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Be Confident In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Be Confident In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Last week the world was shocked and saddened by the suicide of Robin Williams. Since then the social media outlets have been blowing up with posts with people expressing their sadness and sharing some of his moments that are meaningful to them. What has also received a great deal of attention is the topic of suicide.

Though I’ve been studying people for 13 years, suicide is something I know very little about; so in no way, shape, or form am I trying share expertise on the subject. I can empathize a bit. I have a very Expressive Style and that means I can be very emotional and very assertive. This Style also comes with a roller coaster of attitudes and emotions that present great opportunities, but if left unmanaged, can create some real challenges. July of 2004 was probably the most challenging month of my life. I lived three hours from family and friends, my girlfriend and I broke up, and I got hustled by a roommate and was broke. Was I depressed?  I can’t say for sure. Was I suicidal? I don’t believe so, however I remember sitting in my apartment feeling alone and ashamed, and thinking to myself “I can totally get why people kill themselves, because this sucks.”

There are people out there who unfortunately experience legitimate depression and then there is a whole other group of people who find themselves in mental and/or emotional funks they can’t shake. The more I studied people the more I tried to zone in on what motivates them. I quickly realized that people can have all the goals, potential, and talent in the world, but if they don’t have confidence, they will likely never have the life they want to have. I began getting very curious about the concept of confidence and I started asking the question “If people aren’t confident, what are they?” The answer I’ve settled on is: Insecure. I define insecurity as any thought or feeling we have that is negative, either toward ourselves or the world around us. This could be stress, worry, fear, anxiety, regret, anger, jealousy, sadness, shame and the list goes on and on. In my opinion, insecurity is a disease, but instead of killing us, it just makes our lives suck until we die.

I look at confidence and insecurity as two different roads.

The Confident Road

The confident road is smooth and efficient. It’s a beautiful day and the driving conditions are perfect. The cruise control is set, windows are down, and your favorite song is on the radio. Your passengers are great company and everyone else you encounter is friendly. You consistently reach your destinations with no problems because the directions and signs are clear. You arrive feeling great without a worry in the world.

The Insecure Road

The insecure road is not smooth and efficient. There are times when the days are beautiful and conditions are perfect, but they can quickly and violently change leaving you looking for a ditch or an overpass for protection. The road is windy and bumpy, changes directions frequently, and the signs are not always clear or accurate. The people you encounter are not always friendly or helpful and your passengers are “backseat drivers” always criticizing you and making you second guess where you are going. The ride can be very uncomfortable and if you are lucky enough to reach your destination, you do so feeling confused, anxious, stressed, and worn down.

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Which road do you want to be on?

In his Hierarchy of Needs, Abraham Maslow says that insecurity may hold us back from developing healthy relationships, keep us from developing the self-esteem needed to achieve our goals and prevent us from realizing our passion and potential in the world.

When you start to understand confidence and insecurity, you start to realize how big of an issue this really is. Millions and millions of people are not living the lives they want to live because they are insecure. That is a tragedy!

I think so many people experience insecurity for three reasons:

We Are Confused

We get hammered with thousands and thousands of messages every single day, most of which don’t have our best interest in mind. Simply, we are not focused on the right things.

We Aren’t Taught Self-Respect

We are taught to respect, be good to, and take care of everyone else, but how many of you were taught to respect, be good to, and take care of yourself? We aren’t proactively taught this, so we don’t know how to. We aren’t taught what self-respect means. We aren’t taught to set healthy boundaries that we must project. We aren’t taught to think about what kind of life we deserve? We are taught to put everybody else first and that thinking about ourselves is selfish.

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We Lack Self-Awareness and Self-Management

You can’t manage what you aren’t aware of and because we aren’t taught to think about our self, we aren’t aware of our self. I train leaders all over the country and without any hesitation I have no problem telling them that a lack of self-management will be the difference between them being a great leader or a bad memory.  Personally, I realize that I am more sensitive and insecure when I don’t get enough sleep and I don’t exercise on a regular basis. Because I have self-awareness, when I feel negativity I am quick to take a step back and adjust my world accordingly to get back on track. You must get to know yourself so you can manage yourself.

To close, I want to remind you of a few concepts you must become familiar with to gain the confidence you need to live the life you want to live.

Self-Awareness

Above anything else, Self-Awareness might be the most important skill you can learn. Google defines Self-Awareness as:“conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.” I define it as knowing who you are and where you are going. What is important and meaningful to you? What excites you about the world? What do you expect of yourself and the world around you? What do you really want to do? What do you want your life to look like? What do you need to accomplish to fulfill your vision? What is your plan to accomplish your goals and vision?

When you know who you are, where you are going, and how you are going to get there, you eliminate a lot of the uncertainty and confusion that leave people feeling insecure.

Self-Awareness is knowing who you are, where you are going, and having a plan to get there. There is no uncertainty or confusion because your vision, plan, and how you organize your life is based on your values, passions, and things that are meaningful to you. You will never find any greater motivation than this to help you keep thriving forward!

Self-Respect & Self-Worth

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? When you think about your life and what you want out of it, what do you feel? Are you motivated or discouraged?

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While growing up it is beaten in to our heads how important it is that we have respect for people and things and the better we can do this the easier our life will be. However, I don’t remember at any point in my life anyone teaching me that the first person I needed to respect was myself. Yes, I was probably more insecure than the average kid, but I was so busy kissing everyone else’s behind and seeking approval and validation that I never thought about what I deserved. As a result I was very amiable with the world around me. Most of the time I just went with the flow and I was never too assertive.  If I felt what I was going to say or do was going to hurt or upset someone, I didn’t say it even when I was in the right or at a disadvantage. I didn’t understand self-respect and self-worth. You must.

Understanding self-respect and self-worth is your best defense against the world around you. They create much needed boundaries that will keep things out of your life that will keep you surviving rather than thriving. They protect your self-esteem, confidence, and attitude. People who understand self-respect and self-worth are more confident and they are less likely to tolerate being bullied by people or the world around them.

Self-Confidence

Google defines self-confidence as “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment”You must trust and believe in your abilities! Self-Confidence is the opposite of insecurity. When you are confident, you are not insecure and when you are insecure, you aren’t confident.

What is confidence? A 2009 Psychology Today article titled The Key to Confidence says:

“Confidence is our greatest personal resource. With it, we can face any situation knowing we can handle it. Without it, we are destined to suffer.”

A 2013 article on HuffingtonPost.com titled What is Confidence, Really? states:

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“Owning it. When you’re “owning it,” it means that you’re totally and completely at peace with who you are in every moment, interaction and experience. You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other… you’re just you. You radiate charismatic energy whether or not you have an extroverted personality because you are genuinely content with yourself and your present experience.”

In an AskMen.com article titled What Does Confidence Mean?, they say:

“Confidence is an attitude, a demeanor of coolness, a “swagger,” if you will. Confidence is not something that you can wear like a T-shirt or a gold watch, but it is something that can be enhanced by putting on a fresh, crisp new item of clothing or by putting a little extra effort into your physical appearance. It’s a certain pep in your step. A way of walking. A contagious charisma.”

A PowertoChange.com article titled You Can Be More Confident talks about confident women:

“There are few things more beautiful on a person than confidence. Women who wear it radiate strength, passion and conviction. It contributes more to a look than a designer label or the perfect diamond. When a woman knows who she is, why she is and what she’s supposed to do, she may be dressed in thrift store specials and be absolutely gorgeous.
A confident woman is not afraid to be herself. Plain and simple and beautiful, or flamboyant and fabulous. The key is: she knows who she is. She understands her purpose, and her gifts. She knows that there are certain things only she can contribute to this world, at this time, in this place.
She knows her style. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer zebra stripes and pink fur, or to be cloaked in grays and subtle greens. Whether you like volleyball or Victorian teas. Shopping or hiking. Or all of the above. What is most important is to be you.”

I want you to be on the confident road. I want you to have unshakable self-awareness, self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence.

You must put the focus on your self. That doesn’t mean be selfish or act like a narcissist. The reality is, if you don’t look out for you, no one else will. If you are having trouble managing and concurring your insecurities, admit them, and get help. Talk to friends, seek out a mentor, or visit a counselor.  Little insecurities can easy morph into big ones and you don’t want that. You don’t deserve that!

Find and embrace the confident you!

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Last Updated on February 17, 2021

50 Ways to Increase Productivity and Achieve More in Less Time

50 Ways to Increase Productivity and Achieve More in Less Time

If you feel like you don’t have enough time to do everything you want to do, maybe it’s time to check-in with your time management skills.

No one is born to be very good at time management, so that’s okay if you think you’re bad in it. But everyone can learn to boost their productivity and achieve more!

Here are 50 ways to increase productivity and add hours to your day.

1. Set a Timer

Estimate the time you need to tackle different tasks and set a timer for each of your tasks. How you go about this is up to you as there are many different ways. There is the Pomodoro technique where you focus on a task for 25 minutes followed by a five minute break afterwards.

In the event that you have a task that will take much longer than that, you can consider one of the many timer-based apps. One that comes to mind is Clockify. It’s used for freelancers and entrepreneurs alike, however it’s a good way to be setting yourself a timer. It provides reports and you can serve as a project manager of sorts too. Best of all, it’s free.

2. Eliminate All Distractions

Distractions include the phone, email notifications and having multiple web browsers open on the desktop. Just as it’s important to be organized offline, it’s key to have things organized online as well. This free guide End Distractions And Find Your Focus is a good tool to help you. With this guide, you’ll learn how to get rid of distractions and boost productivity. Grab your free guide here.

You can also learn more on how to get rid of all distractions in this guide: How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)

3. Listen to Music That Boosts Productivity

Distractions should be avoided, but sometimes a bit of music in the background can help you focus.

Of course, it doesn’t need to be heavy rock music, but a bit of Beethoven may do you some good.

Here’s a complete guide to help you pick the right music for better productivity: How To Maximize Your Productivity With Music: A Complete Guide

4. Find Meaning in What You Do (And Love What You Do)

Enjoying what you do is the ultimate way to increase your productivity.

If you aren’t sure what you love doing yet, don’t worry. Leo Babauta has some unique ways to help you: How to Find Your Passion

5. Prioritize your tasks ahead of time.

By listing your tasks in order of importance, you can make sure that you finish all of your most important tasks during the day.

Learn a unique technique to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster.

6. Batch Similar Tasks into a Single Batch.

Tasks like blog writing, phone calls, email and errands can be grouped into a single batch. You will save time by completing similar tasks in one session. One way to help you with organizing all of those things is through the app Todoist. It’s an easy and simple way for you to plan out your day, set reminders, and group all of your most important tasks in a convenient spot.

7. Complete Your Most Dreaded Tasks First Thing in the Morning.

Whichever activity you are dreading the most is probably the one you need to complete first thing in the morning.

Many people tend to check emails in the morning because after checking a list of emails, they feel fulfilled. But that’s just an illusion of having achieved more.

Doing simple tasks like checking emails first in the morning is bad for you. Instead, do the difficult tasks because you have more energy in the morning to tackle them!

8. Reward Yourself for Finishing a Big Task

To stay motivated for whatever you do, reward yourself every now and then.

Keep track of your small wins and milestones and celebrate them. So whenever you struggle about your progress, you see how far you’ve come!

Find out more about this 2-Step Approach to Self-Motivation: Track Small Wins and Reward Yourself.

9. Don’t Multitask

Research has shown that multitasking is not productive. If you think you can multitask, think again.

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For optimum productivity, focus on one thing at a time.

10. Step Away from the Computer

The Internet has become one of the number one distraction. To increase your productivity, try to do as much of your work offline as possible.

I do this a lot when I try to brainstom new ideas and have found it to be very beneficial to simply unplug.

11. Use Focus Tools

Make good use of apps and technology to help you remove distractions.

Here’re 18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools to help you stay focused. This way, you’re not distracted by the web, e-mail, or IM.

Also, join the free Fast-Track Class – Overcoming Distraction, and you’ll learn the one simple method to work even when you’re surrounded by distractions. Join the free session now!

12. Just Start

Often times, starting is the hardest part. People tend to wait for the perfect time with perfect condition to start. But there’s no perfect condition.

Once you get going, you will quickly get into a rhythm that could last for hours.

13. Find out Your Productive Hours

Everyone has a certain time of the day in which they are more productive than others. For me, it’s the morning.

Find out when your prime time is for productivity and optimize your work schedule accordingly.

14. Keep a Notebook and Pen on Hand at All Times

This way, you can write down your thoughts, to-dos and ideas at any time. The key is to get everything out of your head and onto paper. Your subconscious mind won’t be reminding you about it every other second. Another consideration is getting the app Evernote. Not only does this save you on ink and paper, Evernote is a convenient place for you to jot down notes and thoughts and then share them with the team. In certain circumstances, this can prove useful if you’re the type of person that has a lot of ideas that you want to share.

15. Write a Blog to Chronicle Your Own Personal Development and Achievements

The blog keeps you accountable and always working towards self improvement and personal growth.

When you write down all the small achievements you’ve been having, you’re also more motivated to move forward.

And you know what, this is how I started Lifehack too! What also helped me in starting Lifehack is WordPress, which allows people to set up a website for free. WordPress has simplified a lot of the process of building a site to the point that virtually anyone can build a website now.

16. Write out a To-Do-List Each Day

I like to plan my day the night before. This way, I can get started on my most important tasks as soon as I wake up. The Full Life Planner is a nice tool to help you organize your days and get things that matter done. Check out the planner here and start to plan your day ahead easily!

Make sure you don’t make any of these common to-do-list mistakes!

17. Write Your Most Important Tasks and To-Dos on a Calendar.

The key to good time management is knowing where to be and what to be doing there at any given time. Effective calendar management goes hand in hand with good task list management.

Learn here How to Use a Calendar to Create Time and Space.

18. Reflect on Your Productivity Constantly

As you go throughout your day, repeatedly ask yourself:

“Am I currently making the best possible use of my time?”

This one simple question can be an excellent boost to your productivity.

19. Get up Early Before Anyone Else

I know it could be difficult for some to wake up early in the morning but nothing beats a quiet house!

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Here’s How to Start Your Day at 5:00 AM and some Simple Things Early Risers Do to make waking up early easier.

20. Get Plenty of Sleep

When you work online, sleep can become a long lost memory. However, it’s important to get plenty of sleep so that your working hours can be as productive as possible.

Try out this night routine which I highly recommend for productivity: The Ultimate Night Routine Guide: Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive

21. Exercise

Research has shown that midday exercise boosts productivity and morale in the workplace.

Take a short walk at lunch or do some simple stretches during your break to maximize your productivity.

Here I have some exercises recommendations for you:

22. Outsource as Much as Possible

If you want to achieve more in less time, learn to delegate or outsource work. Here are just a few of the companies that will help you outsource your everyday tasks:

Also, read this guide to learn how to delegate effectively: How to Delegate Work (the Definitive Guide for Successful Leaders)

23. Set Some Exciting Goals

Without worthy goals, you will never be motivated to get things done.

Set goals that are challenging and achievable. The best goal setting framework is a SMART goal. That said, there are other tools that can help you out as well. For example, The Dreamers’ Guide To Reaching Your Goal is a great guide to help you set and reach goals effectively. Grab your free guide and learn how to make your goals happen this year!

24. Tell Other People About Your Goals

When you tell others about your goals, you will instantly be held accountable.

25. Listen to Podcasts

Listen to educational podcasts or audio books while you’re driving to work, cleaning the house, exercising, or cooking dinner.

Audio learning has the power to add hours to your day. Not to mention, your cranium is sure to thank you for it.

Some recommendations for you: 11 Podcasts To Inspire Yourself

26. Read David Allen’s best-selling book Getting Things Done

This is one of the most important productivity books you will ever read. Read it, apply the tips in your daily lives and get more things done.

Here’re more great books about productivity too: 35 Books on Productivity and Organizational Skills for an Effective Life

27. Learn to Speed Read

When you can read faster, you will read and learn more! Check out these 10 Ways to Increase Your Reading Speed.

You can also make use of the app OutRead to help speed up your reading speed!

28. Learn to Skip When You Read

When you’re reading a book, just read the parts that you need and skip the rest. But you have to read with a purpose.

Learn how to make it work here: How to Read 10X Faster and Retain More

29. Focus on Result-Oriented Activities

Pareto’s law (also known as the 80 20 rule) states that 80% of the outputs result from 20% of the inputs. This means that 20% of our actions result in 80% of the results.

We must find the 20% that is creating the 80% of our desired outcomes and focus solely on those activities.

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30. Take a Break

You can’t always be working at optimum productivity. Instead, you should shoot for working in short bursts at your most productive times.

31. Start a Polyphasic Sleep Schedule

What is polyphasic sleep?

Polyphasic sleep is a sleep pattern specification intended to compress sleep time to 2-5 hours daily.[1] This is achieved by spreading out sleep into short (around 20-45 minute) naps throughout the day. This allows for more waking hours with relatively high alertness.

While you can learn more about it here, you’re recommended to take some naps during the day to recharge your energy too.

32. Learn to Say “No”.

We can’t do everything and therefore we must learn when to say no in order to save our sanity.

Learn the Gentle Art of Saying No from Leo Babauta.

33. Go on an Information Diet

Most of the world lives on information overload. We must eliminate mindless Internet surfing.

Stop reading three different newspapers a day and checking your RSS feeds multiple times a day. Otherwise, you’ll never get anything done.

The key is to limit yourself only to information that you can immediately take action on. Here’re some simple tips you can try: 10 Simple Productivity Tricks To Manage Overloaded Information

34. Organize Your Office

The piles of paper around your desk can be a huge barrier on your productivity. Optimize your time by organizing your office, setting up a system and dumping the junk.

Check out these 21 Tips to Organize Your Office and Get More Done and 20 Easy Home Office Organization Ideas to Boost Your Productivity.

35. Find a Mentor

By modeling after those who have already achieved success, you will save yourself a lot of time and energy.

A good mentor is hard to find, so here’s a guide to help you: What to Look for in a Mentor

36. Learn Keyboard Shortcuts

With technology’s help, you can double your work efficiency. Even better, you learn all the shortcuts when using technology, for example keyboard shortcuts.

When you use keyboard shortcut, you gain 64 hours every year!

Not sure what shortcuts to lear? Check out these 22 Tricks That Can Make Anyone A Keyboard Ninja.

Besides learning the shortcuts, you can also create keyboard shortcuts with AutoHotKey.

37. Improve Your Typing Speed to Save Time

Do you know you can save 21 days per year just by typing fast?

You don’t really need to take some serious courses to type faster, try these typing games online:

38. Work from Home and Avoid the Daily Commute

If your job is a flexible one, consider working from home. This saves you the commute time and you’ll find yourself more energetic throughout the day as you have saved the long ride.

Take a look at these tips to help you stay productive while working from home:

How to Work from Home and Stay Ultra-Productive

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39. Get Rid of Time Wasters

Common time wasters include Instant Messenger, video games, Flickr, checking your stats 10 times a day, television and extraneous Internet surfing.

Don’t rely on your willpower, make use of some of these useful tools to help you stay focus: 10 Online Apps for Better Focus

40. Plan Your Meals in Advance

Plan out all of your meals a week ahead and make your grocery list accordingly. This allows you to focus on the necessary – saving you time and money. You can also save yourself even more time through a wide variety of apps. One app that I find helpful is Mealime. It’s an app that provides you with a wide selection of recipes and also a convenient spot for your grocery list as well.

Considering the fact that over 4 million users have this app, it goes to show that there is a good selection of meal plans that you can follow and that the app is friendly to use.

41. Cook Your Meals in Bulk

When you cook your meals in bulk, you will have plenty of leftovers. This can avoid having to cook everyday.

Find out more about how to make cooking in bulk works: Once a Month Cooking: Productivity Hack or Overrated Time Suck?

42. Protect Yourself from Unnecessary Phone Time with Caller ID

The minutes you spend on picking up unnecessary phone calls are time wasted. You can prevent that from happening.

Check out this detailed guide how you can deal with those unnecessary phone calls: How To Lose the Useless Items that Weigh Down Your Day – Cellphone Calls

43. Take Shorter Showers

This one may sound silly but it’s actually something I struggle with. I spend up to 30 minutes in the shower. Think of the time I could save simply by speeding up a bit.

44. Save the Trips to Bank by Taking Direct Deposit

Many employers now offer direct deposit. If yours does, then be sure and take advantage of it and save yourself from a number of trips to the bank.

45. Auto Pay Your Bills

How many times have you been worried about whether you missed the bills deadline?

Auto paying your bills will save you time and eliminate late fees and increased interest rates.

46. Shop Online

Whenever possible, avoid going to the store. When you shop online, you can be more focus about what you’re getting.

47. Speed up your Internet With a Broadband Connection

Many people are aware of the slow speed of internet but aren’t doing anything about it. In fact, this is the number one Internet time-saver!

If you must use dial-up, then you can use accelerators like Propel and SlipStream to double or even triple your speed.

48. Keep up the Speed of Your Computer

If you’re a Windows user, use Windows hibernation feature to avoid the slowdown of exiting and restarting Windows.

Or maybe, consider switching to Mac as there’re plenty of Advantages You Probably Don’t Know About Switching To Mac From PC.

49. Turn off the TV

The average American watches more than 4 hours of television every day. Over a 65-year life, that’s 9 years glued to the tube.

For better health and productivity, turn off the TV. Here’re 11 more reasons to tell you to stop watching TV so often.

Turn off the TV and you are sure to get more out of life.

50. Use a Tivo or DVR

This can help you cut an hour-long television show down to just 40 minutes. You can save time while not missing the fun.

So, here’s the ultimate list of techniques you should learn to boost productivity. Pick the techniques that work for you and make them your daily habits. As time goes, you’ll find yourself being a lot more productive.

More Time Management Tips

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Reference

[1] Medical News Today: What is biphasic and polyphasic sleep?

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