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10 Reasons Why Emotionally Intelligent People Are More Likely to Be Successful

10 Reasons Why Emotionally Intelligent People Are More Likely to Be Successful

Emotional intelligence is a basis requirement for success. It doesn’t offer the same results as IQ, and that was why when observed, it became the quality that distinguished the performance of those with an average IQ and those with the highest IQs. Emotional intelligence is a combination of two skills—personal and social competence—that brings about excellent results for success.

This soft skill, although so important to personal and professional success, has failed to be discussed appropriately and expansively. The results it provides are essential to adapting and thriving critically in life. Here are some things that cause the success of emotionally intelligent people.

1. They can manage healthy relationships.

Managing healthy relationships means that you can remain positive and calm regardless of the situation you are in. During setbacks or emotional outbursts from the person you are dealing with, you do not react but are understanding that there is a reason for such negative emotions. Emotionally intelligent people can relate with other people’s challenges and upheavals and see beyond their present state. Thus, they can make the best out of whatever relationship they are in.

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2. They are curious about the way others approach their lives.

They want to know why people live the way they do. Learning is important to an emotionally intelligent person. That is why they would go out of their way to meet new people and try to spark something interesting from a random discussion.

3. They want to experience the moment.

To an emotionally intelligent person there is nothing to live for in the past. What has happened before is gone and even the future is a dream. They do well to focus on the present and how they can manage their present situations positively.

4. They are calm during tough situations.

While others panic and fret when faced with crisis, the emotionally intelligent person is balanced, confident and assured. They can manage tough situations because they demonstrate a leadership attitude of being confident. Thus they do not display a sense of insecurity or impulsiveness when pushed to take charge of a situation.

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5. They can understand other people’s emotion.

Emotionally intelligent people are active listeners and observers. They are not simply passive but have an understanding of different personality types. With such knowledge they can understand why people act the way they do.

6. They focus on personal development.

They know that they are not a finished product. They want to constantly improve every facet of their lives whether it is their career, relationships or character. Emotionally intelligent people know the reason why they have to make continuous progress and never be stagnated.

7. They are self aware.

They know their strengths and flaws and how to manage them both to become excellent at what they love doing. Not all things will make you great or are suitable for you; emotionally intelligent are focused on tiny bits of their lives that need to be polished and improved.

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8. They are not distracted by external influences.

It is not as if emotionally intelligent people are not attentive to what is said or done in their environment, whether from their peers, friends or relatives. Rather, listening to these things doesn’t define what actions they will take because they will ultimately search for purpose, solutions and consolidations from within.

9. They are emotionally tuned to everyone.

You can relate with people’s setbacks and you are deeply concerned about their problems or challenges. Even if they haven’t experienced such difficulties, they are not emotionally distant. They can perceive and understand other people’s struggles.

10. They can communicate their emotions.

They do not hold back or store any negative emotion. They are quick to channel how and what they feel to other people. Thus they are able to handle issues head on without giving a cause for delay or allowing such issues to linger on.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2019

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems, why?

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

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The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

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The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

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It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

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For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

More About Changing Habits

Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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