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11 Qualities That Women Should Crave Other Than Beauty

11 Qualities That Women Should Crave Other Than Beauty

From a young age, girls are surrounded by images and words that tell them they should focus on their physical beauty.

According to the Center for Media Literacy, we are exposed to over 2000 ads a day. Many of these are for products encouraging us to have longer eyelashes, poutier lips, less leg hair, bigger boobs and blonder hair. When you add this to the pressure of social media and wanting to “fit in”, it’s easy to see how girls grow up putting such an emphasis on physical beauty.

While there is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good, there are many other qualities that have much more permanent and lasting effects on our lives.

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These are the traits we want to demonstrate for the little girls watching us and embrace for our own happiness.

Here are 11 qualities that women should crave other than beauty:

1. You Are Brave and Courageous

There are few truly brave and courageous people in this world. Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears in order to help a friend, chase a dream or support your family takes guts. You will achieve more in life when you are willing to be brave.

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2. You Are Confident

When you are confident, you don’t need someone to call you “beautiful” to feel beautiful. You know your individuality is special and that shines through in your posture, words and actions. When you are confident, other people will want what you have.

3. You Show Kindness To Everyone

People want to feel that someone cares about them. When you smile at your waiter, give up your seat on the subway, remember a friend’s birthday or bring cookies to your neighbor who lives alone, you are making someone else feel important. We all need a little more of that in our lives.

4. You Are Physically Strong

If you’ve ever done a push-up, run a marathon, been through a Pilates class or pushed that double stroller up a hill, you know the power you feel from your own strength. Showing your kids and peers that you prioritize your health is much more awe-inspiring than putting on the right eye shadow in the morning.

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5. You Are Witty In Conversations

When you are at a party, would you rather hang out with the guy who has nothing to say or the guy who keeps you laughing and on your toes with interesting conversation and one-liners? Being witty means you are both smart and funny, two characteristics shown in surveys to be more important than physical beauty.

6. You Love Encouraging Others

Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” When you give others encouragement, you will become someone they enjoy turning to and feel supported by. Being a true friend and better person involves encouraging others.

7. You Are A Reliable Friend and Partner

When you are reliable, you do what you say you are doing to do when you say you are going to do it. You don’t change who you are at the drop of a hat. The biggest difference between close friends and acquaintances is their reliability. When you are reliable, people know they better step up their game because you are going to get things done. Showing up for your friends and loved ones means they will show up for you.

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8. You Are Honest

When you live and speak an authentic life, you are showing others you have nothing to hide or apologize for. You demonstrate that you are proud of yourself and the life you are living. Being honest in all of your relationships shows you respect both yourself and the people in your life.

9. You Know How To Be Resourceful

Resourcefulness is defined as the ability and creativity to cope with difficulties or unforeseen situations in your life. When you are driving down a deserted road and run out of gas, you will definitely want to be with a resourceful person. When you are resourceful, you get things done with what you have in front of you.

10. You Are Calm In Stressful Situations

Researchers at Caliper Talent Management recently wanted to find out if there are certain personality traits that are associated with women’s success in the workplace. They found that the more a woman is tolerant of the stress around her, the better she performs. When you are wiling to let go of control, stay calm and just go with the flow, you will be a better leader at work and in your families.

11. You Are Giving

You can be giving of your time, your thoughts, your money, your skills or your words. When you give without asking for anything in return, you show people you don’t need something from them to make the relationship valuable. You give simply because you want to.

Featured photo credit: Jakob Montrasio via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on September 30, 2020

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

Learning how to live a stress free life may seem impossible, but the truth is that there are specific things you can do to begin eliminating sources of stress.

No, it doesn’t look like a made-for-television movie. No, it doesn’t look like something only people with extra time and money can do. It looks like your life—but without any self-created stress triggers.

Here are 11 ways to help you live a stress-free life:

1. Stop Overanalyzing Situations That Haven’t Happened

The first step to living a stress-free life is to stop overanalyzing imaginary scenarios. It’s easy to spend time in the world of worst-case scenarios. People tend to cultivate this world for one of two reasons.

First, because if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then it won’t surprise you when it happens. Second, if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then you can do everything in your power to control the universe so the worst case never happens.

If that’s really the world you want to cultivate, then become a professional risk assessor. If not, then ask yourself how you are benefiting from continuing to live that way.

Does it make you feel better about yourself and your life? Does it make you want to leap out of bed in the morning, eager to embrace the worst-case scenario? Does it bring you joy or fulfillment?

If your answer to these three questions is no, then stop living in the future and bring yourself back into the present.

2. Don’t Take on Other People’s Problems

The whole advantage of other people having problems is that they aren’t your problems. When you frequently take on other people’s problems, you get into the habit of enabling.

Let’s get crystal clear about the definition of enabling: enabling is the art of continuing to take responsibility for other people, thereby disallowing their personal responsibility[1].

It is of no service to other people to take on their problems because they can’t/won’t/don’t know how to fix the problem.

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It is of service to empower others to take responsibility for themselves and their lives, to encourage, teach, and motivate others to address their own problems. So stop enabling, and start empowering.

3. Get Present in the Moment

Being present in the moment involves being in your body and feeling your feelings—two things that lots of folks actually don’t know how to do.

Ask yourself these two questions: What does fear feel like in your body? What are you afraid of?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions, you probably aren’t present in the moment. Being present involves vulnerability, humility, and openness[2].

How to live a stress free life by being present

    The past and the future stop being so relevant and intriguing when you’re able to get in your body and feel your feelings. When you can do these two things, you actually want to be in the present moment.

    To get started, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and watch your stress levels drop. Then, try these tips: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying.

    4. Focus on What You Have, Not What You Don’t

    The easiest way to stop focusing on what you don’t have is by not watching TV commercials. Marketing teaches us to focus on what we don’t have, and advertising campaigns spend millions of dollars convincing us that we must have what we don’t yet have.

    Can you think of a marketing campaign that teaches you to enjoy what you already have without buying something to enhance it? Odds are you can’t.

    In a world dictated by Super Bowl commercials and Facebook ads, it takes stalwart focus to recognize what you have more than what you don’t. If you want a stress-free life now, get stalwart, and stop letting other people dictate your focus.

    In order to do this, try cultivating a gratitude practice to help refocus your mind toward what is good in your life. You can get started with this guide.

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    5. Stop Surrounding Yourself With People Who Don’t Make You Happy

    Honestly, what kind of people do you really like to be around with? People who get you, who see you clearly, who accept your flaws and all; people you can be yourself with; people who have shared interests?

    How many of those people are in your life? What characteristics do all of the other people in your life have?

    If you find that the people in your life aren’t adding anything positive, it may be time to make some changes. If you find that other relationships you have are downright toxic, start working to cut out those relationships immediately.

    6. Find a Job That Makes You Feel Good

    You don’t have to stay at a job just because it pays the bills. Most people spend more time working than sleeping. The average person spends 40 to 80 hours a week—or 2,000 to 4,000 hours a year—working. That is a significant investment!

    If your best friend or child told you that they were going to spend 4,000 hours giving their emotional, mental, and physical energy to something (or someone) that wasn’t going to value them, give anything back to them, or pay them what they were worth, what advice would you offer? Give that same advice to yourself. You won’t be stress-free unless you don’t learn this[3].

    Here’re 11 Signs That You Should Leave Your Job.

    7. Only Take on What You Can Handle

    Busyness is an addiction. Slowing down can actually be terrifying because it causes you to notice that you have feelings that you now have time to feel.

    I get it.

    By the time I slowed down, I had decades of busyness under my belt. I went into a tailspin depression because I didn’t understand how to be in the right relationship with my own emotions.

    When I finally figured out that feelings are just feelings and allowing them to express themselves is healthy and natural, I stopped experiencing withdrawal from my addiction to busyness and started figuring out the pace of life that felt best for me.

    Remarkably, I discovered that I don’t actually like being busy. What will you discover about yourself?

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    8. Let Go of Grudges and Anger

    For me, it took 20 years of adulthood to figure out that holding on to grudges and anger only hurt me. Lucky for you, though, you can benefit vicariously from my experience just by reading one short paragraph!

    No one is holding your feet to the fire, demanding that you hold on to grudges and anger. The energy of anger slowly eats away at your body, mind, and spirit, until one day you wake up more resentful than optimistic.

    One day, people no longer want to be around you because the stink of negativity is oozing out of your pores. One day, you even get tired of hearing yourself get angry. And the person or people you are angry at or holding grudges against probably haven’t been affected at all.

    Who gets hurt the most in that process of repeating negative thoughts? You do.

    Some good advice for you here: How to Let Go of Resentment and Anger

    9. Stop Reliving Your Past

    To live a stress-free life, you have to stop reliving your past. I know it seems like fun to compare everything in your present to your past, and to experience the present through past-colored glasses, but it actually isn’t.

    When you wear past-colored glasses, you can’t truly experience the present for what it is. Your boyfriend or girlfriend gets compared to a list of expectations and failed relationships rather than recognized for the unique blessing they are in your life.

    Your boss gets compared to all the bosses who came before her/him. Your friends’ ability to parent gets compared to your parents’ ability to parent.

    People, including you, deserve to stand on their own past-free merit.

    10. Don’t Complain About Things You Can’t Change

    There are always going to be people elected into office whom you don’t like, taxes that you don’t want to pay, idiot drivers who refuse to move out of the left-hand lane, and a person ahead of you in the check-out line who won’t stop chatting with the clerk.

    The great benefit of being human is that we get to experience all of what life offers us. To live stress-free is to learn to deal with this fact.

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    Dwelling on your frustration with something that can’t be changed doesn’t do anything other than drag you down. You are the only person who will ultimately decide how to respond to what is.

    11. Stop Living Through Other People’s Lives

    Someone else’s life is not your life. Your life is your life.

    What that means is you get to live your life in the way you want. You get to make ridiculous mistakes, take leaps of faith, and stuff things inside your handbag of fear just as much as the next person.

    Going through stuff is the whole great messy adventure of being human! Being alive and living life is terrifying and glorious and everything in between.

    Stop living through social media, trying to soak in all of the experiences everyone else is having. Focus, instead, on what it feels like to be you in this moment. You may find you like it.

    Final Thoughts

    An astounding thing happens when you reduce stress and anxiety, get into a relationship with your body, mind, and spirit, and just be yourself without judgment.

    Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You begin to live in each moment, and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy.

    You move fluidly, steadily, calmly, and gratefully. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born through improved mental health. And this is how you live a stress-free life.

    More Tips on How to Live a Stress-Free Life

    Featured photo credit: Drew Coffman via unsplash.com

    Reference

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