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12 Signs You’ve Found Your Once In A Lifetime Friend

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12 Signs You’ve Found Your Once In A Lifetime Friend

Have you found your once in a lifetime friend? Friends and best friends will come and go, but your once in a lifetime friend will be there forever, and they will change your life for the better.

You’re inseparable and you love each other – here are 12 signs with which you can confirm that you’ve found your once in a lifetime friend.

1. You Have No Filter With Each Other

You both know each other’s grossest, most embarrassing stories, so you can be 100% open with each other. You know what they have for tea last night, and they know about the time you wet yourself when you were five.

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2. They Always Have Your Back

Seriously, always. They never upload unflattering pictures of you to Instagram, and they always defend you – even when you’re not there. If you’re having a down day, they will sympathetically listen while you vent, and they are always up for a night out when you’re in a good mood.

3. You Have A Song

Forget couples with their cheesy, romantic songs; you and your BFF have your own awesome upbeat song, and every time it comes on you both get up and dance until you’re sweating.

4. You Have The Exact Same Sense Of Humour

You laugh at the same TV shows and Youtube videos, and sometimes you catch yourself wondering why the two of you don’t have your own comedy show – you know it would definitely be hilarious.

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5. You Don’t Need to Knock On Their Door

You and your lifetime friend have known each other for so long, it would actually be weird if you knocked on their door. You just walk right in and help yourself to some food from the fridge. You even have a spare key – you know, just in case you get to their house before they are home.

6. You Don’t Have To Make An Effort With Each Other

You have seen your best friend hungover in PJs more times than you’ve seen them in an expensive outfit on a night out. You don’t have to make an effort with each other anymore – so neither of you ever do.

7. You Both Miss Each Other If You Don’t Talk For A Few Days

Normally, you talk to your bestie every day, so it feels super weird whenever you don’t talk for a while. If your best friend goes travelling, you can guarantee that they will Skype you more than their family. After all, you NEED to know if they are eating well and making friends. You just want to make sure that they are okay – that’s normal, right?

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8. You Share The Same Enemies

If someone has a problem with your bestie, you have a problem with them. How could anyone dislike your awesome friend?! After all, you know your friend has a great taste in people, so if they don’t like someone they must be pretty terrible.

9. They Are Totally Honest With You

If you’re worried your outfit looks bad, you always go to your once in a lifetime friend, because you know no-one else will be as honest with you. They are more than happy to tell you if you look bad, which you appreciate – honesty is key.

10. You Can Communicate Without Talking

You have known each other for so long that words are no longer necessary – you can have full blown conversations with each other just using facial expressions. This is particularly useful if there is a mutual enemy around.

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11. They Always Have Time To Talk To You – Even At 2AM

This is the one person who you don’t feel bad about calling if you’re having a life crisis, even if it is the early hours of the morning. No matter what, they are always there for you with great advice and a shoulder to lean on.

Another reason you don’t feel bad about calling them at 2AM is because they have done it to you, too – multiple times.

12. You Know You Are Friends Forever

As soppy as it may sound, you know that they will still be your best friend, no matter what happens. You don’t worry about them moving away or getting married – you know you will still be making each other laugh when you both have grandchildren.

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Can you think of any other signs that you have found your once in a lifetime friend? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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