just let it go.

Advertising

  • Impatience

Egotists are rather impatient when it takes others a little longer to learn something or complete a task. They think they’re more intelligent and efficient than everyone else in the room, so they get frustrated when someone else takes their time doing something. They don’t take the time to consider other people’s thought processes or abilities. Rather than help others, they simply complain about how long it’s taking them to get a job done.

  • Passing judgment

Obviously, egotists are incredibly judgmental. They don’t consider other people’s background, personal life, or any other factor when analyzing their ability to perform a specific task. When others fail, egotists don’t see them as a work in progress; they simply see them as a failure.

Ways to overcome egotism

You might not even realize you’re acting in a way that comes of as egotistical. If any of the preceding characteristics apply to you, you should take action in order to become a more compassionate, team-driven individual.

Advertising

  • Help others instead of putting them down

Don’t waste time and energy complaining about how terrible others are at their jobs. If you’re so much better than them, it should be easy to help them improve. Share the strategies you’ve used to move forward in life. Your colleagues will most likely appreciate your efforts, and your team will move toward success.

  • Use criticism wisely

When helping others, point out the things they do well. Although they probably have areas in need of improvement pertaining to their performance, don’t harp on them. Instead, guide them toward growth. Nobody likes a critic, so if you’re going to criticize others, make sure it’s for a positive reason.

  • Only judge yourself

You should never, ever judge anyone other than yourself. Don’t compare other people’s performance to your own because you have no idea about any other aspect of their life, and have never walked in their shoes. Compare yourself only to the person you were yesterday. If you haven’t made improvements yourself, you have no right to judge anyone else.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm8.staticflickr.com

More by this author

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

Trending in Communication

1 How To Control Your Emotions Effectively 2 How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success 3 30 Ways To Treat Yourself No Matter What 4 30 Books Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Lives 5 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 23, 2019

How To Control Your Emotions Effectively

How To Control Your Emotions Effectively

Jill and Sarah are best friends. They do everything together, but they are also very different.

Jill is constantly strung out; the smallest mishap will send her into a state of frustration, stress and shouting. She is affected by everything around her: the traffic, long queues, the mean colleague. Her mood and happiness are directly influenced on a daily basis by what is happening around her. Sarah on the other hand, doesn’t let small things get to her. She decides how she wants to feel and she is much happier on a continuous basis than Jill.

What is the difference?

Choice.

Managing your emotions is very much a question of choice. Do you want to, or not? So much has been written about emotions and how to deal with them effectively, yet many people can’t control this area of life. Why? Managing emotions effectively is actually like developing a skill or a habit. It is a way of doing something better, and as humans, we struggle with change the most.

Advertising

Changing the way you usually do something is not easy and it is even more difficult when it comes to emotions. When we are feeling ‘emotional,’ the last thing we want to do is calm down and try to deal with the situation pro-actively; we most often want to rant about what is upsetting us.

If we understand a little more about how our emotions work, we are in a much better position to use this information to our advantage. Learning to control your emotions can be one of the best skills you will ever develop in your life. Your emotions lead to the actions you take and therefore, create the life you are experiencing now, every part of it.

Our emotional part of the brain, the limbic system, is one of the oldest parts when compared, for example, to our prefrontal cortex, which is our ‘thinking’ part. Because our emotional part is so old, and therefore an extremely strong part of the brain, it is understandable that it feels like our emotions run us and hijack our thinking at times. The average person’s emotional part of the brain is over six billion times more active than the prefrontal cortex.

The point is, your emotions will naturally hijack your thinking—this is a given—but there are still ways to deal with this.

To keep things simple, let’s look at what you can do to flip this situation around. Ignoring emotions, suppressing them or not dealing with them will come back to bite you! Stress and anxiety come from suppressed emotions, so if you think that dealing with your emotions by ignoring them is going to work, you are sorely wrong.

Advertising

Here are four simple steps to start controlling your emotions effectively.

1. The First Step Is Awareness

If you are not aware of the times when you are overly emotional or overreacting, how can you try to manage it? It is impossible. Start to monitor your emotions and give names to them. Sometimes we find it difficult to identify what we are feeling. Giving it a name helps us gain clarity, which is essential in moving forward.

2. Discover the ‘Why’ of Your Emotions

Once you have identified how you are feeling, you want to discover why you are feeling it. What is causing this feeling inside you? Of course, there could be a million reasons, and to find out you have to ask yourself, like you would a friend, “What is wrong? What is causing me to feel this way?” Your mind will always look for an answer.

Most of the time, simply the way you are thinking about the situation is causing you to feel the way you do. Another huge reason why we feel negative emotions is because our values are not present in that moment or being respected.

Remember: discover the ‘why.’

Advertising

3. Then Ask Yourself, “What Is the Solution?”

Once you have discovered why, what can you do to take back control? Sometimes, you might need to change the way you are thinking about the situation.

You see, your thoughts lead directly to your feelings; so if you are feeling bad, you most likely have a negative thought that is making you feel that way. If you start thinking of other possible ways of looking at the situation, you will begin to feel better immediately. What you focus on expands!

Sometimes, by simply understanding why you feel a certain way at a certain time, your emotions will start to diminish because understanding always leads to calming.

4. Choose How You Want to React

This is the hardest part. The way that we react and manage our emotions is a habit. Haven’t you noticed those people who get stressed out about nothing, literally freaking out at nothing? You almost feel sorry for them. They have created a habit of associating a situation they don’t like with ‘freaking out.’ Their emotions have hijacked them.

Learning to listen to your emotions, to identify, understand and then choose them, isn’t something that you decide to practice twice a week at lunchtime. No, it is with continuous effort and discipline that you can start to build this essential skill.

Advertising

Final Thoughts

Do you control your emotions, or do they really control and direct you?

It isn’t easy and that’s why so many people don’t make an effort and give up. But once you are able to control your emotions, life changes for you in more ways than you ever dreamed possible. Not only will you feel way more empowered and in control in life, but you will be happier and much healthier as you won’t be stressed or weighed down so often.

More About Controlling Emotions

Featured photo credit: Christian Fregnan via unsplash.com

Read Next