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7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind

7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind

Mastering our thoughts can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding tools towards experiencing truly fulfilling lives. If you’re reading this, you probably already know that it’s possible to be the master of your own mind, but how often do you implement your phenomenal power do to so?

The quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives. That’s how important it is to encourage a disciplined mindset towards monitoring our thoughts and making sure we’re planting roses in our gardens of life, rather than toxins.

Here are 7 practical, easy to implement ways to stay on the exhilarating path to becoming the master of your own mind.

1. Become Best Friends With Your Emotional Guidance System

Your emotional guidance system is your biggest cheerleader on your path to being in control of your own mind. Not only do your emotions tell you when you’re on frequency with your highest and greatest good, they also tell you when you’ve strayed far away.

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The trick is to become consistently mindful of your emotions, before your thoughts have a chance to run with pre-conditioned ideas or negativity. Emotions can range from a general feeling of anxiety or nervousness, to outright anger; regardless, simply experiencing the emotion means it’s time to stop and evaluate your thoughts, before they gain momentum. This way, you can acknowledge and release emotions, rather than enhance them (unless they’re good ones), with unnecessary, thought-based worry and fear.

2. Listen To Your Body

Your body is a finely honed instrument, just waiting to advise you that your thoughts are taking you on a merry ride down into a bad mood. Of course, when you allow this, due to the attention you’re giving to negative thoughts, your external situation will begin to reflect those thoughts.

The first point of call is in your own body, in the form of a tug in your stomach, sweat on your forehead, a frown, a sudden headache, aching limbs or the beginning of an illness. If you’ve ignored your emotional guidance system, your body will give you another chance to reevaluate your thoughts and change your path. All you need to do is become mindful of it.

3. Find Your Own Stop Sign

You might choose to visualize an actual red sign with STOP written on it, or, to say it out loud. Whatever form your stop sign naturally takes, have it at the ready at all times to bring you back from your thoughts and into the present moment.

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This takes practice and time, however, once you’ve mastered it, your trusty stop sign will be instantly at the ready, as soon as your emotions and body give you the indication that your thoughts aren’t working in your best interest.

4. Think Of Words As Nutrition

We know that feeding our body nutritious food is important for our health, however words and images we allow to enter our minds are of equal, if not more, importance. The easiest way to monitor this is to stop watching things that irritate you on television. Eliminate any negativity from your Facebook feed. Reevaluate relationships in your life that often result in a lowering of your mood.

Whatever you consume, through images, words or actions, has the same effect on your thoughts, as food and drinks have on your body. So, next time you’re tempted to delve into a gossip session that could be hurtful to someone else, for example, understand that it’s the same as drinking three bottles of wine; you can’t escape the hangover.

5. Use Affirmations

Affirmations are the perfect way to remind yourself, on an hourly basis, to be the master of your own mind. Pin quotes, positive sayings and goals all over your house or office to give yourself the best chance at keeping track of your thoughts.

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Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder to stop the negative spiral of unnecessary thoughts in their tracks, before you start seeing the results of those thoughts in your experience.

6. Don’t Forget To Take Out The Trash

The outcome of consistently monitoring and switching your thoughts, is that you become increasingly aware of the rubbish hiding away, ready to leap out at you in a moment of unawareness. The beauty of this, is that you can confront long-held thoughts and beliefs to let them dissolve into nothingness, leaving you free to expand into originality.

This doesn’t mean over-analyzing or going back into past issues. It simply means acknowledging thoughts that no longer serve you, in order to change them to ones that do. Daily meditation is the single most effective method of silencing your mind and allowing the clearing process to take place.

You’ll know when you’ve been successful, because you’ll feel light, clear and a tiny new bud of bliss will have received enough light to break through towards expanding the overall awareness of your mind.

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7. Read Books From The Masters To Be A Master

There is an abundance of books out there to help you become aware of your thoughts, in order to change them. Here are two quotes to inspire you:

“Thinking is only a small aspect of consciousness. Thought cannot exist without consciousness, but consciousness does not need thought” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.

“Relax, let go, allow, and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment. Become an astute observer…judge less and listen more. Take time to open your mind to the fascinating mystery and uncertainty that we all experience.” – Wayne W. Dyer, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao

More by this author

Nicole Leigh West

Travel and Lifestyle Writer, Choreographer, Reiki Practitioner

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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