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13 Ways Successful People Deal With Toxic Persons

13 Ways Successful People Deal With Toxic Persons

Among friends, family and co-workers, there are those whose attitudes can be demeaning and toxic. It is difficult relating to some of these people and thus it becomes a challenge. So how do we get out from the hole and be masters of our own fates?

The best way is to learn from successful people how they have approached the same role of winning the war against toxic individuals.

1. They set limits

Toxic persons try to consume you and make you swim deep in their problems. They don’t want to see solutions so they can waste your time by pressuring you to join their pity party.

Successful people understand that there is a fine line between offering to listen to the problems and getting themselves involved too deep in the negative emotional twists of such complainers. That is why they set limits and distance themselves when necessary.

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2. They don’t expect or request change

By expecting change, you lower your energy and create a resistance in people. Successful people do not want to be faced with a tone of disapproval, blame or rejection by a toxic person. So they simply suggest feedback and let them decide what they will do with it. They don’t demand actions or instant change.

3. They don’t get embroiled in fights

Successful people know how important it is to store energy. And when it comes to battling with a toxic person, they do well to manage their emotions.

By managing their emotions they can live to fight another day and avoid being brutally beaten. They choose their battles wisely and always pick the right time to be engaged in a fight.

4. They don’t allow anyone to restrict their happiness

Successful people do not allow other people’s opinions to determine their joy. They are masters of their own happiness.

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And so, anything that is successfully accomplished and needs to be celebrated cannot be affected by what toxic persons are thinking or doing.

5. They don’t forget

By not forgetting what a wrongdoer has done to them, successful people can move on and focus on protecting themselves from future harm. It is not as if forgiveness doesn’t play a part to their success, but they simply do not want to be involved in the mistakes of others.

6. They forge a support system

Successful people understand that battling toxic persons alone can be exhausting. To avoid such nerve racking mental exercise, they surround themselves with people who are supportive and willing to help them during difficult situations.

7. They get some rest

They understand the need to stay positive, creative and proactive. And the way they can do this is by getting some sleep. With a well deserved rest, successful people can manage their stress levels and be recharged enough to deal effectively with toxic persons.

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8. They focus on solutions rather than problems

The best way to manage your emotional state is to fixate on the solutions of the problems you are facing. Successful people focus on personal development and improve their circumstances, thus their attitude produces positive emotions and reduces stress.

Instead of thinking or focusing on how crazy toxic persons can be, they think of how they can handle the situation toxic individuals have presented.

9. They set barriers

You can’t deal with everyone in the same way. That is why successful people establish boundaries to rise above the negative people around them. By doing this, they can predict the actions of toxic persons. This also equips them with knowing when to put up barriers with negative people and when not to.

10. They are self aware

By being self aware you are able to determine how far anyone can go before he or she pushes your buttons. Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. That is why successful people can manage situations, even when they are confronted by a derailed person. They smile, nod and move on.

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11. They rise above negativity

Everyone will agree that toxic persons are irrational and crazy. They cannot be reasoned with, so instead of trying to get muddled up in the mix, they focus on not responding to the frenzy and chaos, and respond only to the facts.

12. They never play the victim

While toxic persons can play the field to their advantage, you are left to decide whether play the victim or not. Successful people do not allow themselves to be victimized by their emotional state, and instead focus on owning up from within to whatever negativity that surrounds them.

13. They never judge

Successful people are not judgmental. They understand that this can become addictive if they make it a habit. That is why successful people focus on other elements, such as compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness.

Featured photo credit: http://www.photopin.com via photopin.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Founder of Caseyimafidon.com which provides actionable articles to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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