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7 Essential Things You Need For A Mindful Life You Dream About

7 Essential Things You Need For A Mindful Life You Dream About

1. Redefine mindfulness.

Do you dream about having a mindful life? Does it seem out of reach? Do you believe it takes a lot of time to learn mindfulness? A misunderstanding of the word mindfulness can put a wall between you and your so called mindful life.

I began to pursue mindfulness in 1973. I went to workshops and read books. I pictured myself sitting cross-legged on the floor, my hands resting on my knees with my fingers touching my thumbs, chanting a mantra that was mine alone. I pictured reaching a state where thoughts no longer entered my mind at all.

One summer morning, a friend of mine took me on a tour of the Self-Realization Fellowship in Los Angeles, California. The grounds are gorgeous! If there is a perfect place to find a spot and sit cross-legged, this is it. Although this took place forty years ago, I still remember walking towards a young man doing just that. As we approached, I noticed his eyes start to flutter under his lids. I knew we had disturbed his concentration. I felt bad, but I wondered how far he had gotten from taking that ultimate vacation away from his thoughts.

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Now don’t get me wrong. I know this type of mindful meditation has huge benefits. Those benefits have been highly researched and replicated. I just never found the time or the determination to get there. So if there’s more to mindfulness than meditating, what is it?

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a biologist and an expert in mindfulness, defined it this way: “Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” This means that we purposefully pay attention to what is happening in the present moment. We cease living in the past through rumination or the future through worry. We strategically bring our minds back to the present moment so that we are actually living our lives anchored in our environment rather than in our heads. So first, redefine mindfulness.

2. Do only what works.

There are hundreds if not thousands of mindfulness exercises to choose from. As a psychotherapist who uses mindfulness practices in my group setting, I have seen some clients who cannot tolerate certain types of exercises, but find others extremely helpful. One client cannot handle it when we begin to focus on our breath or go through any sort of “slowing down” exercise. Her mind is constantly racing. She is now practicing an exercise for very short periods of time to help her slow down her thought processes.

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Another client needs a brain teaser—something to totally focus on—in order to bring herself back to the present moment. For another, using all of her five senses to experience her world is enough to bring her back to her “now” within a very short time. Explore the vast array if mindfulness exercises out there through the Internet or books or CDs. Some will work for you and some will not be as helpful.

3. Eat right.

You’ve heard it before: Food is medicine. We can get away with not eating right when we are younger, but as the years fly by, damage that is invisible to us is happening on the inside. We experience digestive problems or aching joints. We can become easily fatigued. Getting informed by reading blogs or books on healthy eating will help.

4. Sleep more.

Speaking of fatigue, getting enough sleep is essential to leading a mindful life. Our brains wake up with so much energy for a day. If we are healthy, we have enough physical energy, cognitive energy, and emotional energy. Then we have a reserve. Without enough sleep, once these energy stores are used up, they are used up until we sleep again. There is no reserve. That is when we feel our worst and can’t seem to get it together mentally or emotionally. If you are experiencing this, look at your sleep schedule. For most adults, 8–9 hours are needed.

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5. Learn how to listen.

Have you ever listened to yourself? I have. And sometimes, I don’t like what I hear. I will be sitting across from a friend having a latte or talking to my sister on the phone, and once I’m on my way home or I’ve hung up the phone, I realize I did not ask them what was happening in their life. I find my own life so exciting that I blabbed on and on without inquiring how they are. Ugh. Just intentionally listening to another is a type of mindfulness. As how others are doing. Find out what is happening in their life. Listen, and pay close attention. Ask questions. It’s impossible do that if you are not paying attention, living a mindful life.

6. Practice gratitude.

Research shows that if you write down a few things you are grateful for each day, depression lifts after a while. You cannot reflect on what you are grateful for if you are wallowing in the past or worrying in the future. You are thinking about your life—now. Practicing gratitude is part of living a mindful life.

7. Practice, practice, practice.

When you first rode a bike, you had to watch someone else do it first. You noticed that you needed to swing your leg over to the other side, sit on the seat, put your feet on the pedals and hands on the handle bars. Then you needed to push the pedal forward with one foot first, then the other, all the while steering the bike. Eventually you graduated to one without training wheels that had brake grips attached to the handle bars. Soon, with enough practice, you were going everywhere on your bike. If you put your bike away for awhile, even for years, chances are you would be able to jump right back on it and ride.

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You had developed muscle memory. Your brain knows how to ride the bike. This is how learning any skill works. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes, and the more automatically you use the skill when needed. You cease needing to think about it ahead of time.

I have taught mindfulness exercises to others for almost five years. I remember the first time I noticed I had automatically brought myself back to the present when I was ruminating about an event from long ago. I went outside and sat on my back porch. I changed my focus to the sound of the birds in the trees and the warmth of the sun on my face. I began to search the trees for the birds. I noticed the turquoise blue of the sky through the leafy branches of the ash tree. My mood lifted. I was living a mindful life.

So, have you only dreamed about leading a mindful life? Begin now by keeping these seven essentials in mind.

Featured photo credit: Mindfulness via

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

Your house is more than just a building that you live in. It should be a home that makes you feel welcome as soon as you open the front door.

Making your house feel like a home is not something that simply happens on its own. You need to make some changes to a house when you move in, to give it that cozy, warm feeling that turns it into a true home. To help you speed the process, follow this guide to 10 small changes to make your house feel like a home.

1. Make the Windows Your Own

When you move into a home, they often come with boring Venetian blinds or less than attractive curtains.

One of the best ways you can instantly warm your home and make it showcase your style is to add some new window dressing. Adding beautiful curtains not only improves your home’s appearance, but it can also help to control the temperature.

2. Put up Some Art

If you have a lot of bare walls in your home, it will seem sterile no matter how beautiful your paint or wallpaper is.

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Hanging art on the walls will instantly give it personality and make it feel like home.

3. Improve the Aroma

A house that is not filled with inviting smells will never feel like a home. There are loads of ways you can make your home smell nice. There are tons of air fresheners on the market you can use.

Incense and scented candles are a nice option as well. Don’t forget that baking in a home is also a great way to fill it with an aroma that instantly smells like home as soon as you open the front door.

4. Put out Lots of Pillows and Throws

A great way to make your home look warm and inviting is to place lots of pillows and throws out on the furniture. It is much better to have too many pillows than not enough.

There is nothing like the feeling of sinking into a cushiony pillow that feels like a cloud to make you feel like you are at home.

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5. Instantly Class up Your Closet

If your closet is filled with wire or plastic hangers, it will never truly feel homey. To instantly make your closet feel classy, change out your old hangers for wooden ones.

Not only do they look great, but they are better for hanging your clothes as well.

6. Improve Your Air Quality

One of the most overlooked ways to make your house feel more like a home is to improve its air quality.

The easiest and best way to upgrade the air quality in your home is to change the old, dirty filters in your furnace regularly. Get some air filters delivered to your home so that you always have some on hand.

7. Fill it with Plants

Another way to improve the air quality in your home is to fill it with plants. You should have plants in every room of your home.

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They help to improve the air quality and they look beautiful. As well as making your home appear homier, plants also help to boost your mood and lower your stress levels.

8. Change the Doorknobs

Most people don’t really give their doorknobs a second thought unless they are broken. That is a shame because changing your doorknobs is an easy way to add personality to your home.

Changing your old, boring doorknobs to new ones that are works of art will instantly brighten your home.

9. Upgrade Your Tub or Shower

There is nothing like luxuriating in a whirlpool bath or steam shower to make the cares of the day melt away. Your family deserves a bit of luxury when they are in their bathroom.

Install a new shower or tub today to make your bathroom worthy of a place in your home.

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10. Fresh Cut Flowers

You can make any room in your house feel homier by placing a vase full of beautiful flowers in it. The gorgeous look and intoxicating aroma of fresh cut flowers will immediately brighten your day when you encounter them.

You don’t have to make all these changes at once. Try one or two a day though, and your house will feel like a home before you know it. The trick is to constantly keep adding these homey touches to make your home a place worthy of its name.

Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-wooden-round-analog-wall-clock-on-brown-wooden-wall-121537/ via unsplash.com

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