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7 Tips for A Wonderful, Exciting Life From Eleanor Roosevelt Herself

7 Tips for A Wonderful, Exciting Life From Eleanor Roosevelt Herself

In many ways, Eleanor Roosevelt was one of the most inspiring women to have ever lived. Here are the 7 fundamentals she applied to her life in order to make every day an adventure:

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

“A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.”

Eleanor Roosevelt was not only the First Lady and wife of U.S president Franklin D. Roosevelt.

In many ways she was a pioneer.

She was the first woman to speak in front of a national convention. The first woman to have a syndicated column and to earn money through lectures. After the death of her husband, she didn’t disappear into obscurity.

Instead she continued her work and she became an American spokesman in the U.N. There she played an important part in creating The Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In a survey by Gallup she is one of the most widely admired people of the last century.

And she is the source of some of my absolute favorite quotes of all time. So in this article I’d like to share 7 of her timeless fundamentals for making life an exciting and wonderful adventure.

1. Look fear in the face.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

If you want to build confidence in yourself then nothing is better than facing your fear and doing something you think you cannot do.

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This is of course also something that can be greatly uncomfortable or downright scary too. So people tend to often want to avoid these kinds of situations.

But there is no avoiding them if you want to build your mental strength, just like there is no avoiding spending hours upon hours in the gym or with doing some kind of exercise to build your physical strength.

I have however found a few ways to make it a bit easier to face your fears and to step outside of your comfort zone.

  • Take small steps forward. Too many think they have to face a fear or step out of the comfort zone in great and very uncomfortable leaps. You really don’t in most cases. You can take one small step after another instead. Check out last week’s article for more on that.
  • Be here now when you take action. Spending too much time in the past can create a lot of worries. Spending too much time in imagined future scenarios can create a lot of exaggerated fears. So when you face a fear or step out of the comfort zone try stay in the present moment.
    You can reconnect with the moment right here and now by sitting down and just focusing on your in-breaths and out-breaths for 1-2 minutes right before you step into the scary situation. I have found this to be a very helpful habit in my own life to greatly decrease fear at least for a few minutes.

2. Do the right thing.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

No matter what you do, some people will have one opinion or another. You can never please everyone so don’t go down that path because it will only lead you to live a life that is unhappier than it needs to be.

Instead, do what you deep down think is the right thing. Besides taking steps towards what you want you’ll also raise your self-esteem and you’ll feel good about yourself. This is terrific combination.

And that raise in self-esteem will over time make you less sensitive to other people’s criticism and make it easier to stand up for yourself and your actions in your own mind even if someone wants to make you feel inferior.

3. Be your own best friend.

“Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

No relationship you’ll ever have will be more important than the one you have with yourself.

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Especially since it will not only make you happier and help you to live a fuller life.

It will also have a positive effect on all the other relationships in your life. Because you’ll have more energy and love to give and the people closest to you get to experience the joy of you finding a self-love and expressing yourself more than you have in the past.

So how can you become better friends with yourself this year?

  • Think about three things you can appreciate about yourself. This only takes a minute or less. As you wake up – or if it fits you better to do it before you go to sleep – think of three things you can appreciate about yourself.
    It doesn’t have to be something big. It could just be that you did a good job with a small and everyday thing. Appreciate anything that is positive about you even if it may sometimes just be that you do a thorough job with brushing your teeth.
    Because the point of this is to think kind thoughts about yourself every day so it after a while becomes an automatic habit. This will lead to more and more self-kind thoughts popping up in your mind when you need them the most.
  • When you stumble, take the kinder path.  Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would. It will help you to be more constructive after the first initial pain of a mistake or failure is starting to fade.

4. Focus on the optimism.

“It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.”

“A stumbling block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.”

You will stumble. You will fall. You’ll wind up in situations that may look negative from time to time. No matter what you do. Such is life.

But what you do in such situations makes all the difference. Not just that day or week but even more so in the long run in the coming years and decades of your life.

If you would like to take the optimistic and more constructive path in these situations here are a few practical tips that help me every week:

  • Ask yourself the optimistic questions. Two that work really well for me are: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? And what is one thing can I learn from this situation?
  • Be careful about the input. Destructive messages from the people around you or from media, advertising and society in general does not help you to stay optimistic. So, bit by bit, replace them with other daily and weekly input.
    It could be the encouragement of friends and family and the help from someone close to you who has been in the situation that you are in now. Or practical personal development books and blogs that help you out with real solutions to the challenges you face and the dreams you want to achieve.

5. Spread the happiness.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”

Spreading happiness to the other people in your life can be very rewarding.

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You feel happier as someone’s face light up with joy. You feel happier because you feel you have done a good thing. And in the long run you tend to be treated by others as you treat them.

But how can you make someone happier in a practical way?

A few ideas:

  • Just listen. Let someone vent and just be fully there and listen for a little while. It can certainly help him or her to release stress and concerns.
  • Encourage. The world can be tough place sometimes. So take a few minutes to encourage someone who is in a negative situation at the moment. Add your own perhaps more grounded and optimistic perspective on the situation and lessen his or her worries and perhaps exaggerated fears.
  • Help out in practical way. If your friend needs some help then ask another friend who has been in that situation for advice. Or do a bit of online research. Making that often pretty small effort can mean a lot.
  • Express your gratitude. It can mean especially much if it is for something the other person values a lot or if it is for something that you and others often may take for granted.

6. Don’t worry so much about other people may think.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

A lot of people – me included big time in the past – hold themselves back in life because of what other people may think or say. Perhaps because they are afraid that people will laugh or analyze what they said or did for the rest of the week or year.

But that view of life comes from an inaccurate belief. Not from how life is in most cases.

A much more realistic scenario is that the people in your life have their hands full with worrying about their own lives (and what other people may think of them). And with thinking about their kids, a pet, school or work and their partner.

Yes, in your head you may be the most important person in the world.

But in a wider sense of life people tend to have their hand full with their own lives and with being the most important person there.

7. In the end it comes down to what you do with your life.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

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“Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”

Positive things will happen. Negative situations will arise. No matter what you do in life.

You cannot control everything. You do not have much influence over some things.

But you can still shape a huge part of your life. Take control over the rudder and sail the ship through obstacles and bad weather. Navigate towards more promising and rewarding destinations.

This may sometimes mean that you have to be patient. That you have to face fears or step outside of your comfort zone. That you have to get to know yourself better and learn how to keep your mental strength and balance and self-esteem in shape.

Along the way you can find help and support from people close to you or not so close to you in the world or even in time.

But in the end and in the long run your life and what you do with it is your responsibility. That responsibility can sometimes feel heavy. But also bring a liberating sense of freedom and of truly taking charge of yourself and what happens in your life.

And if it feels scary from time to time then just focus on taking one small step after another in the direction you want to go.

Henrik Edberg lives on the west coast of Sweden and for the past 7 years he has been writing about self-esteem and happiness at The Positivity Blog.

Eleanor Roosevelt’s Top 7 Fundamentals for Making Life an Exciting and Wonderful Adventure | The Positivity Blog

Featured photo credit: Vinoth Chandar via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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