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Dear 20somethings, 5 Tips on Investing Your Time

Dear 20somethings, 5 Tips on Investing Your Time

I’ve always been a bit obsessed with the idea of not wasting time. Even as a kid, I had things to do. I wanted to get through school so I could get to the good stuff. Then I wanted to get through sleeping so I could get to morning again.

There’s too many interesting things, too much to learn to let the days slip by on things that don’t matter.

I’m in my 30s now, and I’ve figured out a few things worth giving my time to… and a few things that definitely shouldn’t get your precious minutes.

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1. Don’t waste your time worrying about what other people think of you.

Easier said than done, I know. This is a lifelong struggle for most of us, because even the most stoic still secretly like to be admired and appreciated. We want to feel good about ourselves, and it’s easier to do that when we know other people feel good about us.

But you can’t make everybody happy. It’s not your job, and it’s not even within your power. Once you realize that other people’s happiness is up to them – not up to you – you also begin to realize that you can control your own happiness. That truth helps you let go of the need to please other people.

2. Quit trying to find your passion.

Yeah, the trendy thing is to live your passion, follow your passion, do work you love (passionately), and, in short, know a lot more about yourself than most twenty-somethings know. The truth is that it often takes a long time – sometimes years, sometimes decades – to develop a deep, abiding passion about some subject or area or person or life purpose.

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In other words, if you don’t feel like you “have a passion” yet, don’t waste time trying to find it, or feel bad that you don’t have it. This is the time to learn, to get input, to explore, to discuss, to try and fail at a few dozen things. Do that for a few more years and you’ll have some good fodder to develop into a lifelong passion.

3. Cultivate a hobby.

Here’s a thing about life as a twentysomething: almost all the stable things in your life will change. You will experience change in your student status, your job(s), perhaps even your entire career direction, your relationships, your locale, your housing situation, and more. You are in the decade of new beginnings, which is great and all… But new beginnings come with a lot of change, a lot of upheaval, and a lot of adjustment.

This may sound silly, but in the midst of the big changes, it’s really important to have something that stays normal. Something that is unique to you, something you can cultivate into a routine, a ritual, a dependable part of your life that can flex with you through all those changes.

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A hobby is just that sort of thing. You can take up kayaking or karate, scrapbooking or banjo playing, and that hobby will adjust with you through the changes of your life. It’s a small thing, but one small, steady thing can help you adjust to each new normal.

4. Let go of friendships that aren’t working.

Friends are, arguably, more important when you’re in your twenties than they ever have been before. You’re identifying your own life and role outside of your family, and friends play a big part in that.

But some friends will hurt you, not help you; we’re all in different places in life. The sooner you can see that letting go is, at times, the best decision you can make for everyone, the better off you will be.

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5.Trust yourself more.

This is the one that will make the most difference in your life, right now, if you’ll do it. The truth is that you will make plenty of mistakes. Some will hurt. Some will change you. But all of them will teach you something. When you can begin to trust yourself enough to take the risks you need to take, you will still have to walk through mistakes. But you will get stronger through each one. You won’t waste time pretending to be something you are not. You won’t stuff down the little voice inside that knows what works for you and what doesn’t.

In short, you’ll still have plenty of changes to make stupid decisions, and deal with the consequences, but you won’t be wasting time on stupid decisions that are pointless and consequences that carry no benefit.

When you trust yourself and move forward, even if you mess up some in that process, you learn about yourself. You learn to listen better. You learn to take yourself seriously. You learn what you need to learn so you can do better next time.

That’s really what we’re all still learning.

Featured photo credit: Bev Goodwin via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 13, 2019

7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

Are you keen to reinvent yourself this year? Or at least use the new year as a long overdue excuse to get rid of bad habits or pick up new ones?

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when we feel as if we have to turn over a new leaf. The time when we misguidedly imagine that the arrival of a new year will magically provide the catalyst, motivation and persistence we need to reinvent ourselves.

Traditionally, New Year’s Day is styled as the ideal time to kick start a new phase in your life and the time when you must make your all important new year’s resolution. Unfortunately, the beginning of the year is also one of the worst times to make a major change in your habits because it’s often a relatively stressful time, right in the middle of the party and vacation season.

Don’t set yourself up for failure this year by vowing to make huge changes that will be hard to keep. Instead follow these seven steps for successfully making a new year’s resolution you can stick to for good.

1. Just Pick One Thing

If you want to change your life or your lifestyle don’t try to change the whole thing at once. It won’t work. Instead pick one area of your life to change to begin with.

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Make it something concrete so you know exactly what change you’re planning to make. If you’re successful with the first change you can go ahead and make another change after a month or so. By making small changes one after the other, you still have the chance to be a whole new you at the end of the year and it’s a much more realistic way of doing it.

Don’t pick a New Year’s resolution that’s bound to fail either, like running a marathon if you’re 40lbs overweight and get out of breath walking upstairs. If that’s the case resolve to walk every day. When you’ve got that habit down pat you can graduate to running in short bursts, constant running by March or April and a marathon at the end of the year. What’s the one habit you most want to change?

2. Plan Ahead

To ensure success you need to research the change you’re making and plan ahead so you have the resources available when you need them. Here are a few things you should do to prepare and get all the systems in place ready to make your change.

Read up on it – Go to the library and get books on the subject. Whether it’s quitting smoking, taking up running or yoga or becoming vegan there are books to help you prepare for it. Or use the Internet. If you do enough research you should even be looking forward to making the change.

Plan for success – Get everything ready so things will run smoothly. If you’re taking up running make sure you have the trainers, clothes, hat, glasses, ipod loaded with energetic sounds at the ready. Then there can be no excuses.

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3. Anticipate Problems

There will be problems so make a list of what they’ll be. If you think about it, you’ll be able to anticipate problems at certain times of the day, with specific people or in special situations. Once you’ve identified the times that will probably be hard work out ways to cope with them when they inevitably crop up.

4. Pick a Start Date

You don’t have to make these changes on New Year’s Day. That’s the conventional wisdom, but if you truly want to make changes then pick a day when you know you’ll be well-rested, enthusiastic and surrounded by positive people. I’ll be waiting until my kids go back to school in February.

Sometimes picking a date doesn’t work. It’s better to wait until your whole mind and body are fully ready to take on the challenge. You’ll know when it is when the time comes.

5. Go for It

On the big day go for it 100%. Make a commitment and write it down on a card. You just need one short phrase you can carry in your wallet. Or keep it in your car, by your bed and on your bathroom mirror too for an extra dose of positive reinforcement.

Your commitment card will say something like:

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  • I enjoy a clean, smoke-free life.
  • I stay calm and in control even under times of stress.
  • I’m committed to learning how to run my own business.
  • I meditate daily.

6. Accept Failure

If you do fail and sneak a cigarette, miss a walk or shout at the kids one morning don’t hate yourself for it. Make a note of the triggers that caused this set back and vow to learn a lesson from them.

If you know that alcohol makes you crave cigarettes and oversleep the next day cut back on it. If you know the morning rush before school makes you shout then get up earlier or prepare things the night before to make it easier on you.

Perseverance is the key to success. Try again, keep trying and you will succeed.

7. Plan Rewards

Small rewards are great encouragement to keep you going during the hardest first days. After that you can probably reward yourself once a week with a magazine, a long-distance call to a supportive friend, a siesta, a trip to the movies or whatever makes you tick.

Later you can change the rewards to monthly and then at the end of the year you can pick an anniversary reward. Something that you’ll look forward to. You deserve it and you’ll have earned it.

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Whatever your plans and goals are for this year, I’d do wish you luck with them but remember, it’s your life and you make your own luck.

Decide what you want to do this year, plan how to get it and go for it. I’ll definitely be cheering you on.

Are you planning to make a New Year’s resolution? What is it and is it something you’ve tried to do before or something new? Why not pick one from this list: 50 New Year’s Resolution Ideas And How To Achieve Each Of Them

Featured photo credit: Ian Schneider via unsplash.com

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