Have you ever felt insecure? By definition the word refers to a lack of self-confidence and an anxiety or uncertainty about oneself. Everyone has experienced days when they didn’t quite feel at their prime, and they looked at other people and wished they could be like them. Maybe they wished they could be that person with the longer legs, or bigger biceps, greater mathematical ability, or more money.
To some people these feelings are short-lived, self esteem returns and good days happen as often as the bad. Unfortunately, for other people, most days are insecure days. There are a few struggles only these kinds of insecure people will understand, and here are a few of them:
1.) You find embarrassing moments in front of random people unbearable
Tripping over in public isn’t a big deal to most people. No one knows you, and if anyone did see you, you’ll most likely never see them again anyway. However to an insecure person, this event could ruin the rest of their day, or even the rest of their week. Because of this it becomes very difficult for them to wake up optimistic, since from sunrise to sundown, they’re going to be thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong.
2.) You believe your mirror is the enemy
An insecure person feels uncomfortable in their own skin. Most wish they could be someone else; maybe someone more talented, prettier, skinnier, taller, more confident, or smarter. Their list of perceived imperfections is endless. To a person who is so unhappy within themselves, just looking in the mirror everyday is enough to upset them.
3.) You never believe compliments
To an insecure person, everyone has an ulterior motive. This paranoia makes it difficult to accept compliments for what they are. The thoughts running through your mind are: “Why would they say that?” or “What do they want from me?”
It is difficult to accept compliments when a person is always suspicious as to why a person is being kind to them.
4.) You believe everything is a competition
It is very easy to become obsessive when you’re insecure, and suddenly every little thing in life becomes a competition. In addition to this, it is difficult for two insecure people to get along. One person will always try to position themselves above the other person in some way, and this can be very problematic.
It would not be surprising to see two insecure people arguing about who has a tougher job, simply because they want to be different and superior to the other person.
5.) You find trying new things terrifying
Routine activities can be stressful enough, never mind trying new things. Insecure people have an immense fear of failure and embarrassment, and with trying new activities, there is a high chance of both these fears becoming a reality.
So when it comes to beginning new relationships, starting a new career or moving to a new town, things can get very uncomfortable for someone with insecurity.
6.) You annoy people with your negativity
It’s a sad reality but insecure people often annoy people with their negativity even without intending to. It’s hard to understand an insecure person’s logic and it becomes frustrating when no matter how much you try to uplift them, they still remain as pessimistic as ever.
But give them a break, it’s not easy for them to live with insecurity.
7.) You’re paranoid about gossip
An insecure people will see a group of people talking and laughing and despite their best efforts, their first assumption is that they are the subject of gossip- even if they are assured otherwise. These people care a lot about what people think of them, but that’s not always a bad thing, right?
8.) You present a false exterior
Insecure people aren’t happy with the way they are, so it’s fair for them to assume that people won’t like who they really are either. This can drive them to put on a daily act, being someone who they think others want them to be. Imagine how exhausting it would be to act like a completely different person in front of everyone everyday.
9.) You find it hard to be honest
Insecure people will find it difficult to be honest for several reasons. For example, they will often say things that are untrue to impress other people, so others will have a higher opinion of them. Or they will tell a lie to hide something about themselves they find undesirable. Whatever the case, it is hard to be honest with others when you can’t even be honest with yourself.
10.) You find it hard to remember that insecurity can impact everyone
“You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent… Or [think[ that you’re boring and they’re going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing.” – Meryl Streep
“… [I] went to a shrink once. When I was about twenty-three I was very unhappy and, yes, self-obsessed and insecure.” – Helen Mirren
“I still doubt myself every single day. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear.” – Will Smith
Even the big names are not immune to insecurity. It may surprise you that even celebrities are prone to feeling insecure. Living in stressful environments where every movement is monitored and criticized by the public can take a toll on anyone, and insecurity is a familiar feeling for most stars.
Featured photo credit: teenage confusion via flickr.com