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7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind

7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind

Mastering our thoughts can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding tools towards experiencing truly fulfilling lives. If you’re reading this, you probably already know that it’s possible to be the master of your own mind, but how often do you implement your phenomenal power do to so?

The quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives. That’s how important it is to encourage a disciplined mindset towards monitoring our thoughts and making sure we’re planting roses in our gardens of life, rather than toxins.

Here are 7 practical, easy to implement ways to stay on the exhilarating path to becoming the master of your own mind.

1. Become Best Friends With Your Emotional Guidance System

Your emotional guidance system is your biggest cheerleader on your path to being in control of your own mind. Not only do your emotions tell you when you’re on frequency with your highest and greatest good, they also tell you when you’ve strayed far away.

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The trick is to become consistently mindful of your emotions, before your thoughts have a chance to run with pre-conditioned ideas or negativity. Emotions can range from a general feeling of anxiety or nervousness, to outright anger; regardless, simply experiencing the emotion means it’s time to stop and evaluate your thoughts, before they gain momentum. This way, you can acknowledge and release emotions, rather than enhance them (unless they’re good ones), with unnecessary, thought-based worry and fear.

2. Listen To Your Body

Your body is a finely honed instrument, just waiting to advise you that your thoughts are taking you on a merry ride down into a bad mood. Of course, when you allow this, due to the attention you’re giving to negative thoughts, your external situation will begin to reflect those thoughts.

The first point of call is in your own body, in the form of a tug in your stomach, sweat on your forehead, a frown, a sudden headache, aching limbs or the beginning of an illness. If you’ve ignored your emotional guidance system, your body will give you another chance to reevaluate your thoughts and change your path. All you need to do is become mindful of it.

3. Find Your Own Stop Sign

You might choose to visualize an actual red sign with STOP written on it, or, to say it out loud. Whatever form your stop sign naturally takes, have it at the ready at all times to bring you back from your thoughts and into the present moment.

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This takes practice and time, however, once you’ve mastered it, your trusty stop sign will be instantly at the ready, as soon as your emotions and body give you the indication that your thoughts aren’t working in your best interest.

4. Think Of Words As Nutrition

We know that feeding our body nutritious food is important for our health, however words and images we allow to enter our minds are of equal, if not more, importance. The easiest way to monitor this is to stop watching things that irritate you on television. Eliminate any negativity from your Facebook feed. Reevaluate relationships in your life that often result in a lowering of your mood.

Whatever you consume, through images, words or actions, has the same effect on your thoughts, as food and drinks have on your body. So, next time you’re tempted to delve into a gossip session that could be hurtful to someone else, for example, understand that it’s the same as drinking three bottles of wine; you can’t escape the hangover.

5. Use Affirmations

Affirmations are the perfect way to remind yourself, on an hourly basis, to be the master of your own mind. Pin quotes, positive sayings and goals all over your house or office to give yourself the best chance at keeping track of your thoughts.

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Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder to stop the negative spiral of unnecessary thoughts in their tracks, before you start seeing the results of those thoughts in your experience.

6. Don’t Forget To Take Out The Trash

The outcome of consistently monitoring and switching your thoughts, is that you become increasingly aware of the rubbish hiding away, ready to leap out at you in a moment of unawareness. The beauty of this, is that you can confront long-held thoughts and beliefs to let them dissolve into nothingness, leaving you free to expand into originality.

This doesn’t mean over-analyzing or going back into past issues. It simply means acknowledging thoughts that no longer serve you, in order to change them to ones that do. Daily meditation is the single most effective method of silencing your mind and allowing the clearing process to take place.

You’ll know when you’ve been successful, because you’ll feel light, clear and a tiny new bud of bliss will have received enough light to break through towards expanding the overall awareness of your mind.

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7. Read Books From The Masters To Be A Master

There is an abundance of books out there to help you become aware of your thoughts, in order to change them. Here are two quotes to inspire you:

“Thinking is only a small aspect of consciousness. Thought cannot exist without consciousness, but consciousness does not need thought” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.

“Relax, let go, allow, and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment. Become an astute observer…judge less and listen more. Take time to open your mind to the fascinating mystery and uncertainty that we all experience.” – Wayne W. Dyer, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao

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Nicole Leigh West

Travel and Lifestyle Writer, Choreographer, Reiki Practitioner

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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