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10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship

10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship

Abuse comes in many forms. No two relationships are the same. However, there is definitely a common thread on the patterns and behaviors that we see, I talk from experience.

Some forms of abuse are easy to identify and understand, but sometimes abuse is not so easy to see. Emotional and psychological abuse often fly under the radar, and not considered as abuse. However, they can be just as dangerous. Usually, if someone is getting physically abused there is always emotional abuse. Unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. Knowing the warning signs and prevention is key. Believe me, once you start getting abused it can escalate quickly and unfold before the blink of eye. All of sudden you’re curled up in a ball in the corner of the room wondering how you got there. It’s never as easy as, “Why don’t you just leave.”

The aim of this article is to give you not only an understanding as to the warning signs of abusive behavior, but also tell you how you can ask a question that might save someone’s life. Abuse is not tied to one particular demographic. It affects one in three people and it can be lead to any number of other things, such as mental illness, drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and obesity — or death.

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Certain personality traits in a loved one can be seen as “cute” in the beginning; however, they can quickly turn into abuse. For example, a little jealously or the constant “checking in” to see what you’re doing, is just one sign of an abusive partner. Look to this list for further examples.

They Try To Control You

Whether it is the constant calls, dictating what you do each day and where you can go, your finances, the friends you have, or the clothes you wear, they’re always trying to control you. These are warning signs that they are not letting you be the person you want to be. You just don’t know when the day is going to come when the control turns into something they can’t control.

They Belittle and Humiliate You

They put you down and embarrass you in front of other people. They begin to point out flaws in your appearance or your personality.

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They Make Constant Accusations

They constantly think you’re doing something when you’re not. They think you’re flirting with others, looking at the opposite sex, and having affairs. Or they don’t like how you spoke to “that person” for too long.

They Withdrawal Their Affection

An abusive sign is when the relationship’s affection and intimacy is on their terms. They also might become uninterested in affection, or it only comes with conditions.

They Lack Communication

You can’t talk to them without them getting angry. They also never want to hear what you have to say.

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They Make Threats

If they make threats of suicide, or if they threaten your life if you leave, they’re definitely manipulating you. This is just another form of abuse.

They Commit Adultery

They may conduct provocative behavior with the opposite sex. However, they could also expect you to allow them to sleep with other people, but deny you the same “benefit”.

They Are Sarcastic

They use an unpleasant tone of voice, sometimes even being negatively sarcastic towards you.

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They Are Moody

They have an array of volatile emotions, It seems to swing from extremes, for no apparent reason. Somehow they find a way to blame you for their mood, when it’s not even your fault.

They Only Love You If…

Their love comes with conditions, “I love you but…” or “I will love you if…” Real love is unconditional. It doesn’t verge into abusive territory like this.

In Conclusion

When someone is in an abusive relationship, silence, fear and shame consumes them. This could be your relationship, especially if you recognize any of those listed qualities in your partner. As much as you want to speak up, you can’t. But you want to, more than anything you want to. So ask yourself the question: “Do I think I know someone who is being abused?” If so, ask them to take a seat and have a chat. Simply ask them, “Are you okay?” Their answer could change their world.

Once we empower people to use their emotional guidance system and how to deal with their emotions, the less we will see domestic violence, as well as sexual and emotional abuse in society. The most important thing is to break the silence and open up about our experience, so we can help others.

About Renée Mayne

Renée Mayne came from a life of physical abuse and transformed it into one that is filled with love. She lives life wide-awake.

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7 Things About Love And Life I Wish My Daughters Knew Earlier Than I Did 10 Signs Of An Abusive Partner In A Relationship Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship 5 Reasons Why Misunderstanding Mindfulness & Spirituality Is Robbing People Of Their Happiness.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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