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10 Struggles Only Insecure People Understand

10 Struggles Only Insecure People Understand

Have you ever felt insecure? By definition the word refers to a lack of self-confidence and an anxiety or uncertainty about oneself. Everyone has experienced days when they didn’t quite feel at their prime, and they looked at other people and wished they could be like them. Maybe they wished they could be that person with the longer legs, or bigger biceps, greater mathematical ability, or more money.

To some people these feelings are short-lived, self esteem returns and good days happen as often as the bad. Unfortunately, for other people, most days are insecure days. There are a few struggles only these kinds of insecure people will understand, and here are a few of them:

1.) You find embarrassing moments in front of random people unbearable

Tripping over in public isn’t a big deal to most people. No one knows you, and if anyone did see you, you’ll most likely never see them again anyway. However to an insecure person, this event could ruin the rest of their day, or even the rest of their week. Because of this it becomes very difficult for them to wake up optimistic, since from sunrise to sundown, they’re going to be thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong.

2.) You believe your mirror is the enemy

An insecure person feels uncomfortable in their own skin. Most wish they could be someone else; maybe someone more talented, prettier, skinnier, taller, more confident, or smarter. Their list of perceived imperfections is endless. To a person who is so unhappy within themselves, just looking in the mirror everyday is enough to upset them.

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3.) You never believe compliments

To an insecure person, everyone has an ulterior motive. This paranoia makes it difficult to accept compliments for what they are. The thoughts running through your mind are: “Why would they say that?” or “What do they want from me?”

It is difficult to accept compliments when a person is always suspicious as to why a person is being kind to them.

4.) You believe everything is a competition

It is very easy to become obsessive when you’re insecure, and suddenly every little thing in life becomes a competition. In addition to this, it is difficult for two insecure people to get along. One person will always try to position themselves above the other person in some way, and this can be very problematic.

It would not be surprising to see two insecure people arguing about who has a tougher job, simply because they want to be different and superior to the other person.

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5.) You find trying new things terrifying

Routine activities can be stressful enough, never mind trying new things. Insecure people have an immense fear of failure and embarrassment, and with trying new activities, there is a high chance of both these fears becoming a reality.

So when it comes to beginning new relationships, starting a new career or moving to a new town, things can get very uncomfortable for someone with insecurity.

6.) You annoy people with your negativity

It’s a sad reality but insecure people often annoy people with their negativity even without intending to. It’s hard to understand an insecure person’s logic and it becomes frustrating when no matter how much you try to uplift them, they still remain as pessimistic as ever.

But give them a break, it’s not easy for them to live with insecurity.

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7.) You’re paranoid about gossip

An insecure people will see a group of people talking and laughing and despite their best efforts, their first assumption is that they are the subject of gossip- even if they are assured otherwise. These people care a lot about what people think of them, but that’s not always a bad thing, right?

8.) You present a false exterior

Insecure people aren’t happy with the way they are, so it’s fair for them to assume that people won’t like who they really are either. This can drive them to put on a daily act, being someone who they think others want them to be. Imagine how exhausting it would be to act like a completely different person in front of everyone everyday.

9.) You find it hard to be honest

Insecure people will find it difficult to be honest for several reasons. For example, they will often say things that are untrue to impress other people, so others will have a higher opinion of them. Or they will tell a lie to hide something about themselves they find undesirable. Whatever the case, it is hard to be honest with others when you can’t even be honest with yourself.

10.) You find it hard to remember that insecurity can impact everyone

“You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent… Or [think[ that you’re boring and they’re going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing.” – Meryl Streep

“… [I] went to a shrink once. When I was about twenty-three I was very unhappy and, yes, self-obsessed and insecure.” – Helen Mirren

“I still doubt myself every single day. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear.” – Will Smith

Even the big names are not immune to insecurity. It may surprise you that even celebrities are prone to feeling insecure. Living in stressful environments where every movement is monitored and criticized by the public can take a toll on anyone, and insecurity is a familiar feeling for most stars.

Featured photo credit: teenage confusion via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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