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How Reframing Your Failures Will Actually Bring Success

How Reframing Your Failures Will Actually Bring Success

How do you view failure? Do you see it as a life-stopping, dream-ending catastrophe, or do you see it as a valuable experience that moves you one step closer to finding success?

If the first one is your current mindset, then a change in perception could bring major, positive transformations to your life.

Below are a few ways you can reframe your failures to bring success. If you implement these ideas into your life, you’ll not only have an easier time dealing with failure, but you’ll also be able to grow as person every time you do fail.

1) Failure Makes You a Stronger Person

“A smooth sea never made for a skillful sailor”

This couldn’t be more true. You need failure in your life. If you can make it through a failure and continue to press forward, you strengthen your ability to persevere.

If you never experience any setbacks in your life, it means one of two things. You’re either living life in your comfort zone and not achieving much, or you’re setting your sights so low that succeeding is easy.

Neither of those scenarios results in you living a life you’re excited about. Neither of those scenarios results in you achieving your life’s most important goals.

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Set bigger goals knowing that even if you fail, you’ll be a better person because of it.

Every time you fail, you get stronger.

2) Failure is a Stepping Stone to Success

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

Every successful person you can think of has failed at one point in their lives, and most of them have failed more times than you can imagine.

Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks, was denied by 242 banks before one finally gave him the funds he needed. Walt Disney’s theme park concept was denied 302 times before he finally got a yes. Steve Jobs was fired from his own company.

Imagine what the world would be like today if those men had let failure stop them.

It wasn’t the fact that they never failed that made them successes, it was the fact that they kept failing and kept moving forward that made them successes.

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Every time you fail, you move one step closer to success.

Failure is just the price of admission, and everyone has to pay the price.

3) Failure is the Best Teacher

I’ve learned more from my failures than I ever have from my successes. When you fail, you learn what doesn’t work, which is just as important as knowing what does work.

That way, the next time you try, you have the knowledge of what to avoid, and it’s that knowledge that will move you closer to success.

You can almost never predict how things are actually going to turn out. The only way to know what’s going to work and what’s not going to work is by taking action. Sometimes you make the right move, sometimes you make the wrong move.

But there’s still value to be found and lessons to be learned when you make the wrong move and fail. Don’t miss out on those valuable learning opportunities just because you’re afraid of a little failure.

4) Failing Doesn’t Mean You’re a Failure

Failure is a result, not a way to describe yourself. Just because you’ve “failed” at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a person.

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You have to separate your self esteem from your failures.

If anything, failing means you’re a step above the average person who only dreams, but never takes action because he’s too afraid to fail.

Wear your failure as a badge of honor because it shows that you were bold and brave enough to take action.

5) What Other People Think of Your Failure is Irrelevant

Everyone has an opinion, and most of them don’t matter. And the moment you start worrying about what other people think about your failure, you’ll be too caught up in defending yourself to find all of the value there is in failure.

Unless someone is giving you constructive criticism that’s going to help you grow, ignore it. Some people give “advice” with the result of causing you harm, whether it’s intentionally or unintentionally.

Pick and choose who you listen to very carefully.

6) Failure Shouldn’t be Scary

We usually overestimate the devastation that failure will cause. We think that if we fail, our life will be torn apart and we’ll never be able to recover. But most of the time, that’s just not true.

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Most failures are not fatal. Instead, they’re minor setbacks.

7) Some Failures are Beyond Your Control

There are so many factors influencing the direction of your life. Some, you have control over, others you don’t. Stressing over the latter is a recipe for disaster.

Let go of the things you can’t control, and let them work themselves out.

Instead, focus on what you control and understand that even if you do fail, you gave it all you could and that’s all that matters.

Featured photo credit: Refraction through glasses via en.wikipedia.org

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Tony Robinson

Tony writes about mental strength, happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 15, 2019

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

How to Be a Leader Who Is Inspiring and Influential

When I began managing people 15 years ago, I thought having a fancy title was synonymous with influence. Over time, I learned that power is conferred based on likeability, authenticity, courage, relationships and consistent behavior. When leaders cultivate these attributes, they earn power, which really means influence.

Understanding influence is essential to professional growth, and companies rise and fall based on the quality of their leadership.

In this article, we will look into the essentials of effective leadership and how to be a leader who is inspiring and influential.

What Makes a Leader Fail?

A host of factors influence a leader’s ability to succeed. To the extent that leaders fail to outline a compelling vision and strategy, they risk losing the trust and confidence of their teams. Employees want to know where a company is going and the strategy for how they will get there. Having this information enables employees to feel safe, and it allows them to see mistakes as part of the learning journey versus as fatal occurrences.

If employees and customers do not believe a company’s leadership is authentic and inspiring, they may disengage, or they may be less inclined to offer constructive criticism that can help a company innovate or help a leader improve.

And it is not just the leadership at the top that matters. Middle managers play a distinct role in guiding teams. Depending on the company’s size, employees may have more access to mid-level managers than they do members of the C-suite, meaning their supervisors and managers have greater influence on the employee and the customer experience.

What Is Effective Leadership?

Effective leadership is inspiring, and it is influential. Cultivating inspiring and influential leaders requires building relationships across the company.

Leaders must be connected to both the teams they lead as well as to their own colleagues and managers. This is key as titles do not make a person a leader, nor do they automatically confer influence. These are earned through trusting relationships. This explains why some leaders can get more out of their teams than others and why some leaders experience soaring profits and engagement while others sizzle out.

Eric Garton said in an April 25, 2017, Harvard Business Review article:[1]

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“… inspiring leaders are those who use their unique combination of strengths to motivate individuals and teams to take on bold missions – and hold them accountable for results. And they unlock higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.”

How to Be an Inspiring and Influential Leader

To be an inspiring and influential leader requires:

1. Courage

The late poet Maya Angelou once said,

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

Courage is required in the workplace when implementing new strategies, especially when they go against professional norms.

For instance, I heard Lisa TerKeurst, bestselling author and founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, explain her decision to move away from her company’s magazine. While the organization had long had a magazine, she saw a future where it didn’t exist.

In order to make the switch, she risked angering her team members and customers. She took a chance, and what started out as a monthly newsletter, has grown into a multi-dimensional organization boasting half a million followers. Had Lisa not found the courage to change the direction of her organization, they undoubtedly would not have been able to experience such exponential growth.

It also takes courage to give and receive feedback. When leaders see employees who are not living into the company’s mission or who are engaging in behavior that may undermine their long-term success, one must risk temporary angst and speak candidly with the colleague in question.

Similarly, it takes courage to hear constructive criticism and try to change. In business, as in life, courage is necessary for being an inspiring and influential leader.

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2. A Commitment to Face Your Internal Demons.

If you feel great about yourself, enter a leadership position. You are likely to be triggered in ways you didn’t think possible. You are also likely to receive feedback that may leave you second-guessing yourself and your leadership skills.

The truth about leading others is that you get to a point where you realize that it is difficult to take people to places where you yourself haven’t gone.

To be an influential and inspiring leader, you have to face your own demons and vow to continually improve. Influential leaders take their personal evolution serious, and they invest in coaching, therapy and mindfulness to ensure that their personal struggles do not overshadow their professional development.

3. A Willingness to Accept Feedback

Inspiring and influential leaders are not afraid to accept feedback. In fact, they actively solicit it. They understand that everyone in their life has a lesson to teach them, and they are willing to accept it.

Inspirational leaders understand that feedback is neither good nor bad but rather an offering that is critical to growth. Even when it hurts or is an affront to the ego, influential leaders understand that feedback is critical to their ability to lead.

4. Likability

Some people will argue that leaders need not worry about being liked but should instead focus on being respected. I disagree. Both are important.

When team members like their boss and believe their boss likes them, they are more likely to go the extra mile to fulfill departmental or organizational goals. Likable leaders are moved to the front of the line when it comes to being influential.

Relatedly, when colleagues feel management dislikes them, they experience internal stress and can spend unnecessary time focusing on the source of their manager’s discontent versus the work they have been hired to do.

So, likability is important for both the leader and the people she leads.

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5. Vulnerability

Vulnerability is critical for being an inspiring leader. People want the truth. They admire leaders who can occasionally demonstrate vulnerability. It promotes deeper relationships and inspires trust.

When leaders can showcase vulnerability appropriately, they destroy the illusion that one must be perfect to be a leader. They also demonstrate that vulnerability is not a dirty word; they too can be vulnerable and ask for a helping hand when necessary.

6. Authenticity

Authenticity is about living up to one’s stated values in public and behind closed doors.

Influential leaders are authentic. They set to live out their values and use those values to guide their decisions. The interesting thing about leadership is that people are not looking for perfect leaders. They are, in part, looking for leaders who are authentic.

7. A True Understanding of Inspiration

Effective leaders are inspirational. They understand the power of words and deeds and use both strategically.

Inspiring leaders appropriately use stories and narratives to enable the teams around them to see common situations in an entirely new light.

Inspirational leaders also showcase grit and triumph while convincing the people around them that success and victory are attainable.

Finally, inspiring leaders encourage the teams they lead to tap into their own genius. They convince others that genius is not reserved for a select few but that most people have it in them.

As explained in the article True Leadership: What Separates a Leader from a Boss:

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“A leader creates visions and motivates team members to work together towards the same goal.”

8. An Ability to See the Humanity in Others

Inspiring and influential leaders see the humanity in others. Rather than treating their teams as mere tools to accomplish organizational goals, they believe the people around them are unique beings with inherent value.

This means knowing when to pause to address personal challenges and dispelling with the myth that the personal is separate from the professional.

9. A Passion for Continual Learning

Inspiring and influential leaders are committed to continual learning. They invest in their own development and take responsibility for their professional growth.

These leaders understand that like a college campus, the workplace is a laboratory for learning. They believe that they can learn from multiple generations in the workplace as well as from people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Influential leaders proactively seek out opportunities for learning.

The Bottom Line

No one said leadership was easy, but it is also a joy. Influencing others to action and positively impacting the lives of others is a reward unto itself.

Since leadership abounds, there is an abundance of resources to help you grow into the type of leader who inspires and influences others.

More Resources About Effective Leadership

Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: How to Be an Inspiring Leader

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