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9 Reasons You Can’t Resist Dating A Dreamer

9 Reasons You Can’t Resist Dating A Dreamer

Have you ever stopped to watch someone blow bubbles? These soapy bubbles are colorful and beautiful. Even though you know that all bubbles will burst in the end, you will still stop and follow each bubble to see where it goes.

Dating a dreamer is like watching bubbles float in the air. There’s something irresistible and enigmatic about dreamers that makes you stall for a moment. Why are dreamers so irresistible? Here are 9 reasons why you can’t resist dating a dreamer.

1. You can’t stop looking into their dreamy eyes.

There is something intriguing about a dreamer’s eyes. You can spend a lot of time getting lost in their eyes and still be fascinated by them. Through their beautiful eyes, you feel a deep connection with their souls, yet they still remain somewhat mysterious to you.

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2. You feel special around them.

When you date a dreamer, you finally know what it means to be special. Dreamers treat you like a prince or princess from the fairy tales. You will be loved because dreamers believe in love. Once they have decided that you are the one, they will fight for you despite all obstacles and challenges.

3. You always have surprises.

You never know what’s going on inside a dreamer’s head. They are full of surprises. Dating a dreamer means you will never have a boring date again and will soon forget what boring is. They are hopelessly romantic and they sure know how to surprise you when you least expected it. You won’t know where they will take you for a date or what they will give you next.

4. You have someone who believes in you.

Dreamers believe in the impossible. They see potential in everything, including you. If you have a dream, they will encourage and inspire you to take action. They are positive and optimistic not only towards their own dreams, but also towards yours too.

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5. You are amused by his absent-mindedness.

There is a certain cuteness and charm when dreamers get absent-minded. They might wear unmatched socks or shoes. They might search for an item that they already have with them. They might not be aware of what’s going on in their surroundings. It’s pure joy to look at them dream and live inside their own head.

6. You are dating more than one person.

Dreamers are imaginative. When you date a dreamer, it feels like you are dating more than one person. They can be naughty and fun, romantic and loving, intelligent and confident. They are everything you wish for in a partner. Dating a dreamer means you just bought a ticket to fantasy-land. You don’t get the best of both worlds. You get the best of all worlds.

7. You feel like a kid again.

Have you seen a kid fall down and cry, only to later get up on his feet and start laughing and having fun again? That’s what dating a dreamer is like. You momentarily forget what unhappiness is. Ask dreamers about their dreams, you will see a big kid with wide-opened eyes talking about his or her aspirations. Their positivity and kid-like excitement is infectious, making you feel like a kid again.

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8. You are blessed with endless creative solutions to your problems.

Dreamers may not seem to possess the conventional wisdom that people admire, but they are actually very creative and smart. In fact, with their heads in the clouds all the time, they are able to see solutions that most people normally won’t. They have visions beyond what currently exists. They also always find ways to improve your life and theirs.

9. You are dating someone who is potentially very successful.

For realists out there who think that dreamers are not worth dating because they wouldn’t be financially stable in the long run, you couldn’t be more wrong.

Yes, some dreamers never took off with their dreams. However, some of the most successful people in the world are dreamers. Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison are all dreamers.

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Without dreamers, there wouldn’t be any new inventions or progress. Dreamers don’t follow the crowd. Their ideas may not be the most popular at first. However, you won’t know what you have missed if you give up on a dreamer who has ambition.

Featured photo credit: Couple / Mo Riza via flickr.com

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Yong Kang Chan

Self-Help Author (Writes about Self-Compassion and Mindfulness)

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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