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7 Life Barriers People Overcome to be Successful

7 Life Barriers People Overcome to be Successful

Becoming a success isn’t something that happens by accident, chance, or luck. The Mark Zuckerbergs and Michael Jordans of the world have the same 24 hours in a day that we all have, and they face some of the same barriers that we face on a daily basis.

The difference lies in how they utilize their time, and how they maneuver past these barriers without wasting a single moment. Some of the most successful people of our time have had to deal with:

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1. Age Discrimination

There’s this misconception in society that 20-year-olds are too young to know enough about the world to succeed, and anyone over 60 is too old to be considered in touch with the realities of the modern world. Though neither stereotype is necessarily true, people in those age ranges have to accept the existence of these beliefs and work hard to ensure their age doesn’t define them. Young adults can do this by bringing unique perspectives to the table rather than regurgitating what their college professors droned on about for hours. Older people can find success by being keeping up with contemporary changes in the way work is done throughout the world. In fighting against age discrimination, you can show the naysayers that you’re worthy of a challenge, regardless of your age.

2. What others think

If you want to be successful, you can’t take what others say personally. As a writer, I’ve had to change my habit of seeing criticism in a negative sense, and realizing I can take negative comments and use them to improve my future work. It’s not so much that I stopped caring altogether what others have to say, but that I started looking past criticism to see constructive feedback. Along with this, you can’t compare yourself to other people. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday; as long as you’ve made some sort of improvement on your former self, you’re on the path to success.

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3. Toxic people

Some people don’t want to see you succeed, because then they’ll feel inadequate themselves. These people need to be dropped from your life before too much damage is done. There’s a saying: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” In other words, you should surround yourself with other like-minded people who thrive on success, and who continuously look for ways to improve their lives. By doing so, you’ll want to push yourself to be a better person as well. Hanging out with complacent people will only lead you to a dead-end road in life.

4. Fear

Some people have a hard time overcoming fear. Fear of failure, fear of being made a fool of, fear of being laughed at. First of all, fear is all in your head. Yes, in middle school your classmates might have laughed at you if you fumbled with your note cards during a speech, but they were 12. The truth is, no strangers care enough about you in the real world to put effort into embarrassing you. In fact, that you’re fearful of what others think simply shows you’re passionate enough to push past the fear and get your ideas out there. And as for a fear of failure: everybody fails. Successful people fail all the time, but they don’t give up. They use their failures as a learning tool and as a springboard to success.

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5. Negativity

Negativity is a combination of being surrounded by toxic people and being afraid of failure. The toxic people won’t share your enthusiasm for an idea, and will bring you down from your motivational high. Being afraid of not performing well will stop you from doing your best at every given moment. Combined, these two powerhouses of negativity add up to a gigantic waste of your time and energy. Don’t dwell on what could go wrong; imagine how incredible your life will be if everything goes right.

6. Dwelling on the past and future

Dwelling on the past is called guilt. Dwelling on the future is called anxiety. Again, both of these are a major waste of time. You can’t go back in time, so there’s no point in dwelling on past mistakes. Yes, you should always learn from mistakes you’ve made in the past, and work your hardest to avoid making them in the future, but that’s about all you can do. Dwelling on the future, on the other hand, is a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you spend all of your time worrying about failing in the future rather than preparing for that same future, you’ll (obviously) be unprepared when the future becomes the present, and you will most likely fail. For example, just imagine a high school student staying up all night worried about failing an exam. In doing so, he actually makes it likely he will fail his exam because he was exhausted from being up through the night.

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7. The state of the world

You’ve probably heard the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Yes, there are a ton of things going wrong in the world today, but there’s no sense in letting these events get you so down that you fail to improve your own life. There will certainly be things in your life you’ll wish you could change but you are unable to. Let these things go, and focus on what you can do to make the world a better place. Even if it’s something small in your community, you’ll still be doing your part to improve some aspect of the world you live in. By doing so, you’ll also be improving your own life.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm8.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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