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15 Productivity Hacks For Stay-At-Home Moms

15 Productivity Hacks For Stay-At-Home Moms

Being a stay-at-home mom is far from easy. More often than not, unless you have a very good idea of how to make the most of your time, it can be quite chaotic and incredibly stressful. The thing to remember is that you need to stay motivated in order to be more productive, and being more productive will leave you some more free time to do the things that make you happy, which in turn helps you get through all the chores efficiently. So, let’s look at a number of great ways to boost your productivity, and make you a happier mom in the process.

1. Get up earlier

If you want to have a productive day, you need to get up a bit earlier. This way, you will certainly have more time for yourself. Use this time to take a shower, relax and prepare for the hard working day. Moreover, it happened to all of us, because we want to sleep more, immediately when we get up we start doing chores. This is really stressful and will only exhaust you. When you get up earlier, you will have time to drink coffee alone in a quiet environment, while your children are still asleep, and can then see everyone off to school with a lot less stress and drama. Try it out and you will soon realize that you are in a better mood and that all house chores seem a lot easier.

2. Get ready for the day – put some make up on

Stay-at-home moms have very demanding tasks, and opposite to common belief, they are always busy. As you are trying to manage all your obligations, you somehow never have time to do your hair and put on some makeup. So on the way to the supermarket or a shopping mall you are always nervous because your look is sloppy and you don’t have time to fix it. However, there is always a solution and all you need are waterproof mascara, hydrating foundation and some quality lipstick.

Purchase a quality foundation that will at the same time hydrate your skin and keep it healthy. By using quality products you will make sure that the makeup doesn’t negatively affect your skin and you will be able to have it till the evening.  Apply the makeup in the morning and it will certainly make you feel better. It will boost your confidence, and you will always be ready to go.

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3. Learn a 5 minute manicure

Make up will boost your confidence but don’t forget your hands. Since you have very little time and you need your nails to look good, you can learn a 5 minute manicure and have beautiful nails in no time. Soak your hands in the warm water, massage them with a scrub and remove dead skin cells. After that file your nails and apply top coat. This will give your nails a shiny look but also the protection they need.

4. Start your own blog

It is important to understand that you are not alone. You can share your experience with other moms all over the world and you can do that by creating your very own mom blog. You can write articles on important topics and you can ask or give advice to other stay-at-home moms. Moreover, if your blog becomes popular you can also earn some money.

5. Do exercises in the morning

Physical activity is very important, because as a stay-at-home mother, most of your time you spend standing and walking. Going to the classes can take a lot of your time, because you waste your time in the car and that time you can certainly use for something else such as going on a massage. When you get up do some exercises to stretch your muscles and prepare your body for the busy day full of house chores. If you are into yoga, take a few classes to learn how to properly perform a certain position, and then continue working out alone at your home. This will save you a lot of time, help prepare for the day and won’t make you tired.

6. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help

Once a month, it happens to all mothers that they have to do laundry, prepare meals, vacuum, iron clothes, wash dishes, do homework with children, take them to the playground – and all that in one day! When this happens, stay calm and hire a nanny or a maid. Whatever option you choose, they will help you go through the day. Being a mom is a full time job, so why not outsource one part of your tasks?

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7. Hunt for discounts

Saving money is often very difficult and not lot of people know how to achieve it. One of the best ways is buying on discounts. You will be amazed how much money you can actually save, if you just try this. It won’t give you millions but it will help you to save just enough.

8. Teach your kids to do chores

If your kids are old enough to learn how to do house chores, then do that – it is better to do some smaller chores like dusting, than spend that hour in front of their computer. They need to see what you do all day and realize that it is not easy as it seems. If you want to teach them to be responsible, you can put some new rules – everyone cleans their room. This can be applied only if your kids are old enough to dust and vacuum. On the other hand, if they are not, you can teach them to put away their toys on their own.

9. Find small opportunities to relax

Hard work can make you feel stressed and under pressure. This is why is very important to have a time just for yourself. In those small holes in your schedule, e.g. after making lunch, but before the kids get back from school, take a 15-30 minutes to relax your body and your mind with a nice hot bath and enjoy every moment. You certainly deserved it.

10. Join group classes

If you have a baby or a toddler, then the best way for your baby and you to socialize is to sign up for some classes. This way your baby will learn how to play with other children and you will be able to have semi-adult conversations with other moms. You will certainly learn a lot from other mom’s experiences and be prepared for every situation.

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11. Set a nap time or quiet time

Toddlers usually neglect your rules regarding the nap time and they tend to sleep whenever they want. In order for you to be able to rest, you need to teach them to sleep at certain time.

12. Teach your kids about independent play

You don’t need to play with your children all the time. If they learn independent play they will soon become more creative and you will have more time for your everyday activities.

13. Allow for a bit of chaos

Every mom’s nightmare is definitely the chaos in kid’s bedroom. You tidy up the room regularly but in no time the room is a complete mess once again. There are great cleaning hacks that can make the process easier, but don’t worry too much about this. Yes, they need to learn about responsibility and one way to teach them is to explain them that they need to take care of their stuff. In that way, you will have more time for yourself. Embrace the chaos and concentrate on other things.

14. Make a schedule

If you are having some difficulties organizing your day, try making a solid schedule. It will help you to finish all the chores and work on time, and it will be a lot easier for you to find more free time. Better organization will bring more productivity.

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15. Give your chores a soundtrack

Let your favorite song to become soundtrack of your chores. It doesn’t have to be just one but it will stimulate you and give you more positive energy. Everything seems to be much easier with a favorite song.

Being a mom is difficult job, make no mistake, but with a little bit of planing, a few tweaks to your schedule and some good habits, you can manage to get things done, and still have enough space to relax and work on yourself.

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Katarina Milovanovic

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Published on December 20, 2019

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Kate sits down to the dinner table and is eager to be a good girl and eat her dinner like her Mom and Dad want her to do. She is a sweet girl who wants the approval of her parents very much. It is not always easy though. During dinner, she stands up and starts to leave the table because she has to use the bathroom. Her Dad yells at her to sit back down. He tells her “we don’t just get up from the dinner table, we wait and ask to be excused after everyone is finished eating.” She begins to protest, wanting to explain that she needs to use the bathroom. Her father becomes more upset with her and yells at her that she is now talking back and she is not allowed to say another word at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating and then she can be excused.

Unfortunately for Kate, she can’t hold it, and she has a little accident because she is too fearful to say a word to her Dad. She doesn’t want to get yelled at anymore. She also knows that in her home, kids don’t have a say. What Mom and Dad say is like words carved into stone. They are strict beyond reason and they will not bend their rules. Therefore, Kate felt that she had no choice in the matter and when she could no longer hold it. There was nothing she could do about it.

Kate’s parents are an example of authoritarian parenting. They are strict, they are not emotionally engaged with their children, and they have very high expectations for their children. This type of parenting style leaves children feeling disconnected from their parents.

Kate wanted to communicate to her parents that she had to use the restroom, but she couldn’t even get her words out because her parents have such strict rules and demands of her. They did not care to hear what she had to say, because upholding their rules was more important to them. In their household, a child’s opinions and feelings do not matter.

This kind of strict parenting is not helpful for children. It can damage a child and leave them with low self-esteem, mental health issues, and doing poor academically among other problems cited by research in Parenting Science.[1]

What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?

In the 1960’s, a researcher and theorist by the name of Baumrind established the well known theory of parenting styles. Those four parenting styles, which are well known today, are authoritarian, authoritative, passive, and neglectful. For proactive parents that are trying hard to be good parents, they will usually lean toward either authoritarian or authoritative.

Authoritarian parenting involves strict parenting and high expectations for children. This can sound reasonable and even like good parenting. However, the strict parenting is often characterized by lack of compassion toward the child, little to no flexibility in rules, and complete control sought over the child’s behavior.

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Parents who use this parenting style believe it is their job to control the will and behavior of their children. An article in Psychology Today explains how authoritarian parents operate:[2]

Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority—the parent, the church, the teacher. Willfulness is seen to be the root of unhappiness, bad behavior, and sin. Thus, a loving parent is one who tries to break the will of the child.

For example, Jake has authoritarian parents. He wants to stay out past curfew on a school night because he has an opportunity to play in a jazz ensemble. He has been playing the saxophone for years and his ambition is to play in a college jazz ensemble.

With Jake still being in high school, his parents have a curfew. On school nights, it is 8:00 pm. This rule is instituted because his parents believe they need to ensure that Jake gets his school work done each night and that he needs to be well rested for school the next day. However, they don’t explain the why of their rules to him, they simply tell him that those are their rules. The jazz ensemble is practicing at 8:00 pm on a Thursday night and they have invited Jake to come play with them. It is a well known group and a huge opportunity for Jake.

Unfortunately, his parents say no. Their authoritarian parenting style is unwavering. He wants to discuss the opportunity and its importance, but his parents will not even entertain the conversation. They stop him mid-sentence and go over their rules again. There is no flexibility.

If Jake’s parents had been authoritative, they would have taken the time to hear out his case and would likely have granted him a later curfew for that one instance. They would see that, although they have a curfew, there are some instances when an opportunity is worth bending the rules. They would ask that he has his homework done before going to play with the group, and that he come home as soon as the practice was finished.

Authoritative parents have rules, but they are also flexible based on reasonable requests for exceptions. The authoritative parents are interested in how their children are thinking and feeling. Conversely, authoritarian parents are not likely to be interested in hearing their child’s thoughts and feelings, because they want to control the will of their child, not come to some middle ground.

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Here are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

  • They have strict rules that are unyielding and unwavering. This is often called “heavy handed parenting.”
  • They do not want input from the child about rules. They also feel that the child’s opinion does not matter, because they are the parent thus are the supreme authority over the child.
  • There are severe punishments when rules are broken.
  • There is an emotional disconnection between parent and child, because the parent is not interested in what the child thinks or feels. They are more interested in controlling the behavior of the child and having the child be compliant to their rules.
  • Children are expected to listen to their parents and follow the rules, there are no exceptions. A child that voices their objections will likely be punished for doing so.
  • The parents have high expectations, especially when it comes to compliance of their rules.
  • Parents expect that their child will be obedient and they do not need to explain the “why” of their rules and expectations. Compliance is expected out of sheer obedience, not because the child understands the reasons why the rules are set. Parents do not feel the need to explain why they set their rules.
  • There is a failure to have attached relationships between parent and child because of the overly dominant nature of authoritarian parents and their unwillingness to allow their children to have their own voice or free will.

Authoritarian parents are driven by a belief that they need to control their children. This means controlling their children’s behavior to an extreme. They are inflexible and don’t take into account the child’s desires, emotions, or well-being as being as important to enforcing rules to get the desired outcome. Authoritative parents on the other hand, seek to guide and direct their children instead of control. There is a distinction.

The Problems of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting has many negative consequences to children. Children who are raised in homes with extreme authoritarian parenting are more likely to become dependent on drugs and alcohol, have lower academic performance, and increased mental health issues according to Parenting for Brain.[3] Children who are raised with authoritarian parents are also more likely to have lower self esteem, inability to make decisive choices, and have social skills that are lacking.

When a child is raised to be taught day in and day out that their voice does not matter, then that child will likely be ingrained with that belief. They will not value their own opinions because they have been taught that what they think does not matter and is of no value. This leads to poor self-esteem and low self-worth.

If a child doesn’t believe that their thoughts matter, then what they think about themselves overall is going to be affected. They will not think highly of themselves or believe that what they think, say, or do is of value. This will contribute to low self-esteem long term.

Social skills will suffer because a child who comes from an authoritarian home will be trained to believe that nobody wants to hear their opinion and that relationships are based on compliance.

For example, Judy is raised in an authoritarian home. She is now 18 years old and has her first boyfriend. Anytime that he asks something of her, even if she internally disagrees, she feels that she is supposed to comply and do what he says in order for him to like her and continue wanting to be with her.

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He wants to have sex. She does not feel that she is ready, but she will not voice this to her boyfriend because she doesn’t think that her opinion will matter or that he will want to listen to what she is feeling. She goes along with sex in their relationship to be compliant. She doesn’t want to be punished by disagreeing with not having sex. He says that they are ready for that next step in the relationship and she fears that the consequence of saying no would be that he ends the relationship.

Therefore, she doesn’t even voice her thoughts or feelings on the situation because she doesn’t think they have value or will be heard anyway.

She has been taught by her parents that her opinions and feelings don’t matter. She has learned from the past 18 years with her parents that what matters most is that she is compliant. She gets along with her parents best when she is doing exactly what they want her to do. This is why she feels the need to do the same with her boyfriend.

Going along with his decisions, being compliant, and not voicing her feelings will keep the relationship going and avoid conflict or punishment. The ultimate punishment in her mind would be that he ends the relationship.

With her opinions never being valued by those who she has loved the most (her parents), she has learned that she should not voice her opinion if she wants to keep the other person in the relationship happy. In her mind, because of how she has been raised, compliance overrides all else, and her opinion is meaningless.

However, her boyfriend is not her parents. He is understanding and would want to know how she feels. He wants a long term relationship with her and he loves her so much. His true desire is for her to be happy. He would never want her to have sex if she wasn’t feeling the same way that he was feeling. He would gladly wait and would want to hear what she thinks and feels about taking their relationship to the next level.

Authoritarian parenting methods can inflict great harm on a child. The child becomes emotionally damaged because they grow up believing that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings do not matter. Instead they are taught that compliance and being obedient supersedes all else.

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The Solution

The solution is to move from authoritarian parenting methods to authoritative parenting practices.

Authoritative parenting has been deemed as the best parenting method by researchers, according to Psychology Today. Parents who use authoritative parenting methods have rules for their children, but they are not looking for blind compliance. They recognize that having a relationship with their child is of great importance and therefore valuing the child’s voice, opinions, and thoughts is important.

Authoritative parents seek to guide and direct their children, but they do not seek to control the will of their child.

Parenting Coach Plan explains the foundation of authoritative parenting as the following:[4]

Authoritative parenting can be described as a style of parenting that combines firm limits and clear boundaries with fair and consistent discipline. Authoritative parents are also nurturing, highly-involved, and willing to speak openly with their child regarding expectations and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations. Rules are enforced and fair consequences are put in place for when those rules are broken.

Children raised in authoritative homes follow the rules because they understand the “why” of the rules. They are also bonded to their parents because they are able to talk to their parents openly. This bond helps nurture a positive home environment and a two-way relationship that can last a lifetime.

To learn more about how to be an authoritative parent and how to discipline a child using this parenting method, check out my article:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

Reference

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