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10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Martial Artist

10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Martial Artist

Martial arts aren’t all about breaking boards and breaking arms; martial artists have also been known to break their own fair share of hearts. But don’t let that stop you, because men and women who practice martial arts offer a ton of great benefits to potential partners. Want to find out more about why your next lover should be a black belt, or at least halfway there?

1. They have high confidence levels.

People who engage in regular martial arts often carry themselves a little differently. Look at guys like Steven Seagal, Bruce Lee, or pretty much any current UFC champ and you will realize something right away: these guys are oozing with confidence. Whether you are a female or a male, there are few things more attractive than being with a person who is supremely confident that they can take care of themselves and protect those that they care about.

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2. They have small or nonexistent egos.

Arrogance is actually the result of low self-confidence and insecurity. Sure, the wanna-be tough guy walking around flexing at the gym looks “tough,” but he is probably just a scared little boy inside of a balloon suit. When a person is unsure of who they are and lacks self-confidence, they often walk around puffing out their chest, criticizing others, and acting tough in order to project an image of confidence. Someone with confidence is attractive, but someone with an ego twice the size of Texas is just about as annoying as a rock in your shoe. Ego is the false projection of confidence, and it almost always leads to bad things.

3. They are fit.

People involved in the martial arts are almost always physically fit. I know from being a competitor at some of the largest Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitions in the world that most of the people walking around are sporting six-packs and bulging biceps. Personally, I trained up to 6 hours a day at times, and with that much working out, you are bound to get fit in the process. Martial artists often treat their bodies like a temple and avoid things that will detract from their health. They are always active in some way or another.

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4. They are better lovers.

Not only do martial artists have better stamina from being in great shape, but people in the martial arts are often much more in touch with their bodies, more balanced, more flexible, and more in tune with the bodies and reactions of others. I am going to keep this article PG, so I will let your imagination run wild with that one for moment.

5. They have more discipline.

Martial artists not only discipline their bodies through drilling, hard exercise, and physical conditioning, but they also learn to control their minds as well. Martial artists must develop the power to force themselves to do things that are uncomfortable. They must continue to train even when they are tired, sore, or getting beaten. A true warrior of the martial way has to learn to be in control of themselves at all times, and it helps them to develop tremendous personal discipline. Are you bad with diet, budget, or setting goals? Find a martial artist. They can probably teach you a thing or two.

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6. They are better listeners.

Martial arts require a high degree of concentration and focus in order to excel at practice or competition. The same powers of concentration that allow a warrior to seize an arrow out of the air or dodge a punch will allow your new partner to listen to your problems, offer solutions, and be a shoulder to lean on in tough times.

7. They are happier people.

Have you ever wanted someone who just rolls with the punches, passes through life, and encourages you to smile all the time? A martial artist is a person who often takes things lightly, learns to exist within the flow of life, and finds joy in the small and passing moments that many of us take for granted. Who doesn’t want to date someone who is happy? More confidence, less ego, less anger, and a quiet dedication to the body and the mind: all these things make a martial artist a happier person.

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8. They are gentle and slow to anger.

The martial way is not one of violence and bloodshed, but rather one of patience, virtue, and peace. A true warrior doesn’t go around provoking fights or arguments, but avoids confrontation and fighting when possible. I don’t know about all martial artists, but I know my instructor won’t even kill a spider that walks out onto the mat, and I am the same way. I am not saying that a martial artist is someone to walk on, just that they probably are the last person that will start screaming in your face.

9. They are honest.

The martial way is one of humility, respect, and honesty. Martial artists often dedicate their lives to cultivation of their spirits, bodies, and minds, and along with these pursuits, they must learn to develop strong core values and beliefs. A person with integrity—a clear focus on what they believe and value—is much more likely to be honest than a person who has no purpose in life.

10. They are dedicated, faithful, and loyal.

Martial artists often devote their lives to those closest to them. Along with their strong values comes a strong sense of belonging and responsibility for and towards those they love and care about. A martial artist sees him or herself as a tool to protect honesty, integrity, wisdom, truth, and all things good in the world. If a lifelong practitioner of the martial arts tells you they want to be with you forever, you better believe they mean it. They will probably stick with you through fights, adversity, challenges, temptations, and anything else life can throw your way.

Featured photo credit: Fighter Portrait by Jorge Gonzalez via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

  • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
  • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
  • Answer a few Superpower Questions

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

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This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

  • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
  • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
  • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.

Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

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“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

Final Thoughts

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

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