Advertising
Advertising

10 Things About Relationships I Learned From My Parents

10 Things About Relationships I Learned From My Parents

Kids learn a lot by watching and seeing how their parents go about certain situations.  One of the biggest things kids pick up at an early age is what to expect out of someone they are in a relationship. I was very lucky to be able to grow up and watch what it is like for to people to be in love, and it has taught me a lot about relationships and what I can do to thrive in the one I am lucky to be in now.

1. Learn to love each other’s flaws

Whatever the reasons are that made you fall in love with your significant other, there are bound to be some sort of flaws that surface throughout the relationship, and one thing that I have learned from my parents is that by learning to love the other persons flaws, you end up feeling more closer to who they truly are than before.  If you are like my step dad who was able to love my mom, even though she had us three kids, and even better, love us, and take care of us like we were his own flesh and blood, you truly understand this concept.

Advertising

2. You do not have to enjoy everything they do

It may seem like that your significant other would want you to enjoy everything that they do, but we all know that its not always going to be like that.  If you both like to go watch the races every Sunday together, that is great! Just don’t feel like you have to learn to like it to make your S.O. happy.

3. Giving each other space is equally important to spending time together

There is definitely such a thing as spending too much time together.  I’ve witnessed this, as well as went through this myself.  You start to feel a bit annoyed with you S.O. and just want some space, and that is okay!  This is the perfect opportunity to go and do the things that your S.O. doesn’t enjoy to do, and when you are reunited you have new stories, and a new found appreciation for their presence again!

Advertising

4. Compromise

When there are times where it isn’t feasible to do things separate, compromise is a key attribute to have.  By saying that you will do what he/she wants to do this time, if you guys can do what you want to do the next time, it makes choosing easier and everybody is happy in the end.

5. It is important to respect their family

This may seem like a no brainer, but it is often overlooked.  If you are not as their close to your family as your S.O. is to theirs, you may sometimes come off a little uncaring when it comes to things that involve their side.  Their family is who made them who they are as a person today, so it is important to respect any differences they may have, and to try to get along with them.  It will definitely mean a whole lot to them, and after all, you want to make sure they are happy, right?

Advertising

6. Appreciate what each other has to give

You both play key roles in the relationships more than just romantically.  Whether it comes down to who brings home more money each month, or who does more of the domestic work, you should appreciate what the other one has to offer.  That is something my parents are always good at doing.

7. Do not let chivalry die, fellas

My (step) father truly taught me how to treat a lady, and that’s just what he did for my mom.  There is nothing wrong with holding the door open when out in public, opening her car door for her, or giving her your jacket when she is cold.  It makes a girl feel really good when a man does these little things for her, and it really takes no effort to do them.

Advertising

8. Ladies, it is okay to cater to your man

If your guy takes the time to do the things for you that I wrote in #7, I hope you understand its okay to cater to him every now, and again. Make him dinner, fold his clothes, or whatever you can do to help him out.  This makes a guy feel really appreciated, and will make him crazy for you.  I’m not suggesting do everything for him all the time, but especially if he is the primary bread winner of the house, it would make his days.

9. Communication is crucial

I’ve seen times where my parents would run into conflict due to lack of communication.  It makes things easier for everybody if you both communicate on a regular basis, this way you are both on the same page with current issues, and plans that you may have.

10. Just remember, arguing is normal

Nobody is perfect!  Things are going to happen, you two will argue more than you may think, its just how you handle the situation is what will make or break the relationship.  If you do not escalate the situation even further than it needs to be, usually the problems can be resolved fairly quickly.  I’ve seen this between my parents, and through years of marriage, not one of them has ever taken it too far, or walked out.  Just remember, you both are adults, you both love each other, and you can get through this together.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/Unsplash-242387/ via pixabay.com

More by this author

Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

20 Things To Make A Relationship Last 5 Ways to Deal with Snow Runoff in the Garage 25 Different Ways To Eat Hummus. #5 Is Absolutely Authentic! 25 Creative Products That You Never Knew You Needed 10 Shocking Health Benefits of Juicing, With Recipes!

Trending in Communication

1 The Power of a Positive Environment on Your Everyday Life 2 9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive 3 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Be Happy Again 4 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life 5 How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

Advertising

  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

Advertising

So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

Advertising

What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

Advertising

9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

More on Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

Read Next