Advertising
Advertising

7 Habits Of Highly Successful Failures

7 Habits Of Highly Successful Failures

Many people hold the common belief that it takes luck in order to succeed at life, but I’m about to tell you why that belief is absurd. Luck has nothing to do with success in life. Rather, it’s the daily habits and mindset of the individual which will determine whether they will succeed or fail. If you truly want to succeed in life then it’s important that you identify bad habits and common pitfalls to avoid in order to set you on the right path towards success.

1. Being Afraid Of Change

The first reason why you aren’t seeing any tremendous leaps of success in life is because you’re afraid to change. What are you afraid to change, you ask? Well everything! In order to succeed in life, you are going to have to learn how to change your behaviors, mindset, how you spend your time, and maybe even your career! There was a quote by a successful businessman who once said…

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what what you’ve always got.” – Henry Ford

In order to achieve your desired level of success and overcome failure then you are going to have to think outside of the box and play the game of life differently then how you’re playing it now. Even the smallest changes that you make in your daily habits can make a huge difference!

2. Playing The Blame Game

We’ve all been there before, that moment where we put the blame on someone else for our lack of success or when we give up because a situation is out of our hands. Well, let me tell you something. You aren’t accomplishing anything by blaming other people for your failures or giving up because you have no control over your situation. Instead of blaming others, accept responsibility for your failure, move on, and start over again.

Advertising

“A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stop trying.” – John Burroughs

Most successful people that I know are people who take responsibility for their actions, they don’t blame third parties or other people for their problems, and they believe that they can overcome any obstacle as long as they work hard to do so. It’s your mindset which will determine whether you really can overcome the impossible or not.

3. Not Believing In Yourself

It’s one thing to blame others but it’s even worse to not believe in yourself and your aspirations in life. Maybe you aspire to make something out of yourself in life but you are constantly bombarded with negative thoughts in your head saying that you aren’t ready or that you aren’t good enough. Well you know what, those thoughts in your head are right. You aren’t ready and maybe you aren’t good enough.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will.” – Sugar Ray Robinson

But so what? Are you going to let your thoughts stop you from taking the first step and doing what you were destined to do? Are you going to let a bunch of thoughts tell you what you can and can’t do in life? Break the shackles now and follow your heart. If you believe that what you’re doing is right and it’s what you were meant to do then don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Do what you love and live life as you want. Believe in yourself and you can overcome any obstacle that tries to feed those negative thoughts.

Advertising

4. Waiting Until The Very Last Minute

The difference between a successful person and a failure is time management. Successful people are doers, they get things done and they get them done on time. Failures are naysayers, they try to talk the talk before walking the walk. In order to succeed in life, you are going to have to learn how to beat procrastination and self motivate yourself each day to perform your tasks flawlessly.

“We have a strategic plan. It’s called doing things.” – Herb Kelleher

Not only do successful people get things done but they’ve also learned how to pick themselves back up after having a bad day. This is just as important as getting things done because you can’t let a bad event stop you from completing your day-to-day tasks. You can’t get back time that you’ve wasted but you can take prevent measures to avoid making the same silly mistakes in the future. The choice is yours.

5. Not Knowing What You Want To Do

Failures have a hard time determining exactly what it is that they want. Maybe, when you were a little kid, you decided that you were gonna be an astronaut when you grow up. And as you grew up, you’ve changed your mind dozens of times and even now, you’re still unsure of what you want to do. And it’s perfectly okay to be unsure! I mean, you have the rest of your life ahead of you so there’s plenty of time to think this through!

Well, do you wanna know something interesting? Successful people know exactly what they want to do in life, they probably knew what they wanted to do from an early age, long before you even thought about thinking about what you should be doing in life. And the reason that they are successful is because they stood firm with their aspiration long enough for them to succeed. For some careers, you may achieve success quicker than in others but that doesn’t mean that the quality of success is the same. Pick your career wisely, preferably, something that you love doing.

Advertising

“What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.” – Gretchen Rubin

6. Lack Of Planning

Without a plan, you’re setting yourself up for failure. In life, there are many other people out other there who probably have the same goals and aspirations as you and you’re fighting against them for a slice of the pie. If you want to win then you have to strategically create the best plan that you can possibly think of.

If your plan really is as good as you say then there should be no reason for your failure. Well, the thing is, there is no such thing as the best plan. Every plan has flaws in it and the person executing the plan could make mistakes that could foil a good plan before the plan is even fully executed.

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote

In order to be successful, don’t just have a Plan A, have a Plan B, and even a Plan C. Let failure know that you were expecting him and show him your Plan B. And if that doesn’t work out, whip out Plan C.

Advertising

7. The Fear Of Failure

The last and most common reason that people fail in life is because we’re simply afraid to try something new with the possibility that we might fail. We’re afraid to take our chances and climb the mountain. We’re afraid of what might happen or whether we actually have a chance to succeed or not.

Well, let me tell you something, until you can overcome the fear of failure, you won’t ever succeed in anything in life. Until you develop a bit of confidence and strive for excellence in all areas of life, your life will continue to be mediocre and you won’t ever get the results that you hoped for.

“Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.”

More by this author

5 Ways To Make Smarter Life Decisions 7 Habits Of Highly Successful Failures 7 Simple Ways To Attract Money To You 7 Simple Ways To Attract Money To You

Trending in Productivity

1 The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain) 2 What to Do When Bored at Work (And Why You Feel Bored Actually) 3 6 Effective Ways to Enhance Your Problem Solving Skills 4 How to Concentrate and Focus Better to Boost Productivity 5 15 Productive Things to Do When Bored (So Time Is Not Wasted)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 17, 2019

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

Advertising

Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

Advertising

One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

Advertising

But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

Advertising

It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

More About Goals Setting

Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next