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10 Books Which Can Effectively Increase Our Emotional Quotient

10 Books Which Can Effectively Increase Our Emotional Quotient

People pay a lot of attention to the intelligence quotient, or IQ, which can be a determinant for a successful career. Nevertheless, this score does not reflect the overall intelligence of a particular person. Emotional intelligence is just as important for maintaining successful relationships, working in teams, and adapting to different social and business environments.

Fortunately, there are proven strategies that help people boost their emotional know-how. What’s the best place to start? There are plenty of popular books focused on this matter. You should start by learning the fundamentals of the emotional intelligence concept. Once you have a solid base of emotional education, you will notice how your life is improved from different points of view.

Mark the following 10 books as “to read”; they offer great tips that will help you increase your EQ.

1. Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence – Michael Cornwall

1. Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence by Michael Cornwall

    This author wrote an amazing guide that helps people improve their emotional intelligence through practical exercises. Dr. Cornwall suggests that the process of boosting your EQ starts with commitment to self-development, as well as a complete transformation of the way you think and behave. Emotionally healthy people think before reacting. They are open-minded and independent. This book teaches you how to achieve that state.

    2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Travis Bradberry, Patrick Lencioni and Jean Greaves

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    2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Patrick Lencioni and Jean Greaves

      Bradberry, Lencioni and Greaves associate emotional intelligence with today’s stressful economic conditions and demanding workplaces. They suggest several tools that help people adapt to such environments and channel the negative emotions that result from them.

      The biggest advantage of this book is the program that enables people to boost their emotional wellbeing by following clear steps focused on foundational skills: social awareness, self-awareness, relationship management, and self-management.

      3. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ – Daniel Goleman

      3.	Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

        Dr. Goleman offers a direct face-off between EQ and IQ, explaining that intellectual intelligence doesn’t help us achieve self-improvement without the boost of a high EQ. Supporting his arguments with facts from neuroscience and psychology, the author helps us understand the crucial skills for success.

        The book is not abstract at all; Goleman also offers ideas on how people can improve their EQ, which will lead to better relationships, work performance, and physical well-being.

        4. The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work – Adele B. Lynn

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        4.	The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work

          You can find tons of information on emotional intelligence online. However, many of those articles are based on abstract terms that may help you to understand the concept of emotional wellbeing, but won’t help you actually to achieve it. That’s why it’s important to find a more elaborate book that guides you through the specific steps you can take towards your personal growth.

          Adele B. Lynn provides effective guidance for professionals at all levels. Her practical examples and tips help the readers understand the effects different emotions have on our values, relations, and performance in the workplace. Once you learn how to recognize those effects, you will be able to achieve greater professional success.

          5. The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success – Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book

          5.	The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success

            This book may easily become your long-term companion. Highly-developed intellect and creativity are truly necessary for successful performance on multiple levels, but the role of emotional intelligence is just as powerful. The EQ Edge teaches us why EQ is of crucial meaning when people are trying to progress at work, strengthen their relationships, boost their confidence, and become leaders.

            The book also includes a practical guide that enables all of us to improve relationships with other people, but with ourselves as well.

            6. The New Psycho-Cybernetics – Maxwell Maltz

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            6.	The New Psycho-Cybernetics

              This is an updated version of the influential book that Maxwell Maltz published in 1960. The concept of emotional intelligence is nothing new; people have been aware of its importance throughout the last century. The theory of psycho-cybernetics examines the process of controlling thoughts and emotions. This book will teach you how to transform them from negative to positive.

              With time, you will reprogram the way your mind processes information. That will enable you to achieve your career goals and improve your overall lifestyle.

              7. Building Emotional Intelligence – Linda Lantieri

              7.	Building Emotional Intelligence by Linda Lantieri

                If you are a parent, it’s important to help your children develop the foundations of EQ at an early age. The most important part of children’s development is not reading, science, or math. Rather, it’s the capacity that Linda Lantieri defines as inner resilience. The approach elaborated in this book can also be useful for adults interested in boosting their emotional intelligence.

                With the step-by-step guide, the author enables people to improve their focus and awareness, increase self-esteem and empathy, and improve their ability for effective communication.

                8. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change – Stephen R. Covey

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                8.	The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

                  This author presents a holistic approach for solving professional and personal problems. Although the book isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, it is an essential guide for everyone who wants to gain control over their emotions. Many of the 7 habits of effective people are closely linked to awareness of their inner state. Through anecdotes and penetrating insights, Covey teaches people how to live with integrity, dignity, and fairness.

                  9. The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book – Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

                  The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

                    This is one of the most accessible guides for achieving higher EQ. The authors of the book are renowned researchers of the phenomenon of emotional intelligence. In The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book, they offer effective tools that help people bring their chaotic personal and professional lives to balance.

                    This edition may seem short for such a deep concept, but it’s very effective because it gets straight to the point. It will help you assess your own EQ and build your “emotional immunity” at home and at work.

                    10. The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships – Jeanne Segal

                    The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships

                      This author doesn’t spend much time trying to convince you how important emotional intelligence is for the wellbeing of your relationships; you are supposed to know that already. The value of this book is in the fact that it enables you to apply the things you know in your everyday life. Jeanne Segal offers a practical guide based on research and real-life examples.

                      The five basic tools elaborated in the book will help you enhance your relationships by improving your skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts, reading non-verbal signs, and boosting your capacity for clear communication.

                      Featured photo credit: Moyan Brenn via flickr.com

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                      Published on March 19, 2019

                      How Your Attitude Determines Your Success

                      How Your Attitude Determines Your Success


                      Do you remember the last time you faced a major setback–when you felt so low, that nothing seemed to make you happy? No matter how hard you tried, you just felt like the world was against you. Perhaps it was a bad relationship, or the loss of a loved one… maybe something bad happened at work? Whatever it may be, could you recall how your attitude was towards that situation?

                      Often when we’re caught in an unhappy situation, we feel limited and sometimes trapped. We want to get out of it as quickly as we can, but it’s never quite that simple.

                      Unfortunately, some people can remain in that terrible situation for weeks, months or even years; while others may come out strong and ready to start over–or continue from where they left off–fairly quickly.

                      So what sets these two groups apart?

                      The answer is their attitude.

                      Attitude is everything when it comes to achieving a goal, and tackling a setback or problem. 

                      When you’re able to have a positive mindset, you’ll be able to break free of your limitations that are holding you back.

                      A positive attitude also goes a long way in ensuring you come out victorious from whatever limitations that were holding you back before. It transforms not just your mental state, but your physical and emotional well being. It is the key to lasting total transformation.

                      Positive Attitude Brings About Positive Health 

                      When you’re stuck in a rut, often the first thoughts that run through your head are negative, thus your outlook likely becomes pessimistic. But, if you can transform those thoughts into more positive ones, then you’re on your way to talking yourself out of that rut, which allows you to move forward.

                      Of course, positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring all the bad or unpleasant feelings altogether. It just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way–instead of taking everything as a victim to negative circumstances, you see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

                      Be aware of self talk!

                      These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self talk comes from logic and reason, while other self talk may arise from misconceptions that you create. Others could come from external sources such as negative people around you, or messages from the media.

                      The key is to surround yourself with positive influences that can help turn those negative thoughts into positive, more productive actions.You’ll not only feel better about the situation, but in the long run, positive thinking can lower your levels of distress and depression and give you better coping skills during hardships.

                      Researchers studying the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health have also found that positive thinking may provide increased life span, better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and even greater resistance to the common cold!

                      It’s unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits, but one theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

                      It’s also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don’t smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

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                      Suffering is Inevitable, So It’s Best to Accept It 

                      Now, one thing that everyone goes through at some point, is suffering. It’s a harsh reality, yet you can’t actually avoid it. We experience suffering as the result of unhappiness, fear, anger, loss or frustration. In fact, it would be hard to even imagine the feeling of happiness if we never experienced suffering! How would we ever compare it?

                      So instead of wallowing in sorrow about the suffering you have endured, take the suffering as an opportunity for change. Did you get laid off from your job? Perhaps this would be a good time to re-assess your career goals.

                      Rather than feeling negative and stuck, use your time and energy to find opportunities which will put you ahead. With the right attitude, anything can seem possible.

                      This may sound crazy, but suffering is the secret to being successful! 

                      Here’s what I mean. It’s impossible to think of new ideas or understand new experiences without stepping outside of your comfort zone. Anyone who has met great successes has also faced many failures, as nobody wins on every try.

                      To propel you toward success, find a way to track your progress and to set and celebrate small benchmarks. It may be helpful to conduct a weekly review to assess where you are and acknowledge all of the small wins of the week. Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is an achievement; so, be sure to take note of them.

                      Tracking your progress is also a great way to find and mitigate triggers and hindrances that impede your progress. The point is, you’re making progress; even if it feels like suffering, you can see that it’s leading you to joy.

                      Remember, don’t compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Each step you make towards progress is making you a better version of you.

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                      Gratitude Goes a Long Way in Shaping Attitude 

                      Now, this may seem difficult to do when you’re already feeling down, but having gratitude is a very useful when you’re trying to navigate your way out of a setback. Being grateful for existing accomplishments and the supports in your life will help you see them more clearly, build your own confidence, and give you a better overall outlook on what your limitations really are and what you have to do to overcome them.

                      With a grateful attitude, you limit the damage of negative influences, and strengthen the impact of positive ones.

                      Being grateful, even during the toughest of times, steers your attitude towards a more positive one, allowing you to get back on your feet much more quickly. Many studies done on gratitude have shown positive results for people who practice regularly, such as improvement in relationships and in mental health. There’s even studies that show higher motivation in work settings due to a simple ‘thank you’ from managers to their subordinates.

                      Believe in Yourself and Your Truth

                      This is often easier said than done, but is also the most empowering truth to overcoming your setbacks and limitations in life.

                      Many people find it hard to keep a positive attitude during tough times because they lack inner confidence. They doubt their abilities because of the ‘failure’ that they’re experiencing, and don’t think that they can rise above again.

                      But, confidence doesn’t just come from talent, luck or easy opportunity. Confidence comes from overcoming difficulties and facing your fears head on. 

                      Confidence is a result of getting out of your comfort zone. The more you do this, the more confident you’ll be, and the more positive your attitude will be. Confidence will help you see your goals more clearly, find your strengths within, reach your goals and overcome your limitations much more quickly.

                      Here’s a quick story about my own struggles helping me get ahead:

                      When I first started Lifehack, it took a long time to gain a solid readership. Just getting 100 visitors was a challenge and took a good bit of time. I had great ambitions for this site, yet it seemed like I was doomed to fail. I received plenty of criticism, too. Some people thought that the world didn’t need yet another self help site, others offered the opinion that there was something wrong with the idea itself and I was making a mistake.

                      It was hard for me not to listen to them and, at some times, agree. But, persistence is key, and in the end I chose to believe in my truth.

                      I worked tirelessly changing the site layout, restructuring articles, and making the site more user friendly. Slowly, I expanded to a team with the hiring of some extremely dynamic and talented people. With each determined effort, the site grew in popularity, and a few years later, we had influenced millions–and continue to do so.

                      Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and facing every challenge head on were the greatest contributing factors to increasing my confidence. So welcome the challenges that come; don’t avoid them, as they’re all opportunities in disguise to feed your growth.

                      Your Attitude Sets the Tone for Success 

                      Do you see the importance of having a positive attitude? It is so much more than a mindset or state of mind. Your attitude sets the tone for every action and behavior that follows after, and that will determine how long it takes for you to break free from your current circumstance.

                      So if you’re currently in an unhappy situation, why not give it a try and look at things from a more positive outlook? As mentioned, not only does having a positive attitude bring about favorable outcomes, it also brings about positive health in the long run.

                      Embracing hardship as it is, and using it as a learning experience to grow, will also make you stronger. And, whether you’re going through good or bad times, practicing gratitude will no doubt help to limit the damage of negative influences, and strengthen the impact of positive ones.

                      Lastly, in any circumstance, you are your greatest barrier to success, which is why it’s important to always believe in yourself!

                      You will always have the power to be in control of your situation because your attitude is determined by you. So start harnessing all that positive thinking to turn those limitations into strengths!

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                      Featured photo credit: Photo by Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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