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Successful Public Speakers Never Say These 7 Things

Successful Public Speakers Never Say These 7 Things
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It takes a lot of guts and an unbelievable desire to pursue your passion to be a successful public speaker. You have to be comfortable enough to be in your “zone”; but you also have to be competent enough to illustrate your confidence and expertise on the topic you’re talking about.

As with all things, successful public speakers aren’t born–they’re made from scratch, beaten up verbally, mocked endlessly and criticized harshly until they’re shaped appropriately.

Now, let’s take an innovative approach to public speaking training. Instead of outlining the phrases that you should say, I’m going to tell you the phrases that you should avoid. After all, it’s easier to remember the things that you should avoid, don’t you think so?

Let’s start:

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1. “Oh, I apologize for that.”

If you’ve already moved over to the next slide and a participant tells you to go back because they haven’t really understood it, don’t say, “I’m sorry!” Instead, smile and say, “It’ll be my pleasure to discuss this with you.”

When you’re invited to be a guest speaker, the organizer values you and trusts your authority on the topic. As a result, these attendees believe you’re the expert in the matter. You should exude an aura of confidence. Saying you’re sorry is only acceptable if you’ve offended anyone. Otherwise, don’t say it. It makes you seem apologetic and insecure. Who says they’re sorry when they haven’t really done anything wrong?

2. “My voice is soft today because I’m exhausted.”

You’re human. All of the attendees know that you’re not a robot, so, of course you’re prone to over-fatigue and illness. But remember, all of these participants are also humans who are equally susceptible. They paid with their time and money in order to listen to an expert who is at the top of his game, so you’re still expected to go on with the show.

You’re free to whine and mope around in bed after your speech. But, before that, don’t complain while talking about your topic–it gives off a negative energy that you may pass on to your audience.

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3. “I’m not sure about that.”

If you’re not sure about something, why are you presenting it in the first place? To spread confusion? To make your audience doubt your credibility? When in doubt, don’t mention it anymore. Let’s face it: if you were planning on presenting a certain statement, you should have exerted an effort to confirm its validity.

If someone asks a question about something that you’re not familiar with, don’t give a half-hearted answer and then say that you’re not sure. Instead you should say, “That’s a good question that warrants an even better answer. So, if we could exchange contacts later, I’d love to get back to you on this after I do some extensive research on this matter.”

4. “Let’s not go back anymore.”

Your aim is to make the audience understand the subject matter. If they don’t comprehend and they want to go back, it’s your responsibility to explain it to them. Respect their time, but also respect their willingness to learn.

5. “I’ll make this fast.”

Successful public speakers are known to take their time in encouraging their listeners to ask questions. They are really interested in the process of learning and teaching, and they don’t think of their seminars as marathons. Instead, they are similar to walks in the park or jogging leisurely around the neighborhood.

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Learning is a process that requires patience. If you’re speaking about something, don’t just focus on being heard–focus on being understood

6. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

You’re not a babysitter to a bunch of toddlers. Saying this in public is tantamount to accusing them of misbehaving.

You are a professional public speaker who has been invited to talk to colleagues. You need to give them the same respect that you want to get from them.

7. “I’m a pile of nerves right now.”

We all know that public speaking makes some people nervous, but announcing it to the public is just re-affirming that fact. In fact, if you constantly repeat this, your audience may doubt you and feel like you are not experienced enough. They may not pay attention to you anymore. Don’t say you’re nervous, as it may also freak you out and knock you out of your game. Instead, say, “I’m so excited to be here. We’re all going to learn from each other,” and smile genuinely.

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Which of these have you heard from a speaker before? How did you feel after hearing it?

Featured photo credit: sw_UNForumSeattle_cs8267.jpg/jppi via cdn.morguefile.com

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Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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