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10 Reasons Kind People are Outstanding

10 Reasons Kind People are Outstanding

In a society in which we’re constantly bombarded with stories of crime, poverty, and war, kindness appears to be a dying personality trait. That simply isn’t true. Acts of kindness seldom make the evening news, but that doesn’t make them any less prevalent, or the people who perform them any less outstanding. Though they rarely get the credit they deserve, caring people deserve to be celebrated for many reasons.

1. They give us hope.

When we hear a story of a family over-tipping their waitress or donating their Christmas presents to a homeless shelter, our first reaction is usually “Faith in humanity: restored.” As I said, we’re so inundated with negative stories on the news and on our Facebook feeds that hearing of such positivity and kindness helps remind us that not everyone out there is awful. These people are the ones who keep the rest of us going, even on our toughest days.

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2. They lift others up.

Kind people lift others up in two ways. For one, they help people who have fallen on hard times, or have found themselves in bad situations. They also lift up those around them who are inspired by their efforts. Their actions reach much farther than the instant in which they are performed.

3. They are selfless.

Kind people rarely think of themselves. They are rewarded not by tangible objects, but by seeing joy in other people’s lives. In a world in which so many of us tend to focus on money or some other usable prize, kindhearted people are content knowing that their actions have made a profound impact on the life of someone in need.

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4. They don’t look for praise.

Not only do kind people not look for prizes, but they also rarely take credit for their actions. While those they have affected constantly dote out compliments and thank-yous, they usually respond with “It’s no big deal.” They’re simply kind by nature, and doing the right thing has always been innate to their behavior.

5. They provide for their loved ones.

Kind people will bend over backward for their family and friends. They might have to go out of their way and put some extra effort into a task, but they do it, knowing it will benefit their loved ones. They are the fathers who work late nights, or the mothers who are there to pick up their children every day from school. They all have other things they could be doing, but they put their own lives on the back burner so their families can thrive.

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6. They are productive.

Kind people are never sedentary. They keep going, no matter how tired they may be. We’ve talked about how kind people put others before themselves, and this includes when it’s inconvenient for them. Simply put, kind people feel a duty to their fellow man, and stop at nothing until they complete a task.

7. They aren’t takers.

Along with being productive, kind people are rarely consumers. They give and give, and usually don’t take anything back. These are the people who help humanity progress; rather than taking what others have created and using it up, they are always creating opportunities for themselves and others.

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8. They don’t judge others.

Kind people see everyone as equals, regardless of their circumstances. People who hold biases miss out on so many possible connections when they shut others out. Kind people don’t do this; they accept everyone who comes into their lives, in search of a common thread that may lead to a long-lasting friendship.

9. They’re role models.

Kind people are the ones we all look up to. There are definitely times that even the kindest of people feel down, but they’ll never let you know it. They sometimes seem like superheros, since they’re always “on” no matter how tough their current circumstances may be. They inspire us to be the person we know we can be if we put our all into every aspect of our lives.

10. Their acts are contagious.

Being kind sets off a chain reaction. A young boy helps a man pick up his papers that flew all over the sidewalk; the man stops and fixes a woman’s flat tire for her; the woman later sees a homeless man begging for change and brings him a sub sandwich and cup of coffee; the homeless man brings it to his family for their first fulfilling meal in a week. One tiny act of kindness can cause a ripple effect that could be felt throughout the world. All it takes is one person to set the ball in motion.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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