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12 Things Those Who Have A Strong Mom Will Understand

12 Things Those Who Have A Strong Mom Will Understand

I have a strong mom, and I feel blessed for it. Of course, there were times growing up when I wished she wouldn’t have been that way, but looking back, her strength as a parent has shaped me into the person that I am today. She always told us, “It’s a lot of hard work to be a good parent.” I didn’t know exactly what she meant until I had children of my own, but she’s right — being a good parent requires a lot of strength. She taught me many life lessons, and here are some of them.

Below are 12 things that only people with a strong mom would understand:

1. Doing things for other people isn’t always the best thing.

If we needed more ketchup at dinner, it didn’t even dawn on my sisters or me to ask my mom to get it for us. She would have looked at us like we had three heads and said, “Are your feet broken?” She made me realize that the world does not revolve around me. I don’t expect people to serve me. Instead, she taught me to take personal responsibility for my life.

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2. Strong people can admit when they are wrong.

My mom taught me that when you are so busy defending yourself and trying to prove that you are right, you don’t really do yourself any good. You can learn a lot from other people if you just listen. Of course, as teenagers, we don’t want to admit that we can actually learn from our parents. But not only do we learn from them, we can learn from everyone. You just have to set your ego aside long enough to make that happen.

3. We are all unique, special, and have our own life purpose.

Strong moms will acknowledge and teach you to love your uniqueness. Not everyone is born to be a supermodel. Or rocket scientist. Or a millionaire. Or even a mom. But everyone does have something unique and special to offer the world. A strong mom will not only make you realize that, she will help you figure out what your strengths are — even if you can’t. Then she encourages you to be the best you that you can be.

4. It’s okay to say no.

A lot of us are “people pleasers,” but a strong mom will tell you it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to say yes to things you don’t want to do! Being a “people-pleaser” doesn’t always make you happy . If you don’t really want to be the president of the PTO or run that marathon with your sister, don’t do it. I’m sure someone else will. Your sister will understand. Stay true to yourself as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else if you say no.

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5. It’s important to love yourself.

Your mom was the first person who loved you. A strong mom also shows you how much you are loved, and that you are worthy of love — especially self-love. It’s not egotistical to love yourself. In fact, it’s downright smart. The more you love yourself, the more love you can give to others.

6. It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes.

If you do nothing but give, and give, and give to other people, then your “tank” becomes empty. Eventually, your tank will run dry and you will not have anything left to give. A strong mom knows this and teaches us to take time out for ourselves to re-charge. Take that bath and sip your wine. Get that massage. Retreat to your room and read a good book. Have a girls’ night out. Whatever it takes to re-charge, go do it.

7. You are so much more than your body.

We live in a world that overvalues youth and beauty. The measure of a great person is not the number on the scale or of facial wrinkles. Strong moms know this and teach their children that they need to love their inner selves just as much, if not more, than their outer selves.

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8. It’s okay to walk away.

A strong mom knows that if a situation or a relationship isn’t serving your best interest (or the best interest of others), it’s okay to let it go. There is no reason to hold on to a “so-so” romantic relationship, job, friendship, etc. “just because.” Your life experiences should help you and other people learn and grow. But if it’s having the opposite effect, then it’s okay to walk away.

9. Never, ever, let yourself be disrespected.

As Dr. Phil always says, “You teach people how to treat you.” Strong moms teach their children to respect their parents, themselves, and everyone else in the world. Part of respecting yourself not letting anyone else disrespect you, to only tolerate kind behavior from others. If you find yourself in bad situation, then re-read #8 in this article.

10. Read people’s actions because that is how you see someone’s true self.

I had to learn this one the hard way. I’m sure my mom taught me this, but since her words and actions always matched, I just assumed everyone else’s did too. Instead of taking people’s words to heart, look at what they do. As the old saying goes… actions can speak louder than words.

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11. Keep your word.

Following #10, a strong mom teaches her children “If you say it … then do it.” Or, don’t say it. In other words, follow through with your actions. Your words are meaningless unless you back them up with your actions. Because after a while, no one will believe you if you don’t.

12. A parent’s job is to shape children into the best human beings possible.

I remember my mom always saying, “I don’t care if you like me. It’s not my job to be your best friend. It’s my job to be your mother.” That always stuck with me. And I think too many parents these days don’t say “no” to their children because they want their kids to like them. Strong moms know that if you do that, then your child will turn out to be a brat. The time to be friends with your children is when they are adults. And strong moms know that.

I am thankful I have a strong mom and I hope I am teaching my children how to be good parents some day, too. They will continue to bless the world for generations to come.

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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