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10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Martial Artist

10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Martial Artist

Martial arts aren’t all about breaking boards and breaking arms; martial artists have also been known to break their own fair share of hearts. But don’t let that stop you, because men and women who practice martial arts offer a ton of great benefits to potential partners. Want to find out more about why your next lover should be a black belt, or at least halfway there?

1. They have high confidence levels.

People who engage in regular martial arts often carry themselves a little differently. Look at guys like Steven Seagal, Bruce Lee, or pretty much any current UFC champ and you will realize something right away: these guys are oozing with confidence. Whether you are a female or a male, there are few things more attractive than being with a person who is supremely confident that they can take care of themselves and protect those that they care about.

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2. They have small or nonexistent egos.

Arrogance is actually the result of low self-confidence and insecurity. Sure, the wanna-be tough guy walking around flexing at the gym looks “tough,” but he is probably just a scared little boy inside of a balloon suit. When a person is unsure of who they are and lacks self-confidence, they often walk around puffing out their chest, criticizing others, and acting tough in order to project an image of confidence. Someone with confidence is attractive, but someone with an ego twice the size of Texas is just about as annoying as a rock in your shoe. Ego is the false projection of confidence, and it almost always leads to bad things.

3. They are fit.

People involved in the martial arts are almost always physically fit. I know from being a competitor at some of the largest Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitions in the world that most of the people walking around are sporting six-packs and bulging biceps. Personally, I trained up to 6 hours a day at times, and with that much working out, you are bound to get fit in the process. Martial artists often treat their bodies like a temple and avoid things that will detract from their health. They are always active in some way or another.

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4. They are better lovers.

Not only do martial artists have better stamina from being in great shape, but people in the martial arts are often much more in touch with their bodies, more balanced, more flexible, and more in tune with the bodies and reactions of others. I am going to keep this article PG, so I will let your imagination run wild with that one for moment.

5. They have more discipline.

Martial artists not only discipline their bodies through drilling, hard exercise, and physical conditioning, but they also learn to control their minds as well. Martial artists must develop the power to force themselves to do things that are uncomfortable. They must continue to train even when they are tired, sore, or getting beaten. A true warrior of the martial way has to learn to be in control of themselves at all times, and it helps them to develop tremendous personal discipline. Are you bad with diet, budget, or setting goals? Find a martial artist. They can probably teach you a thing or two.

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6. They are better listeners.

Martial arts require a high degree of concentration and focus in order to excel at practice or competition. The same powers of concentration that allow a warrior to seize an arrow out of the air or dodge a punch will allow your new partner to listen to your problems, offer solutions, and be a shoulder to lean on in tough times.

7. They are happier people.

Have you ever wanted someone who just rolls with the punches, passes through life, and encourages you to smile all the time? A martial artist is a person who often takes things lightly, learns to exist within the flow of life, and finds joy in the small and passing moments that many of us take for granted. Who doesn’t want to date someone who is happy? More confidence, less ego, less anger, and a quiet dedication to the body and the mind: all these things make a martial artist a happier person.

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8. They are gentle and slow to anger.

The martial way is not one of violence and bloodshed, but rather one of patience, virtue, and peace. A true warrior doesn’t go around provoking fights or arguments, but avoids confrontation and fighting when possible. I don’t know about all martial artists, but I know my instructor won’t even kill a spider that walks out onto the mat, and I am the same way. I am not saying that a martial artist is someone to walk on, just that they probably are the last person that will start screaming in your face.

9. They are honest.

The martial way is one of humility, respect, and honesty. Martial artists often dedicate their lives to cultivation of their spirits, bodies, and minds, and along with these pursuits, they must learn to develop strong core values and beliefs. A person with integrity—a clear focus on what they believe and value—is much more likely to be honest than a person who has no purpose in life.

10. They are dedicated, faithful, and loyal.

Martial artists often devote their lives to those closest to them. Along with their strong values comes a strong sense of belonging and responsibility for and towards those they love and care about. A martial artist sees him or herself as a tool to protect honesty, integrity, wisdom, truth, and all things good in the world. If a lifelong practitioner of the martial arts tells you they want to be with you forever, you better believe they mean it. They will probably stick with you through fights, adversity, challenges, temptations, and anything else life can throw your way.

Featured photo credit: Fighter Portrait by Jorge Gonzalez via flickr.com

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1 5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude 2 9 Ways to Prepare for Change and Live Your Dream Life 3 7 Steps to Start Living Your Dream Life Right Now 4 How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want 5 What Happiness Is and Is Not: The True Meaning of Being Happy

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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