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13 Ways Successful People Deal With Toxic Persons

13 Ways Successful People Deal With Toxic Persons

Among friends, family and co-workers, there are those whose attitudes can be demeaning and toxic. It is difficult relating to some of these people and thus it becomes a challenge. So how do we get out from the hole and be masters of our own fates?

The best way is to learn from successful people how they have approached the same role of winning the war against toxic individuals.

1. They set limits

Toxic persons try to consume you and make you swim deep in their problems. They don’t want to see solutions so they can waste your time by pressuring you to join their pity party.

Successful people understand that there is a fine line between offering to listen to the problems and getting themselves involved too deep in the negative emotional twists of such complainers. That is why they set limits and distance themselves when necessary.

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2. They don’t expect or request change

By expecting change, you lower your energy and create a resistance in people. Successful people do not want to be faced with a tone of disapproval, blame or rejection by a toxic person. So they simply suggest feedback and let them decide what they will do with it. They don’t demand actions or instant change.

3. They don’t get embroiled in fights

Successful people know how important it is to store energy. And when it comes to battling with a toxic person, they do well to manage their emotions.

By managing their emotions they can live to fight another day and avoid being brutally beaten. They choose their battles wisely and always pick the right time to be engaged in a fight.

4. They don’t allow anyone to restrict their happiness

Successful people do not allow other people’s opinions to determine their joy. They are masters of their own happiness.

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And so, anything that is successfully accomplished and needs to be celebrated cannot be affected by what toxic persons are thinking or doing.

5. They don’t forget

By not forgetting what a wrongdoer has done to them, successful people can move on and focus on protecting themselves from future harm. It is not as if forgiveness doesn’t play a part to their success, but they simply do not want to be involved in the mistakes of others.

6. They forge a support system

Successful people understand that battling toxic persons alone can be exhausting. To avoid such nerve racking mental exercise, they surround themselves with people who are supportive and willing to help them during difficult situations.

7. They get some rest

They understand the need to stay positive, creative and proactive. And the way they can do this is by getting some sleep. With a well deserved rest, successful people can manage their stress levels and be recharged enough to deal effectively with toxic persons.

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8. They focus on solutions rather than problems

The best way to manage your emotional state is to fixate on the solutions of the problems you are facing. Successful people focus on personal development and improve their circumstances, thus their attitude produces positive emotions and reduces stress.

Instead of thinking or focusing on how crazy toxic persons can be, they think of how they can handle the situation toxic individuals have presented.

9. They set barriers

You can’t deal with everyone in the same way. That is why successful people establish boundaries to rise above the negative people around them. By doing this, they can predict the actions of toxic persons. This also equips them with knowing when to put up barriers with negative people and when not to.

10. They are self aware

By being self aware you are able to determine how far anyone can go before he or she pushes your buttons. Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. That is why successful people can manage situations, even when they are confronted by a derailed person. They smile, nod and move on.

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11. They rise above negativity

Everyone will agree that toxic persons are irrational and crazy. They cannot be reasoned with, so instead of trying to get muddled up in the mix, they focus on not responding to the frenzy and chaos, and respond only to the facts.

12. They never play the victim

While toxic persons can play the field to their advantage, you are left to decide whether play the victim or not. Successful people do not allow themselves to be victimized by their emotional state, and instead focus on owning up from within to whatever negativity that surrounds them.

13. They never judge

Successful people are not judgmental. They understand that this can become addictive if they make it a habit. That is why successful people focus on other elements, such as compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness.

Featured photo credit: http://www.photopin.com via photopin.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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