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11 Things Highly Charismatic People Do Differently

11 Things Highly Charismatic People Do Differently

Want to land that job, date, or big deal?

Charismatic people do things differently.  Demystify their act and emulate their behavior to get the results you want.

They exude joy.

It’s a tough world out there, and people are drawn to happiness like moths to a light.  Whether your style is exuberant or more subdued, when you’re happy, people simply want to be around you.

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They tell stories.

There are many common human experiences that are likely shared by your best friends and that guy on the bus alike. Charismatic people are the folks who actually share them, and get the whole room laughing and talking together. What’s the key? Having the courage to share.

They inspire confidence.

Cultivate a firm handshake, look people in the eye when you are talking to them, focus on the person in front of you and leave any stories of questionable moral content for the privacy of your own home. Sound simple? Not always, but start practicing now, because charismatic folks have these skills down solidly.

They share conviction.

Who do you want to go to dinner with – the guy or gal who is passionately talking about something that is clearly important to them, or the monotone dud who doesn’t seem to care about anything? Charismatic people are passionate. They’re engaged. They want to tell you all about it, whatever it is.

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They listen actively.

Nobody likes an ego show. The key to charisma is an ability to spark other people to engage with you and each other. Once they do, these magnetic people listen actively, validating the audience’s decision to flock to them.

They are approachable.

Charismatic people are often described as “approachable”, a trait usually rooted in empathy. Like dogs, humans can just kind of sense when someone will or will not be receptive to what they have to say. Whether a charismatic person agrees with their audience or not, they are able to maintain that air of openness.

They pay attention to detail.

Ever struggled for conversational material? These folks don’t, because they pay attention to detail, ask questions and redirect the conversation according to the audience’s body language. Everything from the jewelry a person wears, to the regional verbal tics in their speech and the way they laugh is fodder to keep the conversational ball rolling.

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They are not slowed by social criticism.

If a rolling stone gathers no moss, then these folks are squeaky clean! Charismatic folks are figureheads, high liners, somehow visible. Controversy and criticism are inevitable, but these people build a tough skin and keep on doin’ what they’re doin’.

They take chances.

Everyone fears failure, but charismatic people do not shirk from it. They walk across the room and ask the person they like on a date; they put their resume in for a job that no one thinks they can get. “What’s the worse that could happen?” is a way of life. They roll the dice, and they get what they want more often than perhaps expected.

They are active.

A person cannot be labeled “charismatic” unless people are drawn to them, which by default means that a charismatic person is engaged with those around them. Whether through a gym, school, social club or other community function, they are not found dozing off in front of the television.

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Their glass is half full.

We all have hard days, and there are tough things going on in the world. Charismatic people leave the negativity to the birds. Even when offering candid, harsh assessment, they do so in a way that also presents the positive.Their word choice and body language reflect their optimism.

Eager to be regarded as a charismatic person yourself?  Check out this study that argues charisma can be learnt.

Featured photo credit: Steve Jurvetson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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