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Are You Giving Away Your Personal Power?

Are You Giving Away Your Personal Power?

Some people see themselves in the drivers seat of their lives and others feel they are in the passenger seat. Stop being frustrated with how your life is going and take your personal power back.

No matter why you may think you are in the passenger seat you can take back your personal power. The first step is recognizing where you are giving it away. We’re going to explore 3 ways you may be giving your personal power away below.

Personal Power Blocker: Self-talk

The first way we give away our personal power is in the way that we talk to ourselves. Do you recognize some of the statements below? If so, you are giving away your personal power just by the way you talk to yourself.

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  • They never let me…
  • Xyz was doing it, so I couldn’t…
  • I don’t know how to…
  • I never get to do what I want to do
  • I can’t do it
  • It’s in my genes so I can’t…
  • I’m not smart enough…
  • I’m not pretty enough…
  • No one wants me…
  • It’s not fair
  • No one in my family ever xyz so I can’t either

When you hear yourself saying one of these statements stop and ask yoursel, “Is it really true?”. For example, let’s say you caught yourself with the thought, “I can’t get that promotion because…” Now, ask yourself if that statement is true.

Then ask how you would know if it were true. Have you tried to get the promotion? Have you looked at your resume and qualifications? Have you tried to demonstrate your knowledge, skill and effectiveness to your boss, co-workers and others who would give feedback and ultimately choose who was in line for a promotion? Most likely you haven’t done all you could to get the promotion.

There is much that we can control and impact with our personal power. Change your thinking and you will start to see what you can do rather than what you can’t do.

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Personal Power Blocker: Perceptions

Are you perceiving the world in a way that is giving away your personal power?

Below are a few ways perceptions might be blocking your personal power.

  • You feel like others control your life
  • You try to be like other people thinking that is the way to a better life
  • You feel someone is holding you back from reaching your full potential
  • You think there isn’t enough time to do xyz
  • You don’t have the support you need to be successfully (e.g. spouse or family support)

If you have any of these perceptions, you need to ask yourself if the perception is true or just a viewpoint.

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We choose how we perceive the world. It may not seem that way all the time but there are many viewpoints of an event. You can choose whether you see an event as good, bad, or indifferent.

Choose to see each event as an opportunity and the world will open up for you.

Personal Power Blocker: Action

How you might be giving away your personal power through action (or lack thereof):

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  • You wait for directions
  • You don’t set any goals – if you have no direction that is just where you will be: nowhere
  • You have trouble focusing – you try one thing but then give up and move to another before giving yourself ample time to be proficient
  • You resist change

If you are waiting for the world to bring you your golden ticket, it’s going to be a long wait. Successful people set goals and take steps to ensure their success. What are you doing to have a successful, happy, fulfilled life?

Take your personal power back by getting in the driver’s seat of your life. Get on the road and start making progress toward your goals.

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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