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15 Signs That It’s Time to Have a Baby

15 Signs That It’s Time to Have a Baby

Having children is the biggest decision most people make in their lives. It’s a huge responsibility. Children are expensive, they require most of your time, and they’ll be around for at least 18 years. Are you ready? Here are 15 signs that you may be ready for parenthood.

1. If you are between 25 and 35 years old

This seems to be the statistical sweet spot to have kids. Most people have kids when they’re between the ages of 25 and 35. If you’re in that age range, then you’re officially in the age range that most people have kids and that’s always a good start in figuring out if you’re ready to have kids.

2. Your priorities are in line

ready for parenthood

    You know where your money is going. Your bills are up to date, you have a stable place to live, and your job is stable. Your significant other is there to stay. When you get off of work you have literally nothing to do for the rest of the day because all the important stuff is done. When all your priorities are in order, then you’re definitely ready for the responsibility of having kids.

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    3. Your significant other is ready to have kids

    You’ll know it when it happens. They’ll start dropping hints about it. They seem to stare a little to long at other couples who have children. They walk by the baby stuff at the grocery store every single time you go. Obviously you shouldn’t be pressured into something you’re not ready for but if your significant other is ready to go then you know you’re not going into this alone and that’s helpful.

    4. You start enjoying being around other people’s children

    Your friends probably have kids. When the biological urge to have your own starts to hit you hard, you’ll compensate by enjoying spending time with other people’s kids. You volunteer to babysit. At picnics or BBQs, you’re the one with the pool noodles pretending to be the ocean monster or tossing the baseball around with the kids. If this sounds like you then you may be ready to have kids of your own.

    5. You start talking about when you have kids

    ready for parenthood

      This one requires a little self realization but you’ll know when it happens. You’ll begin to tell other people how you’ll raise your kids, what you’ll do with them, and how you’ll teach them things. You’ve heard other people say this stuff before. “Yeah when I have kids, I’m going to get them enrolled in music lessons at an early age. I hear that helps them develop better learning skills.” That is a person who is ready to have kids.

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      6. You have begun to have more non-romantic feelings

      This is the mother or father inside of you yearning to come out. You just have that urge to care about something or someone in a way you’ve never felt before. That’s kind of what parenthood feels like when you ask about it. It’s a different kind of love and one that isn’t immediately quantifiable. If you’re wanting something in your life to care for that much, maybe it’s time to have a kid so you can have it.

      7. You’ve started unconsciously planning for it

      You could have bought that Shelby Mustang. That one bedroom apartment downtown looked pretty good. Nope, you instead went and bought an SUV or a minivan and you moved out to the suburbs. Aren’t those the perfect things to have when raising a family? Why yes, yes they are. You may be planning on having kids someday but when you actually put into motion those plans then it means you’re pretty close to being ready to have kids.

      8. You’re ready to continue on the family traditions

      When you were a kid, you had traditions in your household. You may have had family Christmas parties or Thanksgiving dinners. You may go camping one week every summer with your family. It can be anything. When you start thinking about wanting to continue that family tradition, you’ll need kids to pass it on to. Thus, it’s a pretty good indication that you secretly want some kids when you’re having that urge to pass on the tradition.

      9. You treat your pets like people

      Having pets is nothing like having kids but there are some similarities. You have to feed them and clean up after them. You care about them more than some of your friends. However, when you start telling people that your pets are your kids, it’s really your subconscious shouting that you’re ready for the responsibility for real kids. It’s your biology speaking. If you’re will to pretend your pets are kids, then you’re probably ready to have your own kids.

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      10. Your attitude toward children’s things change

      Have you started enjoying things like Spongebob? Do you spot someone changing their kid’s diaper and not run away in terror? You may have found that the things kids do don’t gross you out quite as much as they used to or that the things they like aren’t as bad as you originally though. People who aren’t ready to have kids generally dislike the things that kids do. If you’re not one of those people, then you’re probably good to go with having your own.

      11. Your attitude toward other people having kids change

      When you’re ready to have kids then your friends having kids doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore. You’re not thinking about how lame they’re going to be. You’re not dreading the seemingly infinite number of baby pictures that’ll erupt from Facebook like a giant volcano. You’re excited for them and that means you’ll be excited for you when it happens to you.

      12. Sleeping in doesn’t sound as much fun as it used to

      Everybody knows that having kids means you won’t get a good night’s rest again until they go visit grandma and grandpa for the weekend. If the thought of waking up at 6 a.m. every morning is something that sounds just horrible then you may not be ready for kids yet. If you’re already waking up kind of early and you don’t really look forward to waking up at noon then you’re already ready to deal with arguably one of the worst parts of having a baby.

      13. Going clubbing sounds like a bad idea

      Or really any late-night activities. Going to the bar, going to the club, going to a house party, or really going anywhere where there is shenanigans can be included. If you’re done with that kind of lifestyle it’s probably because you’re ready for a different kind of lifestyle. One where bed time is earlier, the activities are more PG, and one that involves having kids.

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      14. You’re ready for more challenges

      ready for parenthood

        If you’re currently bored with life then you may need a new, much harder challenge. Raising kids is very challenging and never boring. You’re going to teach them how to use the bathroom, tie shoes, drive, the birds and the bees, and how to avoid and learn from mistakes. It’s a 24/7 responsibility and some people simply aren’t ready for that kind of commitment. If you’re feeling like your life needs more responsibility then maybe it’s time to give yourself some more responsibility.

        15. Your outlook on life changes

        There is a point in all of our lives where we live for us. It’s about what makes us happy. We’re buying the food we want and the gadgets we want. We go where we want and do what we want. Eventually that feeling fades and you start wanting to live for others. Suddenly other people’s lives matter as much as your own. You start buying things with other people in mind. You start allowing your life to be planned around others. You may even start feeling bad when you do something selfish. If that sounds like the transition you’re going through, it’s because you’re preparing yourself to be a parent. When you have kids, they’re the ones that matter and deep down you know that. When you can put the lives of others ahead of your own, you’re ready to have kids.

        Featured photo credit: BT Connect via home.btconnect.com

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        Joseph Hindy

        A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

        Boundaries are limits

        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
        • When do you feel disrespected?
        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
        • When do you want to be alone?
        • How much space do you need?

        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

        Sample language:

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        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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        Final Thoughts

        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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