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10 Books Which Can Effectively Increase Our Emotional Quotient

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10 Books Which Can Effectively Increase Our Emotional Quotient

People pay a lot of attention to the intelligence quotient, or IQ, which can be a determinant for a successful career. Nevertheless, this score does not reflect the overall intelligence of a particular person. Emotional intelligence is just as important for maintaining successful relationships, working in teams, and adapting to different social and business environments.

Fortunately, there are proven strategies that help people boost their emotional know-how. What’s the best place to start? There are plenty of popular books focused on this matter. You should start by learning the fundamentals of the emotional intelligence concept. Once you have a solid base of emotional education, you will notice how your life is improved from different points of view.

Mark the following 10 books as “to read”; they offer great tips that will help you increase your EQ.

1. Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence – Michael Cornwall

1. Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence by Michael Cornwall

    This author wrote an amazing guide that helps people improve their emotional intelligence through practical exercises. Dr. Cornwall suggests that the process of boosting your EQ starts with commitment to self-development, as well as a complete transformation of the way you think and behave. Emotionally healthy people think before reacting. They are open-minded and independent. This book teaches you how to achieve that state.

    2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Travis Bradberry, Patrick Lencioni and Jean Greaves

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    2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Patrick Lencioni and Jean Greaves

      Bradberry, Lencioni and Greaves associate emotional intelligence with today’s stressful economic conditions and demanding workplaces. They suggest several tools that help people adapt to such environments and channel the negative emotions that result from them.

      The biggest advantage of this book is the program that enables people to boost their emotional wellbeing by following clear steps focused on foundational skills: social awareness, self-awareness, relationship management, and self-management.

      3. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ – Daniel Goleman

      3.	Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

        Dr. Goleman offers a direct face-off between EQ and IQ, explaining that intellectual intelligence doesn’t help us achieve self-improvement without the boost of a high EQ. Supporting his arguments with facts from neuroscience and psychology, the author helps us understand the crucial skills for success.

        The book is not abstract at all; Goleman also offers ideas on how people can improve their EQ, which will lead to better relationships, work performance, and physical well-being.

        4. The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work – Adele B. Lynn

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        4.	The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work

          You can find tons of information on emotional intelligence online. However, many of those articles are based on abstract terms that may help you to understand the concept of emotional wellbeing, but won’t help you actually to achieve it. That’s why it’s important to find a more elaborate book that guides you through the specific steps you can take towards your personal growth.

          Adele B. Lynn provides effective guidance for professionals at all levels. Her practical examples and tips help the readers understand the effects different emotions have on our values, relations, and performance in the workplace. Once you learn how to recognize those effects, you will be able to achieve greater professional success.

          5. The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success – Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book

          5.	The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success

            This book may easily become your long-term companion. Highly-developed intellect and creativity are truly necessary for successful performance on multiple levels, but the role of emotional intelligence is just as powerful. The EQ Edge teaches us why EQ is of crucial meaning when people are trying to progress at work, strengthen their relationships, boost their confidence, and become leaders.

            The book also includes a practical guide that enables all of us to improve relationships with other people, but with ourselves as well.

            6. The New Psycho-Cybernetics – Maxwell Maltz

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            6.	The New Psycho-Cybernetics

              This is an updated version of the influential book that Maxwell Maltz published in 1960. The concept of emotional intelligence is nothing new; people have been aware of its importance throughout the last century. The theory of psycho-cybernetics examines the process of controlling thoughts and emotions. This book will teach you how to transform them from negative to positive.

              With time, you will reprogram the way your mind processes information. That will enable you to achieve your career goals and improve your overall lifestyle.

              7. Building Emotional Intelligence – Linda Lantieri

              7.	Building Emotional Intelligence by Linda Lantieri

                If you are a parent, it’s important to help your children develop the foundations of EQ at an early age. The most important part of children’s development is not reading, science, or math. Rather, it’s the capacity that Linda Lantieri defines as inner resilience. The approach elaborated in this book can also be useful for adults interested in boosting their emotional intelligence.

                With the step-by-step guide, the author enables people to improve their focus and awareness, increase self-esteem and empathy, and improve their ability for effective communication.

                8. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change – Stephen R. Covey

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                8.	The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

                  This author presents a holistic approach for solving professional and personal problems. Although the book isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, it is an essential guide for everyone who wants to gain control over their emotions. Many of the 7 habits of effective people are closely linked to awareness of their inner state. Through anecdotes and penetrating insights, Covey teaches people how to live with integrity, dignity, and fairness.

                  9. The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book – Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

                  The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

                    This is one of the most accessible guides for achieving higher EQ. The authors of the book are renowned researchers of the phenomenon of emotional intelligence. In The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book, they offer effective tools that help people bring their chaotic personal and professional lives to balance.

                    This edition may seem short for such a deep concept, but it’s very effective because it gets straight to the point. It will help you assess your own EQ and build your “emotional immunity” at home and at work.

                    10. The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships – Jeanne Segal

                    The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships

                      This author doesn’t spend much time trying to convince you how important emotional intelligence is for the wellbeing of your relationships; you are supposed to know that already. The value of this book is in the fact that it enables you to apply the things you know in your everyday life. Jeanne Segal offers a practical guide based on research and real-life examples.

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                      The five basic tools elaborated in the book will help you enhance your relationships by improving your skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts, reading non-verbal signs, and boosting your capacity for clear communication.

                      Featured photo credit: Moyan Brenn via flickr.com

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                      Last Updated on October 21, 2021

                      How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

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                      How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

                      Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

                      Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

                      The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

                      Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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                      Program Your Own Algorithms

                      Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

                      Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

                      By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

                      How to Form a Ritual

                      I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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                      Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

                      1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
                      2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
                      3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
                      4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

                      Ways to Use a Ritual

                      Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

                      1. Waking Up

                      Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

                      2. Web Usage

                      How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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                      3. Reading

                      How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

                      4. Friendliness

                      Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

                      5. Working

                      One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

                      6. Going to the gym

                      If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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                      7. Exercise

                      Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

                      8. Sleeping

                      Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

                      8. Weekly Reviews

                      The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

                      Final Thoughts

                      We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

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                      Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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