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10 Things About Relationships I Learned From My Parents

10 Things About Relationships I Learned From My Parents

Kids learn a lot by watching and seeing how their parents go about certain situations.  One of the biggest things kids pick up at an early age is what to expect out of someone they are in a relationship. I was very lucky to be able to grow up and watch what it is like for to people to be in love, and it has taught me a lot about relationships and what I can do to thrive in the one I am lucky to be in now.

1. Learn to love each other’s flaws

Whatever the reasons are that made you fall in love with your significant other, there are bound to be some sort of flaws that surface throughout the relationship, and one thing that I have learned from my parents is that by learning to love the other persons flaws, you end up feeling more closer to who they truly are than before.  If you are like my step dad who was able to love my mom, even though she had us three kids, and even better, love us, and take care of us like we were his own flesh and blood, you truly understand this concept.

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2. You do not have to enjoy everything they do

It may seem like that your significant other would want you to enjoy everything that they do, but we all know that its not always going to be like that.  If you both like to go watch the races every Sunday together, that is great! Just don’t feel like you have to learn to like it to make your S.O. happy.

3. Giving each other space is equally important to spending time together

There is definitely such a thing as spending too much time together.  I’ve witnessed this, as well as went through this myself.  You start to feel a bit annoyed with you S.O. and just want some space, and that is okay!  This is the perfect opportunity to go and do the things that your S.O. doesn’t enjoy to do, and when you are reunited you have new stories, and a new found appreciation for their presence again!

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4. Compromise

When there are times where it isn’t feasible to do things separate, compromise is a key attribute to have.  By saying that you will do what he/she wants to do this time, if you guys can do what you want to do the next time, it makes choosing easier and everybody is happy in the end.

5. It is important to respect their family

This may seem like a no brainer, but it is often overlooked.  If you are not as their close to your family as your S.O. is to theirs, you may sometimes come off a little uncaring when it comes to things that involve their side.  Their family is who made them who they are as a person today, so it is important to respect any differences they may have, and to try to get along with them.  It will definitely mean a whole lot to them, and after all, you want to make sure they are happy, right?

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6. Appreciate what each other has to give

You both play key roles in the relationships more than just romantically.  Whether it comes down to who brings home more money each month, or who does more of the domestic work, you should appreciate what the other one has to offer.  That is something my parents are always good at doing.

7. Do not let chivalry die, fellas

My (step) father truly taught me how to treat a lady, and that’s just what he did for my mom.  There is nothing wrong with holding the door open when out in public, opening her car door for her, or giving her your jacket when she is cold.  It makes a girl feel really good when a man does these little things for her, and it really takes no effort to do them.

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8. Ladies, it is okay to cater to your man

If your guy takes the time to do the things for you that I wrote in #7, I hope you understand its okay to cater to him every now, and again. Make him dinner, fold his clothes, or whatever you can do to help him out.  This makes a guy feel really appreciated, and will make him crazy for you.  I’m not suggesting do everything for him all the time, but especially if he is the primary bread winner of the house, it would make his days.

9. Communication is crucial

I’ve seen times where my parents would run into conflict due to lack of communication.  It makes things easier for everybody if you both communicate on a regular basis, this way you are both on the same page with current issues, and plans that you may have.

10. Just remember, arguing is normal

Nobody is perfect!  Things are going to happen, you two will argue more than you may think, its just how you handle the situation is what will make or break the relationship.  If you do not escalate the situation even further than it needs to be, usually the problems can be resolved fairly quickly.  I’ve seen this between my parents, and through years of marriage, not one of them has ever taken it too far, or walked out.  Just remember, you both are adults, you both love each other, and you can get through this together.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/Unsplash-242387/ via pixabay.com

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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