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8 Struggles Only Parents With Difficult Kids Would Understand

8 Struggles Only Parents With Difficult Kids Would Understand

The excitement of having a child could wane when you are dealt with a child who breaks and stretches you. However, no one can ignore that there is beauty in being a parent. Whether you are pushed or not, every part of parenthood has to be accepted and appreciated! These are some things parents of difficult kids will understand.

They always feel responsible for the situation

They always believe they are at fault for their children being difficult. No matter how light people might try to paint the picture of their children’s troublesome nature, they know that it is something they will forever be stuck with. They think no one out there can understand their struggle except them.

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They will always receive advice from strangers

People are never short of advice for how they need to raise their kids. Most times, such advice is stern and solemn like, “Your child needs a really good spanking, so that they can learn what respect means.” It’s almost as if these people giving advice think you really do not know how to fulfill your job of parenting.

They are always your kids

It doesn’t matter how difficult they are, or how upbeat and tense they make you feel, they are still your kids. You will treat them the same way that other simple and respectful kids are treated. They are your responsibility, your excitement, and (sometimes) your pain, but you love them just the way they are.

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They receive sympathetic comments and glances

The truth is some people actually understand what you are going through. They have difficult children too. You’re not alone. They understand the challenge, terror, and pain your children may be causing you. They will be happy to give you a sad smile, or just scoff and look away while you continue to deal with the difficulties of making your child listen.

They understand the lines of success and failures

It is a success to be a parent, whether your kids are difficult or not. However, when you hear others term their roles as successful you feel your’s is more of a mixed blend. It is tough because parents of difficult kids deal more with failures of their children, rather than enjoying the success of being a parent. You have to get used to embracing failure as much as you embrace success.

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They learn every day

No parent learns harder or tougher than a parent with a difficult child. They are stuck with the attitude of always trying. They can’t quit. They just have to keep on going at their roles, whether it is in teaching, showing love, guiding, offering attention, and more. It is more of a continuous journey that doesn’t seem to end.

They will always compare themselves to others

It is hard not to envy other parents who have easy-going children. You wish your children were just like their’s. Parents of difficult children can get lost in their emotions. They might wish and hope that they were not in such shoes. Or they might want to be placed in a different and more positive situation instead.

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They are afraid of the future

They may not worry as much of the present, as they will of the future. They can handle the present the best way they can, but what about the future? They seem to ask a lot of questions regarding the future of their kids. They wonder, “What will become of their future?” In fact, they constantly live in dread of what their kids may turn out to be.

At the end of the day, being a parent is a proud thing. Difficult kids could become resolute, resilient, and determined. These are attitudes that could serve as strengths, when striving for success. It is important for us all to adjust our thinking and perception of difficult children. The world is a blend of all sorts, and they only add to this blend.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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