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The 5 Most Paralysing Excuses That Stop You From Doing What You Really Want

The 5 Most Paralysing Excuses That Stop You From Doing What You Really Want

I don’t think I know anyone who purposely doesn’t want to be successful. To achieve their ambitions. To have an incredible life. But how many people actually go after it? How many people really want it? How many people do you know who are so focused on their dreams that nothing distracts them? Not many, if any, I bet.

In the past I’ve used excuses without even realising it. They’d just become part of my vocabulary and, therefore, part of my life. I’ve always wanted to be really successful. My excuses were ensuring that I never would be.

Here’s some excuses I’ve used, and I’m sure you’ve used, in the past:

Excuse#1: “I don’t have enough time”

I didn’t have enough time because I was spending my time doing other stuff. Watching TV, scrolling through twitter, idly browsing Facebook. You know, all that really important stuff. Did these things actually make me happy or take me towards the life I truly wanted? No. They were just relaxing and pleasurable ways to procrastinate.

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So, was my excuse valid? No. of course I had time. I was just spending it doing irrelevant stuff.

Excuse#2: “I don’t have enough money”

The real question here is: why don’t I have enough money? Because I didn’t save. Because I spent more than I earned. Because I was spending it on fast food and clothes and alcohol. Actually, I had enough money. I was just spending it on things that would bring me short term gain, rather than investing it for long term gain.

So was my excuse valid? No. I had enough money. I was just choosing to waste it.

Excuse#3: “It’s not realistic”

It’s not realistic to be a millionaire. It’s not realistic to invent the iPhone. It’s not realistic to create the Internet.

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I hope you’re getting the idea. None of these things are “realistic”. At least not to most people. I used to think lots of things weren’t realistic. The idea of living my dream life, for example. I used to consider it, of course, but only as a dream. I never really thought about how I could create it. I was scared. “If I think about it, I’ll have to plan it. And if I plan it, I might actually have to do something!” Scary, right? Lots of people think like that, and the really scary thing is that so many people will settle. Because their dream life isn’t “realistic”. Will you fall into the same trap?

So, was my excuse valid? Of course not. Realistic is an opinion. If you need to change that opinion, change it.

Excuse#4: “I’m comfortable where I am”

Comfortable isn’t the same as happy. I’ve done and continued to do things that were easy and safe and boring because I was ‘comfortable’. This is an illusion. How could I have been comfortable if I was bored? The reason I kept doing these things was because I was certain of the outcome, which is not the same as being comfortable and definitely not the same as being happy. I was comfortable in the fact that I knew what the outcome would be. But I wasn’t stimulated. Or motivated. Or having fun.

So, was my excuse valid? Not really. I was, in a way, comfortable. But was I growing? Was I moving forwards? Was I happy? No.

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Excuse#5: “I can’t do it”

Had I even tried? Did I hate the thought of failure? Wasn’t the real problem that I wouldn’t try, rather than couldn’t?

I was living in permanent fear that I might fail. That I might not be good enough. It might even be worse than giving up because I was resigning myself to an outcome before I even tried. That’s crazy. It makes no sense. I didn’t even bother to explore why I thought I couldn’t do it, or why I wouldn’t at least try.

So, was my excuse valid? No. I was just letting fear run my life instead of taking control and doing what I really wanted.

Conclusion

These excuses felt wrong because they were stopping me from achieving, or even from starting, things that were extremely important to me. I don’t think I could be a painter. Or a sculptor. But that’s cool, because I don’t care. I appreciate paintings and sculptures, but there’s no way I’d ever paint or sculpt for work or pleasure.

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The reason I wasn’t happy was because being successful, in the way that I wanted to be successful, was something I’d never achieve if I kept using these excuses. I only truly stopped using excuses once I discovered and admitted who I really was and what I actually wanted. After that, I knew I could do it. That it was realistic. That I deserved it. And that it was ok for me to go and get it.

I’ll leave you with some fun and thought provoking questions:

What’s the benefit of using an excuse?

When you stop using excuses and start making progress, what would that be like?

Would you allow your children to make excuses?

Featured photo credit: Neal Fowler via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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