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10 Lessons I Learned From Cancer

10 Lessons I Learned From Cancer

Cancer is a disease that causes so much misery and death worldwide.

As it becomes more prevalent and common among people under 40, one has to wonder what is causing this illness to rear its ugly head.

In our modern world with contributors such as, stress, poor diet, genetics, family history, etc. medical professionals are baffled and short for answers as to what is causing it; even though generous amounts of money and grants have gone into research, only breakthroughs, no tangible cures yet.

Having been a victim of cancer, life has taken an unexpected turn I have learned so much and I’m getting stronger every day.

I learned more about:

Hope

No matter how dark my day was, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually there were three: my wife Lars; son Scott and our new baby son Cohen. As I held their faces close to my heart, it made me want a better tomorrow for all of us to be together, and that hope became a mantra that echoed so deep in my soul it became automatic as soon as my eyes opened when waking up to fight another day.

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Purpose

Due to the illness hitting me at the most inopportune time in my working life, there was not a lot of money saved as a buffer for me to take time off. My boss was supportive with leave without pay (I had no holiday pay left) but I could go to appointments whenever I needed to and I had to find the strength to keep working as the bills needed to be paid.

The chemo sessions would go on Fridays after my half day at work and the recovery, rest and sleep took place on the weekends just to be ready to return to work on Monday, but I never missed a beat.

Kindness

I was working as a contractor with Navy personnel at the time, and my Navy boss Moses would urge me to take my time and sit down whenever I was feeling I could not cope. All the boys and girls in the department I was attached to showed me so much love and kindness, I strongly believe being there and then proved to make a difference and sped up my recovery due to a very tranquil and stress free work environment, and I truly felt I was part of the team.

Friendship

Mark was the boss in the Engineering department, a sub department of the Training Services Faculty where I was working at the time. His kind smile and positive words of encouragement came aplenty, we had a common bond; we both had young families and knew what it was like to slog it off on the job to provide for the daily bread.

Like Moses, Mark always made sure I was well taken care of, and if I ever needed to talk, his door was always open, I still keep in touch with Mark after all these years.

Respect

Then there was Chito, the head of the Health department, who had a lot of time for me, he saw me at my most vulnerable, when I swelled up and my face looked like Shrek’s. No matter how long it took me to get up those stairs, there was a lot of encouragement coming my way.

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During our informal meetings followed by Friday morning tea, Chito once spoke on how much he admired me for not giving up and how much he respected me for my ability to smile no matter how much I hurt. The respect was mutual.

Humor

My friend Bucket (not his real name) was a very popular and respected NCO, and was a crucial link between departments. His cheery nature was soothing and his easy going manner took my mind off the dark clouds lurking above me as another day scraped by.

He would bring me a piece of cake, a sweet, a newspaper or have a joke on the ready.

Who says Warrant officers are all prunes?  Bucket is a top human being and reminded me of the importance of laughter, and I believe this is because of the tough environments they work under and a joke can take their minds to happier times.

Uniqueness

They say every individual on earth is unique, and then there is Alex…..

Alex was someone who was more unique than others, and his strong work ethics and eye for detail would often be seen as pedantic and obsessive, he was quite a character.

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Once I cracked that critical exterior and he showed me how friendly and warm he was. He made me feel very special because he paid attention to me, even on days where I hardly made any sense due to my chemo brain.  He made me feel unique and I never felt alone. I could lean on him and we had lots of long conversations about the joys of illness because he was having some health issues too.

Beauty

My wife Lars tried so hard not to let the tears betray her true feelings, and even though I could see the sadness in her eyes, her beauty shone through the many times she made me a cup of coffee while I was laying down in bed after a hard chemo session.

She understood the need to let my mind wander off to a different world via video games, “Kane and Lynch Dead Man Walking” took most of my down time, often helping me channel my anger and frustration with what was happening to me.

When she came in the room she held Cohen in her arms, and she looked so beautiful, making me more determined to get better and beat this ugly and deadly illness.

Loyalty

My immediate supervisor David always stuck up for me, and kept the wolves at bay. He stood by me, and together with Moses, Mark and Chito provided so much support and encouragement.

Loyal people are a rare gem when times are tough, and I have to admit, David was it. We had video games in common and we often discussed fatherhood, the joys, challenges and responsibilities and the relationship flourished.

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Even though we parted ways, I will always remember the many kind things he did for me.

Patience

On Fridays while the poison killing me was being injected to help me live, my mind would wander off. This process would take between two to three hours on Fridays and the whole world came to a standstill. All the anxiety would blend in with the shadows made by the sun shining bright outside.

While sitting down getting the poison in me, I could not do the very things I loved most, and I had to find ways to tame my need to do something, anything and everything.

While the hours ticked away, I started to become calmer, and five years later, I am no longer in a rush. I am happy to wait at the supermarket, petrol station without the need to rush, what a great lesson to learn in order to survive the madness of modern life.

If you or someone you know is going through this horrible disease, please be patient, forgiving and kind. Cancer is not just a physical disease because through the struggle it becomes a mental challenge, and there is a high probability of developing some level of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, it is quite traumatic.

In my personal case, the steroids turned me into a very angry and unstable person; as I said, it has taken me almost 5 years to get back to how I used to be, it has been a long and often grim journey but I feel better as a father, husband, son, brother and friend.

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Louis Salguero

UX, HCD, UCD, GUI, graphic and web designer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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