We’ve all been there. One minute you’re sailing towards achieving one of your major life goals and then before you know it a sneaky, irritating thought has crept in to throw you off track. The thing is, the mind is a wily instrument, and if we don’t take the time to train our minds, then our minds will end up training us!
In fact, how much time do you even spend paying attention to those thoughts inside your head? Because if you’re not careful, your negative thoughts will throw a spanner in the works when it comes to achieving your goals.
Think about it. Thoughts essentially drive our behavior—before we do something, anything, we have to have a thought first. And when we’re thinking positive thoughts, life is generally pretty good. Those irritating, negative thoughts, however, are the ones that will do us the most harm. Don’t underestimate the power of a series of irritating, negative thoughts one after another, because they can literally throw you off track and turn your life upside-down!
Here’s a list of 7 irritating thoughts to avoid and 7 more helpful, positive thoughts to choose instead.
1. “I should…”
The word ‘should’ is highly negative and is not conducive to achieving goals in life. When you think the word “should,” you’re essentially criticizing yourself, so its best to avoid this in everyday thoughts.
Replace with: “I have decided to…”
Instead of worrying about what others think you “should” be doing, consciously make your own decisions in life. Take control of what you really want to be doing with positive and empowered thoughts such as “I have decided to.”
2. “I’ll try.”
When we say I’ll try what we really mean is “I’m not prepared to commit to this.” Have you ever tried to get up and walk? Try it now. Try and get up and walk. Did you do it? I’m guessing not. Because it’s not possible to “try” and do something. As Yoda from Star Wars once said: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Replace with: “I will.”
Consider for a moment how much more powerful the words “I will” are, compared to “I’ll try.” When you say “I will,” you’re demonstrating your desire to commit to something wholeheartedly and your goals suddenly feel “possible.” Don’t worry too much about whether you actually reach the goals or not—this is about you taking action so you can move forward.
3. “I can’t…”
I love to tell people that “there’s no such word as ‘can’t.'” “Can’t” is such a debilitating word that sees you failing before you have even begun. If you’re a perfectionist, this might be your worst enemy because perfectionists often don’t even attempt to try new things for fear of failure. Remember this saying: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” So take a chance and delete “can’t” from your thought processes.
Replace with: “What if?”
This is a great alternative to thoughts that begin with the words “I can’t.” Instead of limiting us, the phrase “What if?” opens up a world of possibilities. It encourages solution-oriented thinking, which helps us to solve complex problems. Next time you feel like you’re in a hopeless situation, try saying to yourself “what if” and see what solutions pop up. You might be surprised!
4. “I wish I wasn’t / didn’t have to…”
This is nothing more irritating than a nagging, complaining voice twittering away inside your head. Plus, it’s pointless. If you don’t like something, then take action and try to change your situation. Otherwise, may as well get on with life with a smile on your face!
Replace with: “I choose not to..”
You always have a choice in life. Instead of wishing your life away, take control and make an active decision to either do something or not do it. In the end, you always choose.
5. “I need…”
How often to you declare that you ‘need’ something and how often do you really, really need it? This word need creates dependency where it’s often not required. Next time you hear yourself think this, have a re-think to determine if you genuinely need what you’re talking about. If you don’t, then let go and minimize any negativity.
Replace with: “I have everything I need.”
By thinking about what you need a lot of the time, you are focusing on what’s missing in your life. This is essentially negative thinking in action! Put a stop to this by reminding yourself that you have everything that you need to get by.
6. “I’m not as good as…”
When we compare ourselves to others we are essentially de-valuing ourselves. These thoughts can leave us feeling like we’re just not good enough. The reality is this: every person on the planet is different and has their own skills & talents, so instead of comparing yourself to other people’s talents, look for your own skills and focus on these.
Replace with: “I’m good at…”
Train yourself to focus on those things that you are good at instead of making comparisons all the time!
7. “I’ll never get everything done!”
When we have a lot on our to-do lists, it can be easy for overwhelm to kick in. Negative phrases such as this one only add fuel to the fire and build the anxiety associated with lots of tasks. By allowing these sorts of thoughts into your head, you’re essentially taking your focus off the present and are worrying about the future. This can actually paralyze you and stop you from making any progress.
Replace with: “Everything is under control.”
Instead of worrying about whether you’ll get everything done, simply repeat a calming phrase like “Everything is under control” and then slowly and methodically tick each task off one-by-one. All you need to do is take action and stop worrying!
Do yourself a favor and kick these irritating, negative thoughts to the curb and adopt these more useful, positive phrases!