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10 Amazing Resilience-Building Hacks

10 Amazing Resilience-Building Hacks

Adversity, tragedy, loss, rejection, trauma, stress … living a life free of negatives such as these is entirely impossible. Yet, despite it all, we hear sayings such as ‘life goes on.’ While it may be true that life, itself does indeed go on, most people may not find going through life all that easy. Psychologists have coined the word RESILIENCE to describe the characteristic that creates the fiber, we, as humans have to be able to deal with the curve balls life throws our way and come through to the other side. Resilience-building is growing the elasticity that keeps us bouncing back in the face of adversity and negativity. We can find resilience in disadvantaged young children who survive abusive or neglectful upbringings and still manage to become productive, contributing members of society. We can find it in people who deal with chronic illness or experience severe setbacks. And we see it with elderly people who choose to push beyond the physical components of aging, and work tirelessly to share their life’s knowledge and experience with others and to contribute to society selflessly.

Now that we’ve clearly identified resilience, it is something that many of us would like to develop more of in our lives. Below are ten tried and true ways to do just that.

1. Self Care 101

Nothing can stand strong on a weak foundation. In order to even consider building resilience, we need to first learn and maintain a sound routine of self-care. Exercise and proper nutrition for our physical self-care, find and do things you enjoy for your emotional well-being, and learn to relax, refresh and reinvigorate regularly.

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2. Connect – connect – connect

Build your supports and you build your resilience. We all are faced with times in our lives when being able to bounce things off people who have our best interest at heart and truly want to see us succeed is a sure way to keep us handling the rough spots in our lives and help us get through to the other side.

3. Face adversity squarely

Disappointments, setbacks and other types of adversity are unavoidable. Learning to face it squarely and readjust our outlook toward a brighter tomorrow, helps us break through, stand tall and maybe even look forward to tomorrow being a better day.

4. Live the Serenity Prayer

We can’t move past something we don’t accept. By learning how to determine what we have the ability to change and what is out of our control, we can keep our focus on the things we can positively impact and off spinning our wheels and increasing frustration.

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5. Think Small

We build resilience through developing small successes in our every day lives. Just one tiny step in the right direction routinely, builds momentum. It may not seem like much, but even Mount Everest can only be scaled one step at a time. Small, achievable goals build life times of success and keep us moving forward, even when we hit a bump in the road.

6. Reality Show

Some of the most recent data on stress indicates that what makes it so unhealthy to people is our attempted avoidance of it. When things are not going well, resilient people face it squarely and determine their next move quickly and efficiently, rather than stress and fret over how badly things are going. By getting past it quicker, they have more energy left to actually correct the problem and build resilience.

7. Think Happy Thoughts

Focusing on the things we want helps us achieve them and also distracts us from focusing on things that don’t go the way we want. There is loads of documented proof that positive affirmations and visualization builds success and resilience. If we haven’t yet achieved our goals, by picturing them and focusing our energies on them, we bring them to us that much sooner.

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8. Perspective Means A Lot

By keeping things in their proper perspective, we avoid turning setbacks into insurmountable catastrophes . Keeping a ‘this too shall pass’ perspective in times of trouble, can be just the spoonful of sugar Mary Poppins was talking about that we need to get our medicine down, keep us going and help us to bounce back.

9. Self-Conviction and Confidence

There are very few things that build resilience as well as self-confidence and conviction of purpose. We hit on the perfect combination when we are able to believe in what we are seeking to accomplish and our own ability to get the job done. These two factors work together almost magically, helping to make us pretty much unstoppable. By combining these two factors, we can develop a surplus of resilience that can last for days.

10. Look at the Flip Side

Just like the old 45 RPM records, all life’s adversities have a flip side. For every weakening blow we are dealt, we also are shown a strength we didn’t realize we possessed. Learn to look for the strength that life’s adversities leave in their wake. Was that struggle one that helped strengthen or renew a relationship? Did that hardship help heighten your level of spirituality or appreciation for life? Find the positives that exist in the flipside of the hurdle and you’ll grow your levels of resilience beyond your wildest dreams.

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Resilience is not something we get and use up. Resilience is our emotional elasticity that we need in order to handle whatever life throws at us. And working to build it up is a life-long project. Start building your resilience today for more success, a stronger you, and someone who can keep standing even in the face of adversity.

Featured photo credit: Girl Standing in field of flowers at sunset via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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