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Last Updated on January 21, 2021

5 Excellent Ways To Reward/Punish Yourself To Reach Goals

5 Excellent Ways To Reward/Punish Yourself To Reach Goals

We all know that we need goals in life. Getting them done, though, is hard. And beating yourself up because you’ve failed to reach another goal does not get you anywhere.

You need to learn how you can stack the cards in your favor and how you can take willpower out of the equation. When you know how to use rewards and punishments in the right way, it will seem as though reaching your goals is an inevitable outcome.

1. Treat yourself when you get it right

When trying to reach a goal you should aim to treat yourself every week.

You can probably break your big goal down into little milestones. You should try and reach milestone per week. The great thing about milestones is that it breaks down the goal and lets you know when you are on the right track. Every time you hit a milestone you should treat yourself.

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The treat you give yourself does not have to be something massive. But it should be something that you really enjoy and look forward to. It is important that the weekly treat does not set you back in terms of your goal. If you’re looking to lose weight, it might not be a good idea to make your weekly goal a tub of ice cream, for example.

Having a weekly reward will provide you with a fresh burst of motivation each week. You’ll feel rejuvenated as a result of the treat and the small milestones will make progress seem easier.

2. Tell everyone about your plans

Nobody wants to fail in public. Public humiliation can be one of the most motivating factors ever when it comes to reaching our goals.

Mention to someone that you’re going after a big goal. Try and find someone who is going to give you a hard time should you fail. Someone who will make a comment or two when you’re failing and will let the rest of the world know too.

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This might sound like a bad idea, but it can be really helpful. You do not want this person to spread the bad news. It will feel even better when you reach your goal and you can prove to them that you were capable of reaching your goal. Pick the right person and just watch how motivated you’re going to feel.

3. Place a bet

If there is one thing we all hate, it’s losing money. You can take advantage of this psychological quirk by placing a big bet with someone based on your goal.

A big bet often tends to vary depending on who you are and what your salary is. For most people, however, 2% of their yearly salary seems to be big enough. Set an end date for your goal and then get to work.

Make sure you and the other person included in the bet are clear on the terms.  Ensure that the each of you have an agreement based on how you’re going to measure this goal and its achievement.

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4. Create your own consequences

Should you fail to reach a weekly milestone, you may want to put yourself through something that you really don’t like. This might take a little bit more effort when compared to everything else that has been mentioned, though it can still be helpful.

For some people, a cold shower might be the right kind of punishment for failing to reach a goal. Other people may decide that failure to reach a goal should result in them having to buy a gift for their least favorite person in the world. You could even consider donating to a charity you don’t like.

5. Have a friend support you

When it shooting for a goal, the support of a friend can really help. You should try and convince a good friend to reward you when you reach a goal.

This tends to work for a variety of reasons. Firstly, you do not want to let your friend down, and so will do everything you can to reach your goal. Secondly, you’ll work hard because you want the aforementioned reward once reach a goal. You’ll also have someone to talk to when the going gets tough.

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Provided that you have a great friend who cares enough to stand by their word, this technique can be a real godsend.

A New You?

Reaching your goals can be hard, especially when you’re relying on willpower.

However, you now know of 5 ways in which you can reward and punish yourself, so that you end up reaching your goals. With these tactics, you shouldn’t ever have to worry again about failing because willpower held you back.

Featured photo credit: Wynand van Poortvliet via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on June 16, 2021

What to Do If You Find Yourself Making Slow Progress Towards Your Goal

What to Do If You Find Yourself Making Slow Progress Towards Your Goal

If you are making slow progress on a goal you’ve set, maybe it is the wrong goal in the first place. Perhaps factors, including your attitude or environment, do not allow you to make your desired progress. However, it is easy to blame timing and luck; if you set a goal, you and only you are accountable for achieving it (read the achieve my goals guide). The question is, how?

Start With Why

On my career path, I have been fortunate to have the opportunity to explore and learn things practically. After a successful corporate career, I spent two years trying to establish an entrepreneurial consultancy, only to realize marginal success.

The consultancy formed based on my core values, candor, curiosity, and collaboration, but unfortunately, my customer base and projects were seemingly random and disjointed. While I understood I needed to establish a consistent and repeatable approach to content marketing to drive my clients’ results, that approach was not apparent in the brand I had built. Things got so rough that I had to resort to collecting unemployment at the onset of the pandemic.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I delivered a webinar called earning trust in uncertain times: coronavirus edition. Afterward, I received an email from a participant. He shared some thoughts on a campaign for his jewelry company and asked for feedback. When I read his email, I realized I could quickly help him to gain clarity, so I sent him a note with an offer to get his message on track. He offered to pay me for my time, and I said to myself,

“I am adding value, and I can charge for this!”

This first client needed to shift my offerings from general marketing consulting to a more diversified career that focuses on personal brand building.

It took a global pandemic to realize I needed to shift my goals to align with the change I was trying to make in the world, to a new business, coaching that applies my skills in an authentic way to me and valuable to prospects and customers.

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Start With Your Identity

James Clear discusses identity-based habits as deeply rooted in a person’s outlook toward life.[1] As a businessperson, identity-based practices are what impact business goals and your approaches towards achieving them. Identity is what you believe in, and outcomes determine what you seek to achieve. A permanent change comes from transforming the who part of behavior—the character.

Whether it is a coaching program I develop, a class I teach, or a marketing campaign I create, I always start identity. According to The Brookings Institute:[2]

Identity is a unique, inherited collection of assets, history, traits, and culture that distinguishes it internally and externally and can unite people and places.

But this logic also applies to personal goals. If losing weight is your goal, your focus is on an outcome rather than an identity-based plan, and you may lose motivation. Think, “Why am I trying to lose weight?”

  • Is it to be more healthy?
  • Did you get some lousy test results at the doctor?
  • Are you at risk of severe health problems?

It may help reframe your goal around a positive statement like, I am working to lead a healthy and active lifestyle. Motivation has to come from a place of confidence and belief in yourself. You know what they say about the air mask on the airplane – put it on yourself first.

It is ok to set goals for others; for example, “I am losing weight so I can live for my kids;” however, if you don’t set goals around themes that you can own, and you don’t do it for yourself first, then the people in your life will not receive any benefit.

Think about what you achieve from your efforts — the outcomes. The reality that you are looking at right now must also allude to the fact you promise to create for your clientele, and that is not possible unless you believe in it and make it believable for others.

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Be Specific About What, How, and When

Your values need to align with other people and systems to engage in meeting your desired outcome, so make sure to put in place a process that accounts for what motivates you, that you can reliably complete until you achieve your goal.

If you are not specific and clear about how many pounds you are trying to lose and when you will lose then, then how will you know if you met your goal in the first place?

BJ FOGG, the author of Tiny Habits, suggests that you start small. In the Tiny Habits method, you always start with a tiny behavior. Some examples:

  • Floss one tooth
  • Read one sentence in a book.
  • Take one deep breath.

According to Fogg, an excellent tiny behavior has these qualities:

  • takes less than 30 seconds (even better: just 5 seconds)
  • requires no real effort
  • doesn’t create pain or destructive emotions

Make sure it’s a habit you want to have in your life. Don’t pick something that’s a “should,” choose new behaviors you wish to.

The next thing to learn is where to place the further tiny action in your life. Just like planting a seed, you want the right spot for it, a place where it fits naturally and where it can thrive.

Be flexible and adaptable. We are in a complicated and volatile world, and things change on a dime, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to change how you go about achieving your goal or even what goals you are trying to accomplish first place.

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Be aware of bias. As you set out to achieve your goals, it is critical to be aware of the bias that can sneak in and sabotage your thinking. Yes, it is essential to collaborate with others to achieve your goals, but you need to understand yourself and make sure you are not getting in your way before doing that. Here are some common forms of bias.

  • Confirmation bias: People tend to listen more often to information that confirms the beliefs they already have.
  • Selection bias: Selecting individuals, groups that do not provide diverse perspectives for you to consider.
  • Self-serving bias: People tend to give themselves credit for successes but blame failures on external causes.

What about serendipity? Many of us believe that the great turning points and opportunities in our lives happen by chance, that they’re out of our control.

Dr. Christian Busch, author of The Serendipity Mindset: The Art and Science of Creating Good Luck, spent a decade exploring how, if acted upon, unexpected encounters can expand our random social encounters can enhance our worldview, expand our social circles, and create new professional opportunities.

Serendipity is usually about connecting dots that have previously remained elusive. Busch’s findings suggest that Good luck isn’t just chance—it can be learned and leveraged. When you are perceptive, curious, open-minded, and eager to see opportunities, others might see only negatively. If you notice something unusual but can connect that bit of information with something else, you are in the right mindset for achieving serendipity.

Motivation and a Realistic Plan

Only you can choose the goals you set. Motivation is critical in meeting your goals. But choosing goals is not enough; you need to select the right goals and define a plan that keeps you accountable for meeting your goals.

Author Gabriele Oettingen defined a methodology you can use to get better at achieving your hopes and dreams. It’s called WOOMP![3]

WOOP stands for:

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  • W = Wish
  • O = Outcome
  • O = Obstacle
  • P = Plan

WOOMP, there it is! WOOMP will force you to be hyper-realistic about your goals and be action-minded in your approach to achieving them.

Show up Consistently

In order to turn your vision into reality, you will have to regularly show up by consistently organizing, leading, and building to get to your goals.

“Some people show up when they need something. Some people show up before they need something, knowing that it will pay off later when they need something. And some people merely show up. Not needing anything, not in anticipation of needing something, but merely because they can.” — Seth Godin

Final Thoughts

While I would be happy to be your trusted advisor and coach, the answer has to start with you. My process will help you to define and document an ownable set of values and marketing frameworks that will make you more appealing to clients/ employers, especially on LinkedIn. These values will translate beyond work, as well.

More on Making Progress

Featured photo credit: Aj Alao via unsplash.com

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