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5 Things You Need To Stop Comparing To Lead A Better Life

5 Things You Need To Stop Comparing To Lead A Better Life

We all do it. We look at someone and instantly compare how we measure up. This is done so often and quickly that we may not even realize we are doing it. Whether we realize it or not, it affects us. By constantly feeling that we don’t measure up, we affect our confidence which affects how we deal with everyone else in the world. Here are 5 things you need to stop comparing to lead a better life.

Keeping up with the Jones’ Can Get You Into Debt.

Whether it’s a neighbor, a friend, or someone you wish you were friends with, everyone knows someone who seems to have the latest and greatest thing. Maybe it’s a car, tablet, phone, fitness gadget, or clothes. Some people feel pressure to keep up whether or not they can afford it. Perhaps your friend is excited about her new phone and asks when you are getting one. Or maybe you feel pressure to have the latest fashion for work so you feel up to date and more desirable to clients.

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In some cases you really do need to spend some money on new things. There are many ways to keep the spending under control though. You can shop in high end consignment shops, choose items that look like they are from top designers but aren’t, and look for sales. It’s not necessary to pay top dollar. It doesn’t make you seem any better just because you spent an extra $50 on a blouse.

In other cases you really don’t need to spend the money on stuff. If you spend what you cannot afford, you are adding stress to your life. Save the money you might have wastefully spent. Less stress equals a better life!

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Feeling Down About Your Body Makes You Look Bad.

Here’s a secret. No matter what you look like, if you exude confidence then you are instantly more attractive. By confident I don’t mean arrogant. Being confident, happy and yet humble override any physical attribute. That includes the people who are perceived as pretty or handsome. If they have a bad attitude, they instantly become unattractive.

You are a beautiful human being with so much to share with the world. Life is too short not to experience as much as possible. Go out, be happy, and have fun!

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Being The Head of a Company Doesn’t Make You a Better Person.

Some people judge their worthiness, as well as other people’s, by the rank of their employment. They chase perceived greatness while missing out on so much around them. I’ve seen some of my friends climb the corporate ladder in exchange for time with their kids, friends, family, and health. I’ve seen them get sick due to stress and not looking after themselves properly. On the other side of the fence, some of my friends have been confident in what they need to be happy. It usually isn’t very much. They have time for tea with friends, and work in jobs that have a lot of personal satisfaction. They are happy and healthy!

Butterflies vs Wall Flowers:  Both Have Great Qualities!

Social butterflies seem to be the life of the party. Wall Flowers have deep, meaningful relationships. These are generalities, of course. Some people can be social butterflies and also have deep, meaningful relationships. Some wall flowers can be brought out of their shell in the right setting. The point is, both qualities are great! Be confident in who you are. You might start off as an awkward, shy little kid and eventually surprise yourself as you grow into a confident, somewhat outgoing adult. That is how I would describe myself. Having had the pleasure of experiencing both sides, over the course of my 40+ years, has been enriching. I always considered myself extremely shy and wished I could be outgoing and not care so much about what people think. My friends never considered me shy at all! How interesting! Once I stopped caring about what people might think of me, I felt liberated and free to be me!

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Everyone Else’s Family Seems so Normal.

Growing up watching family television shows planted a seed in our minds as to what is normal.  Every generation had its shows.  There was ‘Leave It To Beaver’, ‘Little House On The Prairie’, etc.  Every kid started comparing their family life to what they saw on TV and we felt something was wrong or missing in our families.  It’s too bad because the truth is that there is no normal.  Every family has its issues whether they are openly visible or not.

Stop Comparing. Celebrate the differences. Liberate yourself and lead a better life!

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Jennifer Wasylenko

Exercise Physiologist, ACSM

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

How to Flow Your Way to a More Productive Life

Ebb and flow. Contraction and expansion. Highs and lows. It’s all about the cycles of life.

The entire course of our life follows this up and down pattern of more and then less. Our days flow this way, each following a pattern of more energy, then less energy, more creativity and periods of greater focus bookended by moments of low energy when we cringe at the thought of one more meeting, one more call, one more sentence.

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The key is in understanding how to use the cycles of ebb and flow to our advantage. The ability to harness these fluctuations, understand how they affect our productivity and mood and then apply that knowledge as a tool to improve our lives is a valuable strategy that few individuals or corporations have mastered.

Here are a few simple steps to start using this strategy today:

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Review Your Past Flow

Take just a few minutes to look back at how your days and weeks have been unfolding. What time of the day are you the most focused? Do you prefer to be more social at certain times of the day? Do you have difficulty concentrating after lunch or are you energized? Are there days when you can’t seem to sit still at your desk and others when you could work on the same project for hours?

Do you see a pattern starting to emerge? Eventually you will discover a sort of map or schedule that charts your individual productivity levels during a given day or week.  That’s the first step. You’ll use this information to plan your days going forward.

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Schedule According to Your Flow Pattern

Look at the types of things you do each day…each week. What can you move around so that it’s a better fit for you? Can you suggest to your team that you schedule meetings for late morning if you can’t stand to be social first thing? Can you schedule detailed project work or highly creative tasks, like writing or designing when you are best able to focus? How about making sales calls or client meetings on days when you are the most social and leaving billing or reports until another time when you are able to close your door and do repetitive tasks.

Keep in mind that everyone is different and some things are out of our control. Do what you can. You might be surprised at just how flexible clients and managers can be when they understand that improving your productivity will result in better outcomes for them.

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Account for Big Picture Fluctuations

Look at the bigger picture. Consider what happens during different months or times during the year. Think about what is going on in the other parts of your life. When is the best time for you to take on a new project, role or responsibility? Take into account other commitments that zap your energy. Do you have a sick parent, a spouse who travels all the time or young children who demand all of your available time and energy?

We all know people who ignore all of this advice and yet seem to prosper and achieve wonderful success anyway, but they are usually the exception, not the rule. For most of us, this habitual tendency to force our bodies and our brains into patterns of working that undermine our productivity result in achieving less than desired results and adding more stress to our already overburdened lives.

Why not follow the ebb and flow of your life instead of fighting against it?

    Featured photo credit: Nathan Dumlao via unsplash.com

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