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Daily Struggles Only People Who Live With Mental Illness Would Understand

Daily Struggles Only People Who Live With Mental Illness Would Understand

Although 1 in 4 Americans suffers from some sort of mental illness, the stigma associated with mental illnesses prevents many from seeking treatment or confiding in friends and family. To help lessen and eliminate the stigma, Project 1 in 4 aspires to raise awareness and inspire sufferers of mental illnesses. The eleven cartoons below illustrate with some humor familiar struggles and chagrins of a variety of mental illnesses from mania to bipolar disorder to depression. Mental illness can hurt and be scary, but how we think about this does not have to be so unapproachable. The cartoons aren’t intended to make light of mental illness, but to make it easier to talk about it.

Here are 11 of the 51 cartoons so far.

1. Sometimes you can feel so good you can convince yourself that your mental illness is behind you. But what you, your family, and your friends find out soon enough is that it was literally behind you, waiting for an opportunity to take control.

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always behind me waiting

    2. When your mental illness takes over, you do and say things that in your right mind you would not risk doing otherwise. This can feel scary or incredibly liberating.

    antics

      3. There may be days you feel invincible and convinced that you can do anything you think of doing. The impossible seems possible.

      delusions 2

        4. Even with all the evidence of a wrecked life in front of you, you may still be convinced that you don’t need help or that accepting help is a defeat.

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        no help please

          5. You may seem flighty or unfocused or ditzy and it may seem like you can’t finish what you started, but it’s actually because you have too many thoughts competing for supremacy. You can be smart and capable, but your mental illness trips you at the starting line or the finishing line.

          racing thoughts

            6. You are exhausted from all the thinking, all the emotions, or the medications, so you are too tired to enjoy social gatherings. Just getting together can, too, be exhausting if it means pretending everything is all right for everyone.

            scrambled

              7. Whether it is the medication or the mental illness, sleep deprivation can be a constant aggravation. You can get short tempered or forgetful or ill because you can’t get the sleep you need desperately.

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              sleepless

                8. You might think the odds are in your favor even when they obviously are not. You may see that starving yourself is hurting your health, that staying up night after night is ultimately bad for you, or that having a gun in the home is risky, but your mental illness is louder and shouts everyone else’s advice down.

                TRICKS

                  9. Your friends like you when you are happy and charming, so when you suddenly become mean spirited or depressing, they get frustrated and might just say you are a jerk. You lose friends because they don’t know what to expect from you and don’t like your quick personality and mood changes.

                  QUICK CHANGE ARTIST

                    10. Sure, everyone sees things differently, but you see things that are not even there. Large insects climb the walls of your clean apartment, the cracks on the sidewalk open up to be chasms. Your wife of 35 years is suddenly the serial killer you saw on the news the night before.

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                    Delusions

                      11. With public awareness increasing and the stigma lessening, reaching out to others and getting the support from family and friends you need becomes easier each day.

                      POSITIVE TAKE AWAY

                        For 100 days, the organizers of Project 1 in 4 will present pictures from their Instagram account, so you can follow along daily, share, and show support. Their hope and desire is that the awareness spread by these approachable, accessible, and simple cartoons will ultimately lessen the stigma of mental illness. So reach out and show some well-mannered love and make supportive comments after taking the time to educate yourself on the pervasiveness of mental illness. No one should feel alone or that they don’t deserve support.

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                        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

                        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

                        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

                        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

                        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

                        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

                        Boundaries are limits

                        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

                        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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                        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

                        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

                        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

                        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

                        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

                        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

                        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

                        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

                        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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                        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

                        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
                        • When do you feel disrespected?
                        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
                        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
                        • When do you want to be alone?
                        • How much space do you need?

                        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

                        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

                        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

                        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

                        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

                        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

                        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

                        Sample language:

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                        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
                        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
                        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
                        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
                        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
                        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
                        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

                        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

                        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

                        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

                        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

                        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

                        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

                        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

                        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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                        Final Thoughts

                        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

                        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

                        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

                        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

                        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

                        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

                        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

                        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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