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11 Things Highly Charismatic People Do Differently

11 Things Highly Charismatic People Do Differently

Want to land that job, date, or big deal?

Charismatic people do things differently.  Demystify their act and emulate their behavior to get the results you want.

They exude joy.

It’s a tough world out there, and people are drawn to happiness like moths to a light.  Whether your style is exuberant or more subdued, when you’re happy, people simply want to be around you.

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They tell stories.

There are many common human experiences that are likely shared by your best friends and that guy on the bus alike. Charismatic people are the folks who actually share them, and get the whole room laughing and talking together. What’s the key? Having the courage to share.

They inspire confidence.

Cultivate a firm handshake, look people in the eye when you are talking to them, focus on the person in front of you and leave any stories of questionable moral content for the privacy of your own home. Sound simple? Not always, but start practicing now, because charismatic folks have these skills down solidly.

They share conviction.

Who do you want to go to dinner with – the guy or gal who is passionately talking about something that is clearly important to them, or the monotone dud who doesn’t seem to care about anything? Charismatic people are passionate. They’re engaged. They want to tell you all about it, whatever it is.

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They listen actively.

Nobody likes an ego show. The key to charisma is an ability to spark other people to engage with you and each other. Once they do, these magnetic people listen actively, validating the audience’s decision to flock to them.

They are approachable.

Charismatic people are often described as “approachable”, a trait usually rooted in empathy. Like dogs, humans can just kind of sense when someone will or will not be receptive to what they have to say. Whether a charismatic person agrees with their audience or not, they are able to maintain that air of openness.

They pay attention to detail.

Ever struggled for conversational material? These folks don’t, because they pay attention to detail, ask questions and redirect the conversation according to the audience’s body language. Everything from the jewelry a person wears, to the regional verbal tics in their speech and the way they laugh is fodder to keep the conversational ball rolling.

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They are not slowed by social criticism.

If a rolling stone gathers no moss, then these folks are squeaky clean! Charismatic folks are figureheads, high liners, somehow visible. Controversy and criticism are inevitable, but these people build a tough skin and keep on doin’ what they’re doin’.

They take chances.

Everyone fears failure, but charismatic people do not shirk from it. They walk across the room and ask the person they like on a date; they put their resume in for a job that no one thinks they can get. “What’s the worse that could happen?” is a way of life. They roll the dice, and they get what they want more often than perhaps expected.

They are active.

A person cannot be labeled “charismatic” unless people are drawn to them, which by default means that a charismatic person is engaged with those around them. Whether through a gym, school, social club or other community function, they are not found dozing off in front of the television.

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Their glass is half full.

We all have hard days, and there are tough things going on in the world. Charismatic people leave the negativity to the birds. Even when offering candid, harsh assessment, they do so in a way that also presents the positive.Their word choice and body language reflect their optimism.

Eager to be regarded as a charismatic person yourself?  Check out this study that argues charisma can be learnt.

Featured photo credit: Steve Jurvetson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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