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10 Things Only Parents Will Understand

10 Things Only Parents Will Understand

All parents-to-be have this magical vision in their heads of how life will go once the baby comes along. They’ll have this amazing baby that sleeps through the night, walks on their first birthday, potty trains by the second, becomes the genius of kindergarten, and solves world hunger by age 10. Realism rarely plays a role in dreams of parenthood. Then baby shows up, shattering all those illusions pretty darn quick. See, there are things that you never understand until you’re a parent. Once you do understand them, you can never go back to the dream. Take a look at 10 things only parents will understand.

Parents will spend the first months in a perpetual state of exhaustion.

Your baby will not sleep through the night for a long time, if ever. Those first few months, though? They’re killer. Expect to get up at least every three hours. Sometimes more. Don’t plan to get more than a few hours of rest each night. Even those few hours will not be quality rest. Between interruptions to your natural sleep cycle, feeding your baby, worrying if your baby is okay, and having difficulty falling back asleep once you’re up, you’ll never come close to well-rested.

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You’ll never sleep the same again.

Think it’s all a cake-walk once your baby starts sleeping through the night? Think again! Parents spend the rest of their lives in a strange paradoxical sleep, much like that of a cat. You sleep, but you are also constantly alert, ready to jump out of bed and rush to your child’s side at the slightest whimper. Even when they’re grown up, part of your sleep time is devoted to worrying about them. You will miss that sleep, but you’ll adjust eventually.

You won’t need half the gear and clothes you think you need.

Parents-to-be get this insane rush from registering for baby gear and clothes. With so many baby-centric magazines filled with ads and stories about “the best” this or that, you start to feel like you’re depriving your baby if you don’t have it all. Sure, you need diapers, wipes, food, enough clothes to last until laundry day each week, a car seat, a stroller, and other basic gear. You don’t really need a toy box filled with toys, 10 mobiles for the crib, 200 onesies, 75 receiving blankets, and probably at least half of the other things on your list.

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Children are surprisingly expensive!

New parents know that babies are going to be expensive. Between all the new accessories, diapers, and clothes, they expect to spend a lot that first year. What most newbies don’t fully understand is how expensive their kids continue to be after that first year. Kids outgrow clothes before they’ve even had a chance to wear them. They absolutely LOVE a food until you buy it in bulk; then they suddenly hate it. They need a plethora of back-to-school gear, which inevitably gets lost or destroyed within a month. Factor in after-school activities, replacements for things they accidentally break, and the sheer amount of cleaning supplies you’ll go through and you’ll quickly find that raising a child has many surprise costs.

Leaving the house presents a whole new challenge.

Before becoming a parent, you can head out the door in under 30 seconds. Grab your coat, keys, wallet or purse, and go. When you become a parent, you’re lucky to get out the door in 30 minutes! Parents can’t just grab and go. Babies need a lot of supplies for outings. At minimum, they need a stroller and fully packed diaper bag. When they get older, they still make it challenging by taking an hour to put on shoes, needing to grab entertainment for that whopping five-minute trip down the street and so on.

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There is no manual for raising kids.

With the thousands of books on raising kids out there, you’d think that one of them would tell you exactly how to be a good parent. The truth is, no two kids are the same and no amount of books are going to tell you how to do it right.

Everyone will give parenting advice.

Parents know that everyone from their own parents to the stranger behind them in the grocery line has advice on how to be a better parent. Even people who never had children will weigh in on how you should raise your child. Parents also know that no one understands their kids better than them, so they learn to nod politely and tune out the well-meaning advice.

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Kids turn you into a hypocrite within a year.

Before having kids, every parent-to-be has a list of things they will never, ever do. They tisk at other parents who let their kids watch television, use a pacifier, or play video games. Once they become parents, though, all that goes out the window the first time they need to use the bathroom in peace or take an important phone call. At some point, you’re going to do something you said you’d never do. Thankfully, no parent will judge you for it because they’ve been there too.

Kids are gross, but you won’t mind.

Most non-parents would cringe at the thought of cleaning up vomit at 2:00 am, dealing with a blow-out diaper in the middle of the mall, or suctioning mucus out of a baby’s nose. Face it, kids are gross. Parents develop a strange, magical kind of immunity to their child’s grossness though. They may still gag when cleaning up the dog’s mess, but they can clean the nastiest messes from their children without flinching.

You will never, ever be the same again.

Kids change you so completely that you barely recognize the person you were before. Your entire life becomes about your children, even after they leave the house and start their own family. When you’re a parent, your kids come first. The beauty of it, though, is that you don’t mind. Being a parent is an amazing experience. It’s totally worth the lost sleep, money, and time.

Featured photo credit: Sergiu Bacioiu via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2019

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

Plato knew that the body and mind are intimately linked. And in the late 1800s, the Mayo brothers, famous physicians, estimated that over half of all hospital beds are filled with people suffering from frustration, anxiety, worry and despair. Causes of worry are everywhere, in our relationships and our jobs, so it’s key we find ways to take charge of the stress.

In his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers tools to ditch excessive worrying that help you make a worry-free environment for your private and professional life.

These are the top 10 tips to grab worry by the horns and wrestle it to the ground:

1. Make Your Decision and Never Look Back

Have you ever made a decision in life only to second-guess it afterwards? Of course you have! It’s hard not to wonder whether you’ve done the right thing and whether there might still be time to take another path.

But keep this in mind: you’ve already made your decision, so act decisively on it and dismiss all your anxiety about it.

Don’t stop to hesitate, to reconsider, or to retrace your steps. Once you’ve chosen a course of action, stick to it and never waver.

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2. Live for Today, Package Things up in “Day-Tight Compartments”

You know that feeling: tossing, turning and worrying over something that happened or something that might, well into the wee hours. To avoid this pointless worrying, you need “day-tight compartments”. Much as a ship has different watertight compartments, your own “day-tight” ones are a way to limit your attention to the present day.

The rule is simple: whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today. Everything else has to wait its turn for tomorrow’s box or stay stuck in the past.

3. Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario and Strategize to Offset It

If you’re worried about something, ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Could you lose your job? Be jailed? Get killed?

Whatever the “worst” might be, it’s probably not so world-ending. You could probably even bounce back from it!

If, for example, you lose your job, you could always find another. Once you accept the worst-case scenario and get thinking about contingency plans, you’ll feel calmer.

4. Put a Lid on Your Worrying

Sometimes we stress endlessly about negative experiences when just walking away from them would serve us far better.

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To make squashing that worry easier, try this strategy, straight from stock traders: it’s called the “stop-loss” order, where shares are bought at a certain price, and then their price development is observed. If things go badly and the share price hits a certain point, they are sold off immediately. This stops the loss from increasing further.

In the same manner, you can put a stop-loss order on things that cause you stress and grief.

5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It – Happiness, That Is

We can’t directly influence how we feel, but we can nudge ourselves to change through how we think and act.

If you’re feeling sad or low, slap a big grin on your face and whistle a chipper tune. You’ll find it impossible to be blue when acting cheerful. But you don’t necessarily need to act outwardly happy; you can simply think happier thoughts instead.

Marcus Aurelius summed it up aptly:

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

6. Give for the Joy of Giving

When we perform acts of kindness, we often do so with the expectation of gratitude. But harboring such expectations will probably leave you disappointed.

One person well aware of this fact was the lawyer Samuel Leibowitz. Over the course of his career, Leibowitz saved 78 people from going to the electric chair. Guess how many thanked him? None.

So stop expecting gratitude when you’re kind to someone. Instead, take joy from the act yourself.

7. Dump Envy – Enjoy Being Uniquely You

Your genes are completely unique. Even if someone had the same parents as you, the likelihood of someone identical to you being born is just one in 300,000 billion.

Despite this amazing fact, many of us long to be someone else, thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But living your life this way is pointless. Embrace your uniqueness and get comfortable with who you really are: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

8. Haters Will Hate — It Just Means You’re Doing It Right

When you’re criticized, it often means you’re accomplishing something noteworthy. In fact, let’s take it a step further and consider this: the more you’re criticized, the more influential and important a person you likely are.

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So the next time somebody talks you down, don’t let it get to you. Take it as a compliment!

9. Chill Out! Learn to Rest Before You Get Tired

Scientists agree that emotions are the most common cause of fatigue. And it works the other way around, too: fatigue produces more worries and negative emotions.

It should be clear, therefore, that you’ve got to relax regularly before you feel tired. Otherwise, worries and fatigue will accumulate on top of each other.

It’s impossible to worry when you are relaxed, and regular rest helps you maintain your ability to work effectively.

10. Get Organized and Enjoy Your Work

There are few greater sources of misery in life than having to work, day in, day out, in a job you despise. It would make sense then that you shouldn’t pick a job you hate, or even just dislike doing.

But say you already have a job. How can you make it more enjoyable and worry-free? One way is to stay organized: a desk full of unanswered mails and memos is sure to breed worries.

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Better yet, rethink about the job you’re doing: What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career

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Featured photo credit: Tyler Nix via unsplash.com

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