Last night my 11-year-old came into my office (9 p.m. to be exact, foreshadow, foreshadow), and said, “Mom, can you please get off the computer and be with me?” I should know better, right? After all, achieving work-life balance is one of the staples of the coaching diet. I turned off the computer and we sat on the couch reading White Fang aloud. I’m not sure which was worse: not being with him, or scaring him to death, but that’s beside the point… I hope. Was there really anything so important that I couldn’t have shut the computer off at say, oh, 5 p.m.? Truly? No.
So, take a look and ask yourself, “Is this me?”
You know you’re out of balance when…
- Your mail sits unopened for a week and you pay your bills late
- You think that the more plates you can spin, the more you can have it all
- You keep declining invitations with friends
- You can’t remember the last time you talked with your brother
- You forget appointments and blow off commitments (like working out, eating healthy)
- You stop writing your task lists for the week and fly by the seat of your pants
- You haven’t synched your PDA in weeks
- You don’t care if you’re not on track with your plan
- You can’t remember what’s in your plan
- You don’t answer your phone or you’re always on the phone
Isn’t “having it all” a hamster-wheel myth borne of fear?
Let’s stop the bloodletting and take a look. Making quality-of-life shifts is much more sustainable when the solutions come authentically and naturally from within. We achieve that by asking questions, making inquiries, and recommitting ourselves to actions that are connected to our values.
To get yourself back on track, it’s helpful to ask yourself some big, tough questions now and then. These
10 questions will bring resonance to your choices and heart to your actions:
- What is it to be completely fulfilled in life?
- What values, qualities of being must be present for you to have a fulfilled life?
- How would honoring those values impact your experience of work-life balance?
- What are you committed to? (Not goals… goals are the doings that happen inside the field of commitments.)
- What actions give you the least joy?
- If you were committed to an organized, energetic, juicy, fulfilling experience in your work and life, how would that change your perspective about #5?
- What two or three actions could you take right now that would create the most impact on your wellbeing?
- What three things do you do in your daily life have absolutely no relevance to work or life fulfillment?
- What are you willing to give up?
- When will you commit to answering all these questions?
No, really: When will you commit to answering all these questions?