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5 Style Tips To Look Simple And Low-Key

5 Style Tips To Look Simple And Low-Key

Nobody wants to be bright and bold all the time. There are days when we want to be just plain and simple, and go about our regular activities. Sometimes we do not want to see people staring at us. Not that we do not like attention, but there are just days when we want space and just to be with ourselves. If we could wear a hat over our whole face, we would do it just so nobody recognizes us. These are the days when we do not want to be bothered, and all that we want is space and privacy.

The need for privacy is not reserved for Hollywood stars and famous people. Needing space and quiet is a natural need of every human being. Think of how some people avoid going to public places where they know they would bump into people that they know. If you are planning to be low-key, follow these simple tips:

1.) Don’t use bold, dark makeup.

Stick with nude colors if you want to look simple. No dark browns or bold reds. Also, use only light lipstick if you will play up with your eye makeup, or use light eye make up if you will wear a lipstick. Better yet, stick with a lip gloss or nothing at all. A bare face is better for staying low-key.

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And do stay away from thick foundations. They tend to make people stare at you to make out if they recognize you or not (subconsciously), despite your thick makeup.

2.) Keep clothes comfortable. Don’t wear anything complicated or too revealing.

Don’t sacrifice comfort for trendy. Choose clothing based on how comfortable and easy they are to wear, instead of how glamorous they make you feel.

If you are wearing an article of clothing that catches attention, your need for privacy goes out of the window. So avoid crazy patterns, shining colors, elaborate details, or complicated ensembles. Stick with simple, plain and basic clothes like tees and jeans if you do not want the extra attention.

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Revealing clothes are a magnet for attention, too, so cover up if you are avoiding unsolicited attention.

3.) Avoid big and flashy jewelry.

Flashy jewelry tends to be stare-magnets. When people see flashy jewelry, they tend to stare at the jewelry to admire it, or they tend to look at the face of the person that is wearing them to see who is wearing them.

If you are not wanting any public attention, avoid wearing too much jewelry, since the sounds it will make while you are moving can draw attention.

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4.) Ditch the high heels and wear only comfortable shoes.

High-heeled stilettos draw attention in three ways. They are nice, they make people wonder how the person wearing them is able to walk 10 feet, and they are often worn in inappropriate places. So don’t wear them if you know you will be walking a mile away, or if you know you will be watching a grade school baseball game and will staying on the side of the field.

5.) Wear outerwear that protects, not ones that are just for show.

When it is time to choose outerwear, choose one that protects, and not one that is just a fashion statement. An example is choosing a thick and baggy jacket that can keep you warm, instead of a thin, form-fitting material that does not really do what it is supposed to do. For example, if choosing between a high-heeled pair of boots that does not really do much for protection against slips on ice, or a pair of thick and heavy winter boots that might not be as elegant-looking but protects from slips, choose the latter.

By nature, humans are curious species. If you give them something interesting to look at, they will want more information about it. So if you want a low-key appearance, don’t give them anything too flaunting, daring, or attractive. Keep yourself natural-looking.

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Featured photo credit: Pexels.com via static.pexels.com

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Sarah Bonander

Writer, Human Resources Professional

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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