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10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship

10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship

Abuse comes in many forms. No two relationships are the same. However, there is definitely a common thread on the patterns and behaviors that we see, I talk from experience.

Some forms of abuse are easy to identify and understand, but sometimes abuse is not so easy to see. Emotional and psychological abuse often fly under the radar, and not considered as abuse. However, they can be just as dangerous. Usually, if someone is getting physically abused there is always emotional abuse. Unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. Knowing the warning signs and prevention is key. Believe me, once you start getting abused it can escalate quickly and unfold before the blink of eye. All of sudden you’re curled up in a ball in the corner of the room wondering how you got there. It’s never as easy as, “Why don’t you just leave.”

The aim of this article is to give you not only an understanding as to the warning signs of abusive behavior, but also tell you how you can ask a question that might save someone’s life. Abuse is not tied to one particular demographic. It affects one in three people and it can be lead to any number of other things, such as mental illness, drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and obesity — or death.

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Certain personality traits in a loved one can be seen as “cute” in the beginning; however, they can quickly turn into abuse. For example, a little jealously or the constant “checking in” to see what you’re doing, is just one sign of an abusive partner. Look to this list for further examples.

They Try To Control You

Whether it is the constant calls, dictating what you do each day and where you can go, your finances, the friends you have, or the clothes you wear, they’re always trying to control you. These are warning signs that they are not letting you be the person you want to be. You just don’t know when the day is going to come when the control turns into something they can’t control.

They Belittle and Humiliate You

They put you down and embarrass you in front of other people. They begin to point out flaws in your appearance or your personality.

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They Make Constant Accusations

They constantly think you’re doing something when you’re not. They think you’re flirting with others, looking at the opposite sex, and having affairs. Or they don’t like how you spoke to “that person” for too long.

They Withdrawal Their Affection

An abusive sign is when the relationship’s affection and intimacy is on their terms. They also might become uninterested in affection, or it only comes with conditions.

They Lack Communication

You can’t talk to them without them getting angry. They also never want to hear what you have to say.

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They Make Threats

If they make threats of suicide, or if they threaten your life if you leave, they’re definitely manipulating you. This is just another form of abuse.

They Commit Adultery

They may conduct provocative behavior with the opposite sex. However, they could also expect you to allow them to sleep with other people, but deny you the same “benefit”.

They Are Sarcastic

They use an unpleasant tone of voice, sometimes even being negatively sarcastic towards you.

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They Are Moody

They have an array of volatile emotions, It seems to swing from extremes, for no apparent reason. Somehow they find a way to blame you for their mood, when it’s not even your fault.

They Only Love You If…

Their love comes with conditions, “I love you but…” or “I will love you if…” Real love is unconditional. It doesn’t verge into abusive territory like this.

In Conclusion

When someone is in an abusive relationship, silence, fear and shame consumes them. This could be your relationship, especially if you recognize any of those listed qualities in your partner. As much as you want to speak up, you can’t. But you want to, more than anything you want to. So ask yourself the question: “Do I think I know someone who is being abused?” If so, ask them to take a seat and have a chat. Simply ask them, “Are you okay?” Their answer could change their world.

Once we empower people to use their emotional guidance system and how to deal with their emotions, the less we will see domestic violence, as well as sexual and emotional abuse in society. The most important thing is to break the silence and open up about our experience, so we can help others.

About Renée Mayne

Renée Mayne came from a life of physical abuse and transformed it into one that is filled with love. She lives life wide-awake.

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7 Things About Love And Life I Wish My Daughters Knew Earlier Than I Did 10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship 5 Reasons Why Misunderstanding Mindfulness & Spirituality Is Robbing People Of Their Happiness.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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