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How You Can Be Calm Even When Things Get Rough

How You Can Be Calm Even When Things Get Rough

When life gets rough, sometimes it’s hard not to fall apart and sink deep into an abyss of negative emotions. Have you ever wondered how some people can be so calm during the most turbulent times while others can’t? Would you like to adopt some coping strategies that keep you calm during the bad phases of your life? Here are 9 things you can do to get through tough times with a level head.

1. Cry if you need to—for a while.

Some people are more emotional than others. But repressing your emotions doesn’t always help. If you do repress them, it’s like holding a beach ball under the water. You can do it for a while, but it will eventually come back to the surface—and sometimes in an explosive manner. So have a good cry once in a while. Let the emotions out in order to help yourself think more clearly afterwards.

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2. Then stop the crying and put your logical side into the driver’s seat.

Once you let your emotions out, make a decision to put your emotional side in the passenger’s seat and let your logical side drive. Logic will help you stay calm and focused during chaos. If you let your emotions out with a good cry or two, you can shift mental gears and do the next step: solve the problem.

3. Be solution-oriented.

Dwelling on the negatives won’t change anything. Let’s say you just lost your job. Maybe it was shock. So you’ve had your cry and/or the time of freaking out, and then you made the decision to put your logical hat on. Now look at the possibilities. Start applying for jobs. Think about a career change or starting your own business. Look at the actions you can take to make your situation better. Then do something.

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4. Remove yourself from the situation if you can.

Maybe you didn’t lose your job—but you hate your job. Or your boss. Or your co-workers. Maybe you’re in an abusive or loveless relationship. If there is any possible way for you to remove yourself from a negative situation, then do it. Staying and dwelling on the negatives won’t make you happier or calmer. Sometimes you just need to get out so you can have a better life.

5. Keep things in perspective.

Sometimes what we think is a tragedy isn’t really a tragedy. It may just feel like one. As I look back on my life, some of the things that I thought were the end of the world were really just stepping stones. I like to ask myself the question, “At the end of my life, am I going to look back at this problem and feel that it was significant? Or will I just laugh at how upset I was over it?” If you can give your problems a new perspective like that, it will help you stay calm. Sure, some problems really are huge. But many of them are not—we just think they are.

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6. Remember that it won’t last forever.

One of my favorite quotes is: “The only thing constant is change.”  While that’s an ironic statement, it’s actually very true. No one stays in once place. It might feel like you’re staying in the same place, but time marches on. If you take action to make a better life for yourself, then you are claiming your power and taking that first step toward being happier.

7. Ask for help.

Unfortunately, a lot of people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It’s not! Where has it ever been written that everyone needs to go through their problems alone? Nowhere! Having other people support you—either emotionally or by actually doing something to help—will make you feel like you have less of a burden on your shoulders. Less burden equals more calm, collected, and lighter feelings.

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8. Realize that it could be worse.

Another thing that helps me keep calm during tough times is that I always remember that there are a lot worse things that could be happening. Maybe you did lose your job, but at least you have your health and perhaps family members to help you get back on your feet. Somewhere in the world, someone has it a lot worse than you do right at this moment. I know it doesn’t always feel that way, but many times, it’s true.

9. Believe that things will get better.

Hope. Hope is everything. If you don’t believe that things will change, then they won’t. I always love to quote Henry Ford when he said, “Whether you think you can—or you think you can’t—either way, you are right.” If you think things will get better, then they eventually will. If you think they won’t, then they won’t. Your beliefs shape your experience.
Staying calm when life gets rough takes practice, but it can be done. If you practice these steps on a regular basis, eventually it will become second nature to you.
 

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on September 25, 2019

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

When we were still children, our thoughts seemed to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

Just imagine then, how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power!

We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities.

We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

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We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb.

We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits.

And we’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head…

But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

So, how can we tap into the power of positivity?

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“Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are 4 simple yet powerful ideas on how you can get started.

1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

Just take a look at these 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

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You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty.

If you seek it, you will find it.

3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what really is important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life that can inspire you.

4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking.

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Instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

Learn from this article how to change your mental images: How to Think Positive and Eliminate Negative Thoughts

If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

And remember:

You are (or will become) what you think you are.

This is reasonable enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

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Featured photo credit: Lauren Richmond via unsplash.com

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