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How Saying No Can Scale Back Your Busy Life

How Saying No Can Scale Back Your Busy Life

You’re stressed. You’re frazzled. You’re exhausted. Does this sound like you? Honestly, this description probably fits most of the people reading this article. Do you make up reasons for why you feel like that? Or should I say, excuses? Everyone feels like they are a victim of their hectic and busy life. But guess what? You are in control. You have the power to design your life exactly the way you want it to be. You just need to learn how to say ‘no’ so you can achieve more balance and inner peace in your life. Here are some ideas for you:

1. Don’t Worry About What Other People Think of You.

Let’s face it. Most people are worried about “public perception.” But why? Why do you feel the need to live up to other people’s expectations? Are they living your life? No. You are! Don’t worry whether they think you’re not on the top of your game, or that your kids aren’t perfect, or that you look selfish. All you need to worry about is what you think of you.

2. Before You Accept Any Invitations, Make Sure You Really Want to Go.

Maybe your second cousin invited you to her son’s big 16th birthday bash. Or your “energy vampire” friend needs more advice about her toxic relationship. Stop and think about whether you actually want to commit to these things. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But the point here is that you need to only accept invitations that make you happy and excited. All the rest should be placed aside with a polite “Thank you, but no thank you.”

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3. Abandon Your Need to be ‘Perfect.’

In my humble opinion, perfectionism should be named as a psychological disorder (not that you asked). I don’t mean to insult anyone who labels themselves a perfectionist. Really, I don’t. I can be one myself from time to time. But guess what? What is “perfect?” NOTHING! NO ONE!! Perfectionism is just an illusion that people chase. It’s not real. It’s just this unattainable goal that keeps eluding us all. So stop chasing it. Just be happy with who you are! Take the pressure off of yourself and strive for excellence, not perfection. Believe me, there is a difference.

4. Don’t Worry About Hurting Other People’s Feelings.

Many people – especially women – are conditioned to want to make other people happy. We don’t want to be mean. We don’t want someone to feel bad because of our actions. But here’s a newsflash for you – no one is responsible for anyone else’s feelings but their own. As long as you act kindly, speak with love, and have good intentions, you don’t have to worry. If people get offended, then it is their problem, not yours. We all need to take personal responsibility for our feelings, not blame others. So detach from thinking you need to make everyone happy. You don’t.

5. Don’t Buy into Societal Pressure to “Keep up with the Joneses” (or “the Kardashians”)

In the United States, we live in a culture of excess. From constant celebrity tabloid gossip to feeling like we’re “nothing” if we don’t have a bigger house, a nicer car, or go on better vacations that the “Joneses.” Again, it’s all an illusion. Just because your 3-year-old isn’t a soccer superstar yet, well, that doesn’t mean that you’re a failure as a parent. Who cares? See #1 and memorize it…stop caring about what other people think of you.

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6. Be Selfish.

Yes, that word has a negative connotation. I know it does. No one wants to be labeled as “selfish.” But guess what? Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s called ‘self-love.’ If you do nothing but give, and give, and give, and then give some more…well, you’re tank is going to run dry very quickly. And when your tank is dry, you can’t give any more. So you need to refill your tank. And that means saying ‘no’ to obligations that zap your rejuvenation time. It’s okay. No, really. It’s okay to say no.

7. Don’t Impulsively and Habitually say ‘Yes.’

There have been times in my life where I said ‘yes’ only out of habit or because I thought I should. I said ‘yes’ to a promotion – when I later realized I really didn’t like the type of work I would have to do. ‘Yes’ to taking on a major project that I had no experience or training with only to realize later that I hated it. It’s okay to take time to think about it. In fact, it’s imperative.

8. Focus on Your Feelings – Does it Make You Feel Good or Bad?

Let your feelings guide you. Get out of your head. Does your chest tighten up when you say ‘yes’ to a commitment? If it does, hit ‘cancel.’ Pay attention to your feelings. Don’t rationalize too much. If it feels like too much, then it probably is. Don’t try to talk yourself into or out of something that your intuition tells you isn’t right.

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9. Don’t Prioritize Your Schedule, Schedule Your Priorities.

Some people live and die by their schedules. Honestly, I am one of them. But not for the same reasons as other people do. I live by my schedule only to make sure I arrive on time and live up to the obligations I have willingly and joyfully committed to. Look at your real priorities. Having your kids in 20,000 different activities while working a high-powered job and being president of the PTO are all choices. Choices that are probably stressing you out. If they don’t, then cool. Keep doing it! But if not, then you need to re-think your priorities.

10. Know That Being Busy Doesn’t Always Equal Happiness. Or Success.

Sometimes people confuse “busy-ness” with achievement. I know plenty of people who are constantly busy but actually accomplish next to nothing. Just because you’re busy, busy, busy, doesn’t make you more successful, happier, or a better achiever than someone who has learned to say ‘no.’

11. Look at What You’re Missing Out On.

‘Me’ time. Family dinners. Talking with your kids. Playing games with your family. At the end of your life, what are you going to regret the most? Not being president of every organization and club? Not spending more time at work? Not having your kid make it to the NBA (which, by the way, unless he/she is 7 feet tall with crazy talent, well, that might not happen …)? Or not really getting to know your kids. Or not really enjoying yourself and finding your inner peace. I think most people would regret the latter.

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Here’s the bottom line: It’s okay to say no! It’s not only okay, it’s necessary if you want to achieve balance and inner peace. If you’ve never known how that feels, you may not have even considered saying ‘no.’  Don’t worry. People will still like you. Your kids and/or spouse will thank you. In the end, saying ‘no’ will keep you sane. And it will give you a sense of a life well lived, not a life ‘well-stressed.’

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on October 12, 2020

10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track in 2020

10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track in 2020

The success of our day is largely dependent on the quality of our planning. Not to miss out anything in their to-dos, some people prefer to make a list of upcoming tasks in a notebook, while others have long started using digital technology solutions.

Calendar applications are some of the main tools that are worth using to organize our life and plan your time carefully.

Many people have switched to specific tools; however, there are still some who do not use calendars on a daily basis. They may find some applications uncomfortable to use, non-functional, or expensive.

In this article, we are going to check out the best calendars apps to help you stay organized.

Before You Download

As you are no doubt aware, there are all kinds of calendar apps available. Instead of you sifting through the hundreds of them, we’ve handpicked 10 of the best calendar apps you can get. On top of glowing reviews from each one, we’ve considered the following aspects when creating this list:

  • User Interface – How you navigate the app should be smooth and simple. The buttons on the app should be clear, obvious and easy to move through.
  • Synchronization – Whether it’s with other calendar apps or with other apps, syncing apps should be easy and enhance your overall experience with the app.
  • Additional features – Since there are so many options for calendars, many of these apps offer additional features. These features make the apps stand out from the other apps and provide unique experiences to you.

1. Any.do Calendar

    This calendar has direct integration with Any.Do To-Do List, which gives you a unique tandem of two applications.

    Apart from its extended functionality, Cal Calendar is easy to use. The creation of events is very simple and fast.

    What is more, depending on the name of the event, the application automatically adds contacts and geolocation data to the entry description. You can even import your lists and entries from Any.do.

    Any.do Calendar is a great option for any type of user. It is very convenient and doesn’t overcomplicate the mode of display.

    Another good thing is that this tool is available for free, so you can use it without spending a dime for the software.

    Download Any.do Calendar here!

    2. Google Calendar

      Google Calendar is the official calendar for Android devices that has been tested out by many users around the globe. If you are right now trying to get away from it, consider changing your mind.

      Since this application is installed on most Android devices by default, many users think that there is nothing special in this program. They are wrong.

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      Google has been updating its calendar for quite a few years, and now it comes in Material Design with advanced event features, direct integration into other Google services (for example, supports reminders and Google Now), and comes with Exchange support.

      The program is super easy and will not cost a dime for you. It is a good thing, right?

      Download Google Calendar here.

      3. Calendar

        Calendar is a relatively new app. It works as a web app and for both iOS and Android devices. It is an intelligent app that learns your contacts, schedule and tasks. It also helps you schedule and arrange meetings according to your available time slots.

        A good thing about Calendar is that it allows you to sync up with other calendars you use such as Apple Calendar and Google Calendar. And so you can manage all the calendars you have in one place.

        Calendar also gives you analytics of your meetings, giving you a clear picture on how you can improve your time management.

        Download Calendar: Meeting & Scheduling here.

        4. Business Calendar

          Business Calendar is geared towards people who use their calendar for work purposes and business task planning. It offers different modes with wide configuration capabilities.

          The application gives a default view mode by months, and events can be marked in different colors. Display modes/ sorting can be adjusted to your needs (by month, day, year, or events).

          You can also set a multi-day viewing mode to see how things look for the next few days. Scrolling up and down moves you by month, and if you check a few days, they will be shown in a more detailed form.

          The day display mode offers hourly scheduling, and the schedule mode provides a detailed schedule for a single event.

          Business Calendar is a great tool for planning/ scheduling cases, tasks, and events. There is a support for recurring events, which can be set up in just a few clicks.

          Having purchased software, you can use it to import and export other calendars, delete, copy, or move several events at the same time.

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          Android Business Calendar application may seem somewhat chaotic, but it works fine and is easy to work with if you play with it for a while.

          A full version of the application is available for $4.99, but you can also find a free version for the app test drive.

          Download Business Calendar here.

          5. aCalendar

            aCalendar opens our collection of top 10 calendar applications available on the market today. With its appealing design, easy navigation, and great functionality, it is one of the most popular calendar apps in our list.

            Some of extra functions include color schemes for each case type (48 colors to choose from), different types of demonstrations, different widgets, moon phases, and much more.

            Taking into account it functionality, aCalendar is a reliable calendar application that has an easy-to-navigate interface with three display options. Scrolling from side to side allows you to switch between the display modes of the month, week and day.

            When scrolling down and up, you are moving through the calendar at intervals in accordance with the selected display mode.

            Apart from its time planning feature, aCalendar synchronizes photos from contact lists or social networks to remind you about birthdays, anniversaries, or any other special dates.

            The program also supports data transfer through NFC and full-screen widgets, which eases your work with any data.

            The program is available for free, but you can also get even more features if you buy the extended version of software for $4.99.

            Download aCalendar here.

            6. DigiCal Calendar

              DigiCal Calendar is very similar to Cal Calendar in the fact that the application focuses on design more than on its functionality. However, this doesn’t mean that the application doesn’t serve the purpose.

              With this calendar application, you can synchronize all your calendars and view them in different ways.

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              Along with the basic functions, this program comes with support for Google Calendar, Outlook, and includes some unique and interesting features. You can match keywords to the image or set up a dark theme.

              The app can even show you the weather forecast for three days. There are many other features that deserve the attention of people who really like to use calendar applications.

              Download DigiCal Calendar here.

              7. SolCalendar

                SolCalendar can be called a universal application. It claims to be an all-in-one digital solution having a basic calendar functionality combined with some other advanced features, such as weather forecast for a specific day.

                The application supports Google Calendar, as well as tasks, widgets, lunar calendar and even Foursquare.

                Those searching for a calendar application to cover just everything in its functionality, SolCalendar is a program to consider. There are a lot of interesting things in this application; the program does an excellent job working in “all-in-one” mode.

                Test SolCalendar – the application is available for free. You can test it out without purchasing the service.

                Download SolCalendar here.

                8. IRL Event Social Network

                  One of the most unique apps on this list is the IRL Event Social Network app. As you can guess from the name, the core focus of this app is social networking. Unlike other social media platforms, you can consider this platform to function similar to Meetup.com. It’s a site where you can connect with other people within your area that share a similar interest.

                  IRL is that while also providing a convenient calendar for you to schedule events and plan out your day. Though due to it being a secondary focus, you’re lacking a lot of the syncing aspects that other apps have on this list. Regardless, because of this huge social feature, it’s worth considering for those who want to make more connections.

                  Download IRL Event Social Network here.

                  9. Today Calendar

                    Today Calendar is one of the most hip and edgy calendars in our list. The solution was one of the first ones that really embraced Material Design and remains one of the few that adhere to the neat style.

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                    The calendar application offers bold colors, simple controls, and great functionality. This is not as heavy an application as many others; it will not eat all the memory of your device.

                    If you are not searching for something complicated and over-functional, Today Calendar is what you need. You can always test the application before paying for it – the program is available for free.

                    Download Today Calendar here.

                    10. Timepage

                      Timepage is an intuitive calendar app that will manage your time in a way that other calendar apps can’t. It offers the same sort of functions that you’d expect from other calendar apps: opportunities to record events, notifications and reminders, weather, and driving duration to a particular event. However, the app goes beyond those functionalities in two ways.

                      The first way is that while the app sends you notifications, it also has reminders for you for what is coming up next. That bit of extra time can allow you to prepare and make adjustments to your day if need be.

                      The second function – which is more important – is the heat map when you go to see the full view of your calendar. This heat map indicates what days you are most busy and other days where you are freer. This heat map provides a quick glance to determine broadly what days are good to add more events and other tasks.

                      Download Timepage here.

                      Our Verdict

                      Searching for the right application to manage your various calendars and plan your busy day can sometimes turn into a streak of obstacles.

                      Most of us need flexible applications that can be easily used to manage our tough schedule. The application should have all necessary time planning functions and be intuitive.

                      Stylish design and limitless compatibility also matter. It is not always easy to find such a program.

                      The above digital calendar solutions fall under the category “worth” of being used. They are modern, multifunctional, easy, and easy. Pick the one you like!

                      More Productivity Apps for Better Time Management

                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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