Advertising
Advertising

12 Signs You’ve Found Your Once In A Lifetime Friend

12 Signs You’ve Found Your Once In A Lifetime Friend

Have you found your once in a lifetime friend? Friends and best friends will come and go, but your once in a lifetime friend will be there forever, and they will change your life for the better.

You’re inseparable and you love each other – here are 12 signs with which you can confirm that you’ve found your once in a lifetime friend.

1. You Have No Filter With Each Other

You both know each other’s grossest, most embarrassing stories, so you can be 100% open with each other. You know what they have for tea last night, and they know about the time you wet yourself when you were five.

Advertising

2. They Always Have Your Back

Seriously, always. They never upload unflattering pictures of you to Instagram, and they always defend you – even when you’re not there. If you’re having a down day, they will sympathetically listen while you vent, and they are always up for a night out when you’re in a good mood.

3. You Have A Song

Forget couples with their cheesy, romantic songs; you and your BFF have your own awesome upbeat song, and every time it comes on you both get up and dance until you’re sweating.

4. You Have The Exact Same Sense Of Humour

You laugh at the same TV shows and Youtube videos, and sometimes you catch yourself wondering why the two of you don’t have your own comedy show – you know it would definitely be hilarious.

Advertising

5. You Don’t Need to Knock On Their Door

You and your lifetime friend have known each other for so long, it would actually be weird if you knocked on their door. You just walk right in and help yourself to some food from the fridge. You even have a spare key – you know, just in case you get to their house before they are home.

6. You Don’t Have To Make An Effort With Each Other

You have seen your best friend hungover in PJs more times than you’ve seen them in an expensive outfit on a night out. You don’t have to make an effort with each other anymore – so neither of you ever do.

7. You Both Miss Each Other If You Don’t Talk For A Few Days

Normally, you talk to your bestie every day, so it feels super weird whenever you don’t talk for a while. If your best friend goes travelling, you can guarantee that they will Skype you more than their family. After all, you NEED to know if they are eating well and making friends. You just want to make sure that they are okay – that’s normal, right?

Advertising

8. You Share The Same Enemies

If someone has a problem with your bestie, you have a problem with them. How could anyone dislike your awesome friend?! After all, you know your friend has a great taste in people, so if they don’t like someone they must be pretty terrible.

9. They Are Totally Honest With You

If you’re worried your outfit looks bad, you always go to your once in a lifetime friend, because you know no-one else will be as honest with you. They are more than happy to tell you if you look bad, which you appreciate – honesty is key.

10. You Can Communicate Without Talking

You have known each other for so long that words are no longer necessary – you can have full blown conversations with each other just using facial expressions. This is particularly useful if there is a mutual enemy around.

Advertising

11. They Always Have Time To Talk To You – Even At 2AM

This is the one person who you don’t feel bad about calling if you’re having a life crisis, even if it is the early hours of the morning. No matter what, they are always there for you with great advice and a shoulder to lean on.

Another reason you don’t feel bad about calling them at 2AM is because they have done it to you, too – multiple times.

12. You Know You Are Friends Forever

As soppy as it may sound, you know that they will still be your best friend, no matter what happens. You don’t worry about them moving away or getting married – you know you will still be making each other laugh when you both have grandchildren.

Can you think of any other signs that you have found your once in a lifetime friend? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

10 Health Benefits Of Avocado If You Feel Trapped, Do These 9 Things To Take Your Life Back If You Feel Trapped, Do These 9 Things To Take Your Life Back This List of 50 Low-cost Hobbies Will Excite You Daily Routine of Successful People That Will Inspire You to Achieve More 15 Inspirational Weekend Activities to do by Yourself

Trending in Communication

1 Why Am I So Sad? 9 Possible Causes You Shouldn’t Ignore 2 How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace 3 10 Things That Even You Can Do to Change the World 4 5 Ways to Get Out of a Bad Mood (Backed by Psychology) 5 How a Gratitude Journal Can Drastically Change Your Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

We all crave constructive feedback. We want to know not just what we’re doing well but also what we could be doing better.

However, giving and getting constructive feedback isn’t just some feel-good exercise. In the workplace, it’s part and parcel of how companies grow.

Let’s take a closer look.

Why Constructive Feedback Is Critical

A culture of feedback benefits individuals on a team and the team itself. Constructive feedback has the following effects:

Builds Workers’ Skills

Think about the last time you made a mistake. Did you come away from it feeling attacked—a key marker of destructive feedback—or did you feel like you learned something new?

Every time a team member learns something, they become more valuable to the business. The range of tasks they can tackle increases. Over time, they make fewer mistakes, require less supervision, and become more willing to ask for help.

Boosts Employee Loyalty

Constructive feedback is a two-way street. Employees want to receive it, but they also want the feedback they give to be taken seriously.

If employees see their constructive feedback ignored, they may take it to mean they aren’t a valued part of the team. Nine in ten employees say they’d be more likely to stick with a company that takes and acts on their feedback.[1]

Strengthens Team Bonds

Without trust, teams cannot function. Constructive feedback builds trust because it shows that the giver of the feedback cares about the success of the recipient.

However, for constructive feedback to work its magic, both sides have to assume good intentions. Those giving the feedback must genuinely want to help, and those getting it has to assume that the goal is to build them up rather than to tear them down.

Promotes Mentorship

There’s nothing wrong with a single round of constructive feedback. But when it really makes a difference is when it’s repeated—continuous, constructive feedback is the bread and butter of mentorship.

Advertising

Be the change you want to see on your team. Give constructive feedback often and authentically, and others will naturally start to see you as a mentor.

Clearly, constructive feedback is something most teams could use more of. But how do you actually give it?

How to Give Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is tricky. Get it wrong, and your message might fall on deaf ears. Get it really wrong, and you could sow distrust or create tension across the entire team.

Here are ways to give constructive feedback properly:

1. Listen First

Often, what you perceive as a mistake is a decision someone made for a good reason. Listening is the key to effective communication.

Seek to understand: how did the other person arrive at her choice or action?

You could say:

  • “Help me understand your thought process.”
  • “What led you to take that step?”
  • “What’s your perspective?”

2. Lead With a Compliment

In school, you might have heard it called the “sandwich method”: Before (and ideally, after) giving difficult feedback, share a compliment. That signals to the recipient that you value their work.

You could say:

  • “Great design. Can we see it with a different font?”
  • “Good thinking. What if we tried this?”

3. Address the Wider Team

Sometimes, constructive feedback is best given indirectly. If your comment could benefit others on the team, or if the person whom you’re really speaking to might take it the wrong way, try communicating your feedback in a group setting.

You could say:

Advertising

  • “Let’s think through this together.”
  • “I want everyone to see . . .”

4. Ask How You Can Help

When you’re on a team, you’re all in it together. When a mistake happens, you have to realize that everyone—not just the person who made it—has a role in fixing it. Give constructive feedback in a way that recognizes this dynamic.

You could say:

  • “What can I do to support you?”
  • “How can I make your life easier?
  • “Is there something I could do better?”

5. Give Examples

To be useful, constructive feedback needs to be concrete. Illustrate your advice by pointing to an ideal.

What should the end result look like? Who has the process down pat?

You could say:

  • “I wanted to show you . . .”
  • “This is what I’d like yours to look like.”
  • “This is a perfect example.”
  • “My ideal is . . .”

6. Be Empathetic

Even when there’s trust in a team, mistakes can be embarrassing. Lessons can be hard to swallow. Constructive feedback is more likely to be taken to heart when it’s accompanied by empathy.

You could say:

  • “I know it’s hard to hear.”
  • “I understand.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

7. Smile

Management consultancies like Credera teach that communication is a combination of the content, delivery, and presentation.[2] When giving constructive feedback, make sure your body language is as positive as your message. Your smile is one of your best tools for getting constructive feedback to connect.

8. Be Grateful

When you’re frustrated about a mistake, it can be tough to see the silver lining. But you don’t have to look that hard. Every constructive feedback session is a chance for the team to get better and grow closer.

You could say:

  • “I’m glad you brought this up.”
  • “We all learned an important lesson.”
  • “I love improving as a team.”

9. Avoid Accusations

Giving tough feedback without losing your cool is one of the toughest parts of working with others. Great leaders and project managers get upset at the mistake, not the person who made it.[3]

Advertising

You could say:

  • “We all make mistakes.”
  • “I know you did your best.”
  • “I don’t hold it against you.”

10. Take Responsibility

More often than not, mistakes are made because of miscommunications Recognize your own role in them.

Could you have been clearer in your directions? Did you set the other person up for success?

You could say:

  • “I should have . . .”
  • “Next time, I’ll . . .”

11. Time it Right

Constructive feedback shouldn’t catch people off guard. Don’t give it while everyone is packing up to leave work. Don’t interrupt a good lunch conversation.

If in doubt, ask the person to whom you’re giving feedback to schedule the session themselves. Encourage them to choose a time when they’ll be able to focus on the conversation rather than their next task.

12. Use Their Name

When you hear your name, your ears naturally perk up. Use that when giving constructive feedback. Just remember that constructive feedback should be personalized, not personal.

You could say:

  • “Bob, I wanted to chat through . . .”
  • “Does that make sense, Jesse?”

13. Suggest, Don’t Order

When you give constructive feedback, it’s important not to be adversarial. The very act of giving feedback recognizes that the person who made the mistake had a choice—and when the situation comes up again, they’ll be able to choose differently.

You could say:

  • “Next time, I suggest . . .”
  • “Try it this way.”
  • “Are you on board with that?”

14. Be Brief

Even when given empathetically, constructive feedback can be uncomfortable to receive. Get your message across, make sure there are no hard feelings, and move on.

Advertising

One exception? If the feedback isn’t understood, make clear that you have plenty of time for questions. Rushing through what’s clearly an open conversation is disrespectful and discouraging.

15. Follow Up

Not all lessons are learned immediately. After giving a member of your team constructive feedback, follow it up with an email. Make sure you’re just as respectful and helpful in your written feedback as you are on your verbal communication.

You could say:

  • “I wanted to recap . . .”
  • “Thanks for chatting with me about . . .”
  • “Did that make sense?”

16. Expect Improvement

Although you should always deliver constructive feedback in a supportive manner, you should also expect to see it implemented. If it’s a long-term issue, set milestones.

By what date would you like to see what sort of improvement? How will you measure that improvement?

You could say:

  • “I’d like to see you . . .”
  • “Let’s check back in after . . .”
  • “I’m expecting you to . . .”
  • “Let’s make a dent in that by . . .”

17. Give Second Chances

Giving feedback, no matter how constructive, is a waste of time if you don’t provide an opportunity to implement it. Don’t set up a “gotcha” moment, but do tap the recipient of your feedback next time a similar task comes up.

You could say:

  • “I know you’ll rock it next time.”
  • “I’d love to see you try again.”
  • “Let’s give it another go.”

Final Thoughts

Constructive feedback is not an easy nut to crack. If you don’t give it well, then maybe it’s time to get some. Never be afraid to ask.

More on Constructive Feedback

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next