Advertising
Advertising

How I Overcame Anxiety By Upgrading My Nervous System

How I Overcame Anxiety By Upgrading My Nervous System

If you’ve ever felt like your world emotionally flipped upside down, like everyday there was another helpless panic attack and that no one could possibly understand you, then this post is especially dedicated to you. I know there are many people who have experienced and endured worse than me, and I feel for them, and I know what it feels like to hit emotional rock bottom.

This is just my story with the intention of acknowledging you and inspiring you to make adversity your calling to greatness.

How it all began

opportunities campbell quote

    I woke up in my uncle’s house feeling the buzzing of my cellphone at 6:36 a.m. It’s Tim – my friend from Hamburg. He invited me with his group to come down to Munich and enjoy the Oktoberfest celebrations. I begin to remember moments of last night, drinking great beer with my fellow Germans and I began laughing out loud (yes, by myself) at the funny memories we enjoyed.

    I looked down and realize that I’m still wearing my Lederhosen and that there are a bunch of Tigers Milk protein bar wrappers all over the floor. Probably my forgotten late night snacks. I walked over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and that’s when shit hit the fan.

    I looked in the mirror at my pale skin and weak body and I felt so confused. I tried hard to remember what happened yesterday, especially last night, and I kept remembering up until one point where my memory just blacked out.

    When I checked my pockets, I realized my wallet was missing. Did I get mugged, drugged, beaten, assaulted, molested, injected with something? These were the thoughts that were going through my mind with a new, unfamiliar and terrified feeling sinking in my body. I closely examined my body for any bruises, cuts and damage. I didn’t find anything, however my body was shaking and I still felt terrified…and I couldn’t find out why.

    My uncle called me to go eat breakfast and I hardly had the strength to lift the fork without jittering. I started to feel an uncomfortable sensation of heat rise in my stomach like I’ve never felt before, a lump of constriction in my throat, numbness and tingling across different areas of my body, nerve twitches in my right foot and my left eye, and a feeling like I wanted to puke and couldn’t (a different sensation than wanting to puke from drinking too much alcohol).

    Ultimately, I felt like something was very, very wrong and like there was no way out and like I had no idea what it was. And in that, I felt completely helpless.

    I told my uncle what was going on and he escorted me to a nearby hospital. The first wasn’t helpful and didn’t have a diagnosis for any of the symptoms I was experiencing. This started to freak me out even more. I went to another hospital and they wanted to charge me more than 1,000 Euros to run basic tests on me with a consultation.

    I gave up on the hospitals and went home. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and that’s when it really hit me – I felt like I lost my sense of self, like what psychologists call an identity crisis, and that freaked me out.

    I was hoping this uncanny feeling of fear would go away after that day, and that I could continue on with the Oktoberfest festivities joyfully and continue on with my round the world journey. Unfortunately, I found myself living the next 15 months of my life living in a state of constant anxiety.

    For the first three months, I was in a state of anxiety almost 24/7. I’d feel anxious and afraid for no real reason and I felt stuck that way, like there was no way out and like there was danger always around. Danger to what? I didn’t even know.

    Advertising

    What I tried

    insanity quote

      I tried so many different tools, strategies, books, programs – you name it – to fix this problem that I seemingly could never get to the root of. I went to a psychologist for a few visits, which I literally had to be dragged into going to because I didn’t think their form of therapy was effective nor did I think anyone would be able to relate to me.

      The psychologist ended up being a good man, but the visit still didn’t help fix my problems. I went onto searching the web for the symptoms I was experiencing and the results I came up with led to having an anxiety disorder, OCD, and an identity crisis.

      Great, how do I fix this? That question kept me in a never-ending loop of pain and frustration. Focusing on trying to fix anxiety and OCD is like a dog trying to catch his tail: it’s pointless, and you’ll never fix it because focusing on trying to fix it is only feeding your emotional pattern to continue to exist, grow and have a stronger grip on your life.

      I soon learned that avoiding and managing the pain only creates more pain in your life.

      How it didn’t work

      10000 edison quote

        So my self-experimentation of trying to fix it didn’t work off the knowledge I got from the internet, ebooks and forums. I started to think that maybe I had inherited some gene that my mom and grandma had because they worry so often, and that because of that I had to look beyond the ordinary western health care culture to find some extraordinary treatment.

        I then learned about eastern philosophy, practices, meditation and the chakras and thought it sounded so far off funky and kind of cool…it had to be my solution out of this emotional shithole. I even did a 10 day Vipassana silent meditation retreat, which was really a unique experience. Meditating helped me feel more calm, however it mainly only did so while I was in the state of meditation. Not when I was out actually living my life.

        Chakras…well, I felt like I always had to balance my chakras, things which I never really knew what the Hell they were, and that this was a never ending game of balancing them. Although the concept of chakras seemed cool, practicing the chakra meditations were unsuccessful for me in really making transformative progress.

        I then started watching intervention videos of Tony Robbins and grew extremely fascinated with his ability to effectively communicate and influence rapid and powerful transformation for people. I saw a video where Tony helped a man discover the root cause of his stuttering pattern of over 30 years. He helped him turn it around to speak confidently, clearly and effectively in a shorter amount of time, and Rechaud ended up speaking to an audience of more than 5,000 people.

        I thought this was the jackpot and that Tony was the man who could certainly help me, and that by watching and learning from his videos and programs I could help myself move beyond any obstacles in my life and thrive and I could also help everyone around me however they wanted and needed help. I learned swoosh patterns, neuro associative conditioning and his philosophy on the six human needs.

        They are all great things, and I love the six human needs and regularly relate to them in my life, however these tools I used by myself only helped me feel a little less anxious regularly and little more comfortable with anxiety. Then I saw an ad for his coaching program. I thought the next best thing to having an intervention with Tony is to work with one of his top trainers.

        And so I did. And although that helped me grasp more inner power and direction in my life, I still felt underlying anxiety pop up throughout my day. Not as much as before it seemed, but maybe that’s also because a year had gone by already and I had grown more comfortable experiencing the feeling.

        Advertising

        How I discovered an extraordinary solution

        letgocampbell quote

          A few months into working with my coach, I attended Tony’s most popular event: Date with Destiny. One day, Tony shared a story about how he was looking for a solution for his wife’s motion sickness. He mentioned how he went on a quest and tried about everything and that nothing worked really, and that he was willing to try anything at this point help his wife.

          A friend told him about a man named Donny Epstein, a healer who has trained thousands of chiropractors worldwide to help people heal from pain, tension and trauma, sometimes without any physical contact. Donny was introduced to us in the crowd and his website was shown up on the projector screen, and I just happened to jot down the link.

          Fast forward three days after Date With Destiny and I’m bedridden sick in a dark room with the most sever bronchitis I’d ever had in my life. I’m in pain physically and emotionally, feeling intense back pain, muscle spasms, and that feeling of fear and anxiety is creeping up. At the time I had been working with an upper cervical chiropractor who helped me experience greater range of motion in my neck, comfort in my body, and the only issue was I was in a different city at this point when I was sick.

          I checked on my phone to see if there were any upper cervical chiropractors nearby and I couldn’t find anybody who was available. In my hopelessness and misery, I turned open my DWD notebook and I just happened to flip on the page with the website address to find practitioners Donny has trained. I almost desperately started making calls to see who was available. Only one answered, and she invited me to her workshop that same night.

          I drove there and arrived early, waiting eagerly to experience this phenomenal care that Tony Robbins spoke so highly about. As I entered the office and met the other and “practice members” as they are called, I experienced an energized educational presentation about how our spine and nervous system influence the quality of our lives and why we need to upgrade our nervous system to live an extraordinary, healthy life.

          During the majority of this presentation, I was slouching in my seat feeling sick, drained on energy and feeling skeptical. Then the fun began, as two practice members came up to show us a demonstration of the NSA care session. I was blown away. The practitioner hardly touched one woman’s spine and it just started wiggling and oscillating. It was a movement that didn’t look like it could just be made up – it was like magic.

          Then she made another contact and said, “Emotional intelligence,” and the other woman on the table let out a big yell. I alertly perked my head up with fascination and confusion.

          “Soul,” she said, and a woman expanded her chest out with her arms wide as she started singing with an angelic high pitched tone. Another woman began crying with the next contact. At the end of it, both women got off the table looking more energized and happy.

          How that solution helped me transform

          donny epstein quote front out

            I was so confused, excited, nervous and in awe. She smiled at me and said that it was my turn. Before I got up, I had one thought flash through my mind that terrified me. If that’s what’s coming out of them, then what the hell is going to come out of me? I went on the table and next thing I know, I feel this sensation, like a little spark, and my body began to expand when I breathed in.

            As I exhaled, I felt tension unwind with a rush of heat that flowed through my body. A few more contacts, and then I was done. I sat up and she asked me if I could think about my problems. I couldn’t. In fact, my mind felt clear, I felt peaceful and I had more energy too. After the first entrainment, I felt like I woke up from a nightmare.

            I signed up to receive entrainments regularly and was introduced to another healing protocol Donny developed that I could do by myself: SRI (somato-respiratory integration). Using SRI techniques, I was able to connect to parts of my body where I felt disconnected and tense before, only to open up to more peace, flexibility and energy as I’d feel the blood and breath flow smoothly throughout my body.

            Advertising

            The anxiety I’d experienced began to have less of a grip on me, and after my third entrainment, my practitioner informed me that when people are stuck in a posture of defense and trauma, they will loop through and perceive life as danger if they are still in this defensive mode like they’re stuck in the same perspective experiencing the same traumatic experience. I felt the emotion of anxiety loosen its grip on my life as I began to acknowledge and accept the feeling, without trying to change it.

            I continued on receiving care at the office, went to a program called the Transformational Gate, and soon afterward moved on to a new office where I met Eli, a wise and seasoned practitioner that just clicked with me. After a while of consistently receiving care, I became aware of more unexpected benefits.

            The recurring knee tension that prevented me from playing collegiate soccer dissipated. I grew over an inch taller, I discovered a wider range of emotions that I could experience and utilize as fuel for my life, my thought patterns were more healthy and I’ve had more moments of pure presence with the absence of mental chatter, and most importantly, I started to find a gift in my pain.

            As my nervous system upgraded, my consciousness upgraded as well. What I mean by that is, my self-awareness has expanded and continues to expand. I’m more aware of what supports me to feel more energized and fueled for growth, contribution, joy, love and fulfillment in life.

            I’m more aware of the decisions I make and my “inner voice” on which decisions I feel are the best to make. For more than a year, I had no idea how and why I ended up in the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pitfall that I did. Now, I feel it was a perfect divine intervention I needed at the time because it has guided me to learn and adapt amazing life strategies that have greatly improved my life and others with whom I’ve shared them with as well.

            It was the perfect thing I needed at the time to shape and mold me to become who I am and who I’m growing to become.

            How this wasn’t a quick fix my problems, and how it was an extraordinary solution for my life

            forces of change donny epstein quote

              I must say, network spinal analysis and SRI aren’t magical pills to solve all of your problems and challenges. However, NSA and SRI are outstanding tools to help you reboot and upgrade your nervous system to a higher functioning order so you instantaneously becoming a greater version of yourself.

              Throughout receiving care and living my life, it wasn’t always happy and upbeat. I had days where I spontaneously broke down in tears as I would remember an emotionally traumatic event from years ago. I’ve remembered events that I seemingly forgot about, where I felt so enraged. I’ve felt the deep pain of feeling like I wasn’t giving my gifts to the world.

              The key difference of these experiences in comparison to what my struggle to eliminate anxiety was like is this: I consciously felt and experienced these spontaneous memories. Through feeling and doing so, I felt a great sense of relief, lightness and energy flow throughout my body. I felt like I healed a lot more than what I originally was expecting.

              Since then, I’ve experienced how, when I would seek to avoid and get rid of feelings that I didn’t like by throwing it in the back of my mind, it would show up in my spine. And I knew it would show up in my spine because the network practitioners I’ve worked with always seemed to know the theme of what was going on in my life.

              Why? Our central nervous system is located along our spines. We process information through our nervous system and whatever information, feelings, thoughts and parts of us that we neglect, avoid, alienate will show up as interferences in our nervous system along our spinal cord.

              Overall, I became much more self-aware and through that awareness I was able to acknowledge and accept whatever it was I avoided feeling. I then came to perceive my previous “wound” as a “gift”. And that’s how I overcame anxiety.

              Advertising

              Where I once lived in anxiety, I now feel gratitude. Where I once felt like I lost my identity, I realized I’ve expanded my identity, and that who I am expands beyond my sense of self, and that we are all interconnected in the bond of humanity, like the cells of planet Earth.

              Where I once felt immense physical and emotional pain in my body, I now feel flexible and energized. Where I once dreaded symptoms, I realize the wonderful interruptions they are to bring my attention to an area of life that’s calling my attention.

              Everyone and everything along the journey has served a purpose, each providing value in their own ways. And although I have learned and adapted many great tools for life, I feel that the strategies I’ve implemented from NSA care and SRI along with the wonderful practitioners I’ve worked with have played the most significant role in how I overcame anxiety. And, more importantly, how I claimed my health, personal power and life.

              Why you need to upgrade your nervous system now, whether you experience anxiety or not

              eli reboot quote

                As of now, it’s been 15 months since I began receiving network care. Since then I’ve introduced it to my family, girlfriend and friends. Each of them has mentioned to me that they feel upgrades in their overall health and that they each feel peaceful, energized and alive.

                The funny thing is we get updates for our phones, computers and technology regularly…yet how often do we as a species get an update on our “internal computer”, our nervous system? That being said, this is what I have to conclude with…

                If you are reading this and have felt stuck in your patterns of anxiety, I encourage you to receive care from a network chiropractor and enjoy the long-term benefits that come naturally right now.

                If you are reading this and know someone who’s suffered greatly in their emotional pattern of anxiety or depression, I encourage you to show them this article and help them connect with a network practitioner now.

                If you are reading this article and want to know how to evolve and grow greater than you thought imaginable by upgrading your nervous system, I encourage you to work with a network practitioner and experience the benefits that will super charge your life and those around you now.

                If you are really determined to experience something so out of the ordinary and powerfully healing, then I recommend you experience care from Donny Epstein himself. The man is like the Harry Potter for your spine. You can work with him by signing up for one of his premiere programs.

                Featured photo credit: Shawshank Redemption – Andy Dufrense freedom via actfourscreenplays.com

                More by this author

                9 Wonderful Benefits Of Traveling 8 Gifts That Rites Of Passage Have To Offer 9 Awesome Strategies For Living A More Energized Life 8 Signs You’ve Discovered Your Calling 29 Signs You Might Be An Entrepreneur (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

                Trending in Health

                1 How to Stop Overeating the Healthy Way (Step-by-Step Guide) 2 10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today 3 10 Books On Health That Increase Your Eating And Body Awareness 4 Will a Weight Loss Cleanse Really Improve Your Health? 5 Intermittent Fasting Weight Loss (The Ultimate Weight Loss Hack)

                Read Next

                Advertising
                Advertising
                Advertising

                Last Updated on October 14, 2020

                How to Be Confident: 51 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

                How to Be Confident: 51 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

                When you learn how to be confident, you can use it in your everyday life to tackle all of your goals and challenges. However, not many people realize that learning how to gain self-confidence is like building a muscle—it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.

                Here I will give you 51 proven ways to overcome a lack of self-confidence and achieve more.

                1. Learn Something New

                Sign up for that evening class and enjoy it. Alternatively, read a book (or take an online course) on a topic you’ve always wanted to learn more about.

                Learning new things stretches your abilities, keeps your mind active, and most definitely improves your confidence in your ability to do new things.

                2. Ask Your Partner or a Friend What You Can Do For Them

                This can be something as easy as helping them with a chore they don’t like or have little time for. Through helping them, you’ll find that you feel better about yourself.

                3. Hit the Gym

                The physiological effects of going to the gym will leave you feeling great.

                Countless studies have shown that regular workouts at the gym can boost not only your sense of well-being, but can increase your self-esteem, too[1].

                4. Go to a Networking Event

                Rather than being nervous about your own stuff, focus on how to help others. Instead of going along with the aim of trying to sell yourself to others, why not change your approach and simply go along to see how you can help the people you meet?

                By doing this, you’ll come across as calm, confident, and someone that people will want to turn to again and again.

                5. Get Clear on the Things That Matter to You

                If these things are not in your life, you’ll need to bring them in.

                For example, if your daily work routine is currently as dull as dishwater—but you’d like it to be fun—then do something about it. Turn data entry into personal speed contests, paper filing into “screen-free” time, and interactions with your colleagues into enjoyable conversations.

                6. Remove Negativity From Your Life

                Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize, or diminish each one.

                I personally like to do this with pen and paper as it feels just a little more real and definite than on screen. It’s also a good idea to put the priority items at the top of your list, so you can begin resolving these first.

                7. Celebrate Your Big and Small Wins

                Look at the big or small goals you’ve completed, and give yourself credit for your part in it.

                Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.

                8. Converse With New People

                Go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know. By doing this, you may be pleasantly surprised by what—or who—you’ll discover.

                You can also extend this trait by breaking outside of your normal social situations at your workplace. This will do wonders when learning how to be confident.

                9. Do Something You Would Normally Say No to

                Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project, etc.), go and do it anyway. This is a great way to boost personal development.

                10. Do One Thing Each Day That Makes You Smile

                This could be something as simple as sending a thank you email to a colleague that has been helpful to you, or leaving a surprise present for your partner that they’ll discover when they wake up.

                Life shouldn’t be drudgery, and we all need to make the effort to keep it light, loving, and fun.

                11. Give Yourself Good Advice

                Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or overthinking.

                Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back—what would you want to say to them?

                This is known as Soloman’s Paradox—we’re often quite good at solving others’ problems but not our own. Challenge this and take your own good advice next time[2].

                12. Ask Someone on a Date

                If you’re single and have met someone that you’re definitely attracted to—go ahead and ask them out.

                Advertising

                Even if they turn you down, it will help you learn how to be confident through the fact that you were decisive and made an effort. What’s the best thing that could happen? They might just say yes!

                13. Write Down 20 Things That Make You Feel Good

                Think of this as a gratitude list. Typical things you might include are: your partner, your kids, your parents, your pets, etc.

                I recommend writing this list at least once a month. And most importantly—make sure you’re giving the 20 things plenty of room in your life.

                14. Stop Playing Different Roles

                Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect of you.

                Be your authentic self, the one who knows what to do and loves what they do. It’s easy to find this part of yourself as it’s inherent in your hobbies and your close friendships.

                If you can bring this authenticity into your work life, you’ll be surprised at how positively others will react to you.

                15. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

                Learn to catch yourself every time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get, or aren’t good enough to get what you want[3].

                Talk yourself up when learning how to be confident.

                  Instead, tell yourself that you can have, will get, and are good enough to get what you want. Mindset is everything. Make sure yours is positive and dynamic.

                  16. Take Yourself off Auto-Pilot

                  Make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.

                  For instance, if you normally work 9 to 5 but find yourself spending hours getting to and from work, why not negotiate with your boss to mix your hours up a bit?

                  You might also suggest a day or two working from home. Sell this to your boss by reminding them that the time and stress lost to commuting can be neatly transferred to productive work hours.

                  17. Listen Carefully to What You Tell Yourself

                  Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself, and look for a way to improve your inner dialogue.

                  If you normally find that your inner dialogue is negative, then break out of this by asking yourself questions such as:

                  • What would make this easier?
                  • Is there a different way of doing this?
                  • Could research help?

                  18. Laugh at Yourself

                  Scared of looking silly? It’s no biggie, so don’t let it stop you.

                  Whenever we try something new, there’s a fair chance that we’ll make fools of ourselves. But you’d be a bigger fool to let that stop you. Instead, laugh at your baby steps and watch your confidence soar as you begin to master your chosen activity.

                  19. Listen to Your Doubts

                  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards. Other times, they are just doubts.

                  The trick is to quickly determine if your doubts have validity. If they do, use them to shape your decisions.

                  To illustrate this, imagine that you’ve had an enticing job offer, but you doubt whether you’re capable of doing the job. Spend a little time analyzing your doubts to see whether they reflect reality, or whether they are just negative thoughts that are trying to hold you back.

                  20. Recall a Time When You Did a Great Job

                  Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position, and you were firing on all cylinders. What were you doing, and what’s the reason it felt so great? Can you emulate that passion and drive that you had?

                  21. Tear up Your Rule Book

                  You may not know it, but you’ve almost certainly got a whole bunch of outdated rules that determine what you do and don’t do. These rules limit your thinking and your behavior.

                  It’s time to change them. Tear up this subconscious rule book and toss it in the fire. Once you’ve done this, you’ll immediately notice how free you feel to make challenging and exciting decisions.

                  22. Ask Yourself What You Have Gained When You Lose

                  Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back from an opportunity?

                  Firstly, don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse. Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.

                  Advertising

                  Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?

                  23. Don’t Let People Put You Down

                  If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on. 

                  Trust me, once you’ve told them, they’ll change, and you will, too. Inevitably, you’ll boost both your confidence and happiness by taking control of your life in this way.

                  Learn how to get out of toxic relationships in this article.

                  24. Reveal a Little Bit of the Real You

                  Relationships can be difficult. They can also lose their zest and become stale. If this happens in your relationship, then it’s time to add some magic to the mix.

                  Try revealing something interesting about yourself or your past that your partner doesn’t currently know when learning how to be confident. Perhaps you never mentioned to them that you used to play in a rock band—and you still have the recordings to prove it!

                  By adding new things to your relationship, you’ll deepen the bond and keep the spark alive.

                  25. Be Your Own Hero

                  Recognize that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in—no matter how tough the going gets.

                  We all love movies like Die Hard where ordinary people are driven to super-ordinary feats. But here’s the rub: you can be your own action hero.

                  Whatever the situation, meet it head on and overcome it. Keep in mind the classic phrase: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

                  26. Don’t Give in to the Instant Pay-off

                  If I was to offer you $100 now for a day’s work tomorrow or $110 for the same work, but I won’t pay you for a week, which would you choose? Well, I can’t read your mind, but I do know that studies using a similar question to this have found that most people choose the instant, smaller payment over the latter, bigger payment. It seems that we’re hardwired for instant gratification.

                  However, if you want to be a success in life, always look at the bigger picture. In the example above, if you could have only waited seven more days, you would have been $10 richer!

                  27. Instead of Yelling “I Deserve Better,” Say “I Can Be Better”

                  Too often I hear people complaining about their personal circumstances but refusing to do anything about it. Don’t be like them.

                  If things aren’t going your way, find solutions and implement them. Your boldness and decisiveness will boost your confidence and help you rapidly climb the ladder of success.

                  28. Admit You’re Wrong

                  It may not be easy, but you should always be prepared to hold your hands up and change your mind if things are going south. Not every idea you have will be a winning one. The trick is to know when things are clearly not working out.

                  You can either attempt to get them back on track or kill them off completely (sometimes that’s the best way).

                  29. Trust Your Instincts

                  We all have our gut feelings and intuitions, but many people choose to ignore them and rely only on facts, facts, and more facts! While this may work for many scenarios, there will be other times when you’ll need to rely on your instincts.

                  30. Imagine Your Confident Future Self

                  Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive, and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be. What do they want to tell you?

                  They might praise your efforts, but they may also criticize your lack of planning and weak goals.

                  Luckily, if you listen closely to what they tell you, you’ll be able to rapidly shift gears in your life and become the you of the future!

                  31. Ask for Help

                  This is a common issue. We take on way too many responsibilities and end up either burning ourselves out or just doing a bad job!

                  The secret is to put the vast majority of your energy and efforts into what you do well. Give the stuff you don’t do well to others who have a gift for it. Sometimes the most confident and effective thing to do is ask for help.

                  32. Be Around People Who Make You Feel Like You

                  Do this by spending more time with the people who support and encourage you and less time with those who undermine you.

                  At work, don’t be ruined by negative, petty people. Instead, make sure you surround yourself with colleagues who make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

                  Advertising

                  33. Participate in the World Around You

                  Ask yourself this question: “What can I participate in that’s important to me?”

                  Typically, this could be your church, a sports club, or even just a weekly get together with your best friend.

                  34. Develop Skills to Work on Things That Matter to You

                  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?

                  If you want to climb the corporate ladder, for example, then develop the skills needed to do this. These might include: effective project management skills, powerful presentation abilities, and superb goal setting skills.

                  Of course, don’t forget that emulating those who have already achieved your goal is one of the quickest and most reliable ways for you to achieve your aims, too.

                  35. Act Until You Make It

                  The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body language into a confident state can have surprising results.

                  This is all about acting. If you want to come across as tough, act tough. If you want to come across as successful, act successful. And if you want to come across as confident, act confident.

                  Try doing these things, and you’ll be amazed by the results.

                  36. Push Through When You Want to Give up

                  Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on. Push through, and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.

                  37. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

                  Keep comparing yourself to others? Stop it. If you want to learn how to be confident, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison—you’re just peachy as you are.

                  Social media often makes this difficult. Try stepping away from your Facebook page for a few days and reconnect with the great things in your own life.

                  You can get started with this guide.

                  38. Speak up When You Can Make a Difference

                  Speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.

                  Have you noticed that quiet people at work rarely get the promotions? It’s not that they are incapable or lacking talent, but their abilities are usually overlooked as they don’t know how to engage with others or how to sell themselves.

                  Step out of your comfort zone and be sure that you’re an active player. Speak up in meetings by suggesting ideas and offering constructive criticism.

                  39. Stop Struggling and Start Accepting

                  If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it. Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.

                  Life offers endless mysteries. If you try to resolve them all you’ll drive yourself insane. Instead, let some mysteries remain, and keep your mind focused on your goals and dreams.

                  40. It’s Okay to Be Shy

                  There’s nothing wrong with being shy, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a confident person.

                  If you suffer from shyness, you might think it’s a major weakness of yours. However, introverted people have the edge in many ways, such as: they’re first-rate listeners, they have excellent observational skills, and they’re easier to trust[4].

                  41. Clean up Your Environment

                  Your environment directly impacts your self-perception. So, if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork, and rubbish, put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organized.

                  42. Write a List of Things You Would Love to Do

                  Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you. This will help you get started as you learn how to be confident

                  Even if you don’t currently have the means to live your dreams, you can, at the very least, make a start. The best way to do this is to write out the things you’d love to do. These may include cool stuff, such as travelling the world, learning a new language, or climbing a mountain.

                  Once you’ve added the items to your list, don’t stop there. Begin researching and preparing ways to turn your dreams into realities.

                  43. Make Your Self-Worth Independent From Others’ Validation

                  Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.

                  Advertising

                  While it’s difficult to admit it, we often find ourselves rating our self-esteem by the value other people put on us.

                  For instance, you may have a super-positive boss who is always encouraging and supportive. They make you feel upbeat and confident at all times.

                  However, imagine if they left and your new boss was the complete opposite. They constantly look for faults in your work and regularly criticize you. Would you still feel confident in those circumstances?

                  If you’ve answered no, then you need to reappraise your self-worth, as it shouldn’t be dependent on the validation of others.

                  44. Use Your Strengths

                  We all have our weaknesses, but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.

                  For instance, are you aware that Virgin’s founder Richard Branson suffers from dyslexia? He never let this hold him back or destroy his confidence. Today, he is one of the world’s most successful men, with a net worth of approximately $5 billion[5].

                  45. Complete a To-Do List

                  The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list, the more it’ll drain you, and the bigger it’ll seem. Get it done and free yourself up.

                  If you have a big goal, break it down into smaller tasks. For instance, instead of trying to write a whole chapter of your book in one go, how about just writing the opening paragraph?

                  46. Treat Your Body Well

                  When learning how to be confident, our body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body, you won’t feel confident in yourself.

                  What’s one of the first things most of us do when we get up in the morning? We look in the mirror. If we don’t like what we see there, then our day starts off with negative self-talk. If, on the other hand, we look in the mirror and feel proud of our appearance, then we start the day off in an upbeat, positive way.

                  If you’re unhappy with your body and looks, do something to improve them. Exercise, diet, and styling are common ways of improving your body image—and your confidence.

                  47. Learn to Say No

                  Don’t say yes to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat. You can politely decline requests you can’t meet without needing to create excuses.

                  While saying yes to everything that comes your way might feel like you’re being helpful and in demand, in the long run, you’ll burn yourself out.

                  48. Learn From Confident People

                  Look at the people you respect who seem confident. Don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.

                  People-watching is not only fun, but it can be informative, too. Look closely at successful people you know, or those being interviewed on TV, and over time you’ll begin to notice common traits, beliefs, and behaviors that they exhibit.

                  49. Follow Through on Your Plans

                  Most people find it easy to write plans. The hard part, of course, is seeing them through. To stand out from the crowd, make sure that you know exactly how to complete your plans.

                  If you need to, write down a step-by-step guide and begin following it. Not only will this drive you towards the completion of your plans—but experiencing the progress will also give you a continuous boost to your self-esteem.

                  50. Shift Your Focus When You Doubt Yourself

                  When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralyzed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.

                  I remember one of my writing tutors telling me that when the words stop flowing, it’s time to take a break— preferably a walk in the park. It’s sound advice as it’s very easy to get caught up with our thoughts and emotions and be unable to make progress.

                  51. Never Beat Yourself up for Failing

                  Life is guaranteed to not always be a barrel of laughs. Instead, it’s much more like a roller coaster. There will be ups and downs, so ride them out.

                  The art of living is to know how to handle whatever comes you way. The best way to achieve this is by developing an iron core that is unhindered by the topsy-turvy outside world.

                  Final Thoughts

                  Here I’ve given you 51 different ways to start building self-confidence Take action on the ways that you’re drawn to.

                  It’s not enough to read about them. For them to work, you must adopt them into your daily life. Do this, and you’ll start to feel your confidence soar.

                  More on How to Be Confident

                  Featured photo credit: Matheus Ferrero via unsplash.com

                  Reference

                  Read Next