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How To Exercise When You Would Rather Do Anything Else

How To Exercise When You Would Rather Do Anything Else

A lot of the time exercising seems like the last thing most would want to be doing. Alas, we can’t sit about eating pizza all day and stay healthy because the world is unfair. Stephen Guise of Dumb Little Man shares some secrets on how to get motivated and do that work out you’ve been putting off:

All I wanted to do was exercise for 30 minutes, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I sat down, feeling defeated and overwhelmed. What was in my way? In the previous six weeks, I was inactive and my desire to be in great shape was not being fulfilled, but destroyed. Because of this, I realized that I wanted to cram all of the workouts I had missed into this one. The pressure of everything I hadn’t done weighed on me.

What I discovered next changed my life.

The Surprise Breakthrough Came From Considering The Opposite Of A Huge Workout

Months earlier, I had read a book called Thinkertoys by Michael Michalko, which is a book about creative thinking. In the book, Michalko lists several creative thinking “toys” to use to generate creative ideas. The one that changed my life was called “false faces.”

In “false faces,” you take your current ideas and flip them around to consider the opposite. For building a skyscraper, you might instead consider building something that went far down into the earth.

The opposite of doing an overwhelming workout gave me the idea of doing a single push-up. Immediately, I questioned my sanity. But as I continued to sit there, frozen, this idea would resurface, and eventually I gave in.

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To my surprise, it worked.

How One Push-Up Became A Full Workout

I got down into push-up position and did my one push-up, but since I was already there, I figured I’d do a few extra. I did about 15 push-ups in the first set, and my muscles were warmed up.

Then I set a new goal – do a single pull-up. I didn’t hesitate for this easy goal and did one, and then chose to do several more.

It felt like I had stumbled upon a gold mine. I couldn’t seem to fail with this strategy. Since I was out of shape, my body wanted to quit early, but I continued to lead it along slowly, like a dog with a trail of ham shavings.

“Ok, just two more push-ups. Now one more. Ok, two more.”

Abs were next, but I hate ab workouts more than anything, so I decided to just press play on a youtube ab workout video, and then to set up my mat, and then to get down on the mat, and then to do the first exercise. I finished the 10 minute program and my midsection was on fire.

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When it was over, that single push-up became a solid 30 minute workout.

Three Tips To Overcome Exercise Resistance 

1. Start stupid small (SSS)

This little trick really works.

Maybe you’ve heard elsewhere that it’s good to start small, but that isn’t specific enough. I have a clarifying rule I use that works EVERY time for me – make the first step “stupid small.” That just means that the first step should be so small that you sound ridiculous saying it. The effectiveness comes from an almost guaranteed start, which is, as they say, the hardest part. The momentum you build from starting stupid small is the perfect opportunity to ramp up into a bigger accomplishment.

From my late teens until late twenties (about ten years), I tried to exercise consistently. Consistency was off and on for those ten years, until I started The One Push-up Challenge.

I did one push-up per day minimum. On days I needed to work out, it was a great boost. On days I didn’t, it was no problem. Some nights in bed I would remember, “Oh no! I didn’t do my push-up today,” and flip over to do my push-up in bed just to meet the requirement.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but exercise was becoming a habit for me, just from this small requirement. And I’m happy to say that for the last three months, I have gone to the gym 3-6 times a week. It is easy and enjoyable because it’s a habit.

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I’m not the only one either. A couple told me that they used this strategy to just get through the warmup for the insanity workout program, and told me, “we are now onto our 4th week and getting stronger and stronger day by day.”

Here are some stupid small step examples you can try:
•    Do one push-up.
•    Put gym shorts on.
•    Drive to the gym (this is my objective for gym days).

2. Don’t simply desire to change – place an expectation there

A key part of my success has come from placing an expectation to exercise, as opposed to thinking that I’ll “do my best.”

This works because expectations are pre-determined decisions, not something you have to get pumped up for. Don’t make it a decision. People are more consistent going to work than going to the gym because there is an expectation for them to be at work, but the gym is seen as optional. Why not make a trip to the gym an expected part of your schedule?

This trick scales nicely with starting stupid small, because in the early days, you will merely expect to do one push-up, which is very easy to meet. Later on, your self-discipline will strengthen and you can up the ante by expecting to drive to the gym several days a week (like I do now).

3. Don’t cheat!

It can be tempting to think, “I’ll need to do a lot more than one to make it worthwhile.” This is an honorable thought, but it undermines the whole operation. If you say you have to do one push-up, but you feel like you have to do 20, then you might as well change your goal to 20 push-ups. By aiming for one push-up minimum, you’re tricking your brain to start exercising. After you begin, you’ll feel less resistance and will likely do more.

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While on some days I did a single push-up, most days were at least ten. And I have to say, even at small amounts like that, you can feel the difference from daily exercise.

This is especially important in the beginning; you need to be satisfied even if you only do the tiny step that you promised to do. Everything beyond that is pure bonus. I encourage you to set micro-goals after that point too. Completing seven small goals to get to 20 push-ups is the same as completing one goal to do 20 push-ups. But with the first one, you’ll get the satisfaction of completing seven goals. These micro-successes feel surprisingly great.

Of course, these goals are so small that they may be better defined as steps, but you can treat each step as a “micro-goal” with its own micro-reward.

BONUS: By doing this “the small way,” you’re training yourself to expect to accomplish your goals. The high success rate of these tiny goals builds confidence. If you’ve been intimidated by the size of your fitness goals, you can start today to build a foundation with small, stupid goals.

Remember, it is better to succeed with 100 tiny goals than to fail one giant goal. It’s great to have bigger aspirations and dreams, but these should be broken down into steps that you can and will take. If you feel resistance, it means you’re using up willpower, which is a limited, and therefore, an undependable resource. As you feel resistance, go smaller and smaller until it seems easy.

Make your steps like sand – individually tiny, but significant when combined – and you can climb any of your personal mountains.

Besides writing for his own blogs Stephen Guise is a featured writer here at Dumb Little Man. Be sure to stop by Stephen’s ‘featured writer page‘ right here on Dumb Little Man to find links to more of his articles.

Lack Of Motivation? Here’s How To Exercise When You Don’t Feel Like It | Dumb Little Man

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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