Advertising
Advertising

Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace

Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace
Plane

It’s been said that a man who stands on principle is bound to face personal attack. In my line of work, school administration, this has certainly been true as attacks can come literally from out of the blue. A longtime colleague can take you on, seemingly out of the blue with a laundry list of complaints. The next day, an attack might come from a parent whose child isn’t receiving the attention they deserve. Neither may be a real attack but perception is reality and when someone disagrees with us, we can’t help but to get worked up. The key is in choosing the appropriate response for each workplace moment of inevitable stress. Here are some keys when personal attack rises its ugly head in the workplace.

  1. Consider the source. Is your attacker a serial complainer? If so, disregard the comment as par for the course and move on. On the other hand, if the attack is coming from a reasonable person with a good intention, step back and listen to what they have to say. No one person has the total truth so it’s very possible that they have an angle from which you can benefit.
  2. Consider the source’s reasons. If your attacker is hurt or angry, keep in mind that they may be acting out of emotion. When this occurs, find a way to help them calm down and articulate the real reasons for their angst.
  3. Consider the bigger picture. Will your response to the personal attack affect the community in a positive way? Are you willing to cut a deal to save “now” without seeing how it will affect “later”? Keep in mind that each decision affects folks beyond just the two parties involved. As the head disciplinarian in a small New Jersey high school, I am reminded every day that any significant negotiation that I enter into now will probably return later, often in ways that aren’t helpful for the school as a whole. On the other hand, if I can stick to the policies of the school, everyone benefits both now and later.
  4. Cultivate strategies for stress reduction. If I asked you to list the top four or five ways that you minimize stress, would you be able to populate your list? Do you have a menu of options for when work gets crazy and personal attacks chip away at your self esteem? Whether it’s jogging, meditation or reading a good mystery novel, stress mediation is no longer a luxury that we can afford to bypass. My advice: work on your stress reduction techniques and practice them each week. When personal attack comes up, your ability to handle the stress will be further honed.
  5. Focus on the other areas of your life. Those that pour every moment of life into work are bound to do two things: make a difference at work for a short period of time and face burn out down the road. Rather than take on the latter, maximize the former by working on other areas of life. Grab a hobby, spend tons of time with your family and enjoy your home. That formula has worked for me when times get tough at work and they are bound to work for you as well.

Mike St. Pierre is the Dean of Students at Oratory Prep in Summit, NJ and blogs daily about productivity at thedailysaint.com

More by this author

What Grocery Stores Tell Us About Productivity How to Avoid Lengthy Interruptions at Work Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace Turning Your Coworkers into Collaborators 6 Factors Besides Salary That Boost Happiness

Trending in Featured

1 How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position 2 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 3 7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It 4 New Years Resolutions Don’t Work – Here’s Why 5 40 Top Productivity Apps for iPhone (2019 Updated)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 20, 2019

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

Are you stuck in the same position for too long and don’t really know how to get promoted and advance your career?

Feeling stuck could be caused by a variety of things:

  • Taking a job for the money
  • Staying with an employer that no longer aligns with your values
  • Realizing that you landed yourself in the wrong career
  • Not feeling valued or feeling underutilized
  • Staying in a role too long out of fear
  • Taking a position without a full understanding of the role

There are many, many other reasons why you may be feeling this way but let’s focus instead on getting unstuck.

As in – getting promoted.

So how to get promoted?

I’m of the opinion that the best way to get promoted is by showing how you add value to your organization.

Did you make money, save money, improve a process, or some other amazing thing? How else might you demonstrated added value?

Let’s dive right in how to get promoted when you feel stuck in your current position:

1. Be a Mentor

When I supervised students, I used to warm them – tongue in cheek, of course – about getting really good at their job.

Advertising

“Be careful not to get too good at this, or you’ll never get to do anything else?”

This was my way of pestering them to take on additional challenges or think outside the box, but there is definitely some reality in doing something so well that your manager doesn’t trust anyone else to do it.

This can get you stuck.

Jo Miller of Be Leaderly shares this insight on when your boss thinks you’re too valuable in your current job:[1]

“Think back to a time when you really enjoyed your current role. I bet there was a time when this job was a stretch for you, and you stepped up to the challenge and performed like a rock star. You became known for doing your job so well that you built up some strong “personal brand” equity, and people know you as the go-to-person for this particular job. That’s what we call “a good problem to have”: you did a really good job of building a positive perception about your suitability for the role, but you may have done “too” good of a job!”

With this in mind, how do you prove to your employer that you can add value by being promoted?

In Miller’s insight, she talks about building your personal brand and becoming known for doing a particular job well. So how can you link that work with a position or project that will earn you a promotion?

Consider leveraging your strengths and skills.

Let’s say that project you do so well is hiring and training new entry level employees. You have to post the job listing, read and review resumes, schedule interviews, making hiring decisions, and create the training schedules. These tasks require skills such as employee relations, onboarding, human resources software, performance management, teamwork, collaboration, customer service, and project management. That’s a serious amount of skills!

Advertising

Is there anyone else on your team who can perform these skills? Try delegating and training some of your staff or colleagues to learn your job. There are a number of reasons why this is a good idea:

  1. Cross-training helps in any situation in the event that there’s an extended illness and the main performer of a certain task is out for a while.
  2. In becoming a mentor to a supervisee or colleague, you empower then to increase their job skills.
  3. You are already beginning to demonstrate that added value to your employer by encouraging your team or peers to learn your job.

Now that you’ve trained others to do that work for which you have been so valued, you can see about re-requesting that promotion. Be ready to explain how you have saved the company money, encouraged employees to increase their skills, or reinvented that project of yours.

2. Work on Your Mindset

Another reason you may feel stuck in a position is well explained by Ashley Stahl in her Forbes article. Shahl talks about mindset, and says:[2]

“If you feel stuck at a job you used to love, it’s normally you–not the job–who needs to change. The position you got hired for is probably the exact same one you have now. But if you start to dread the work routine, you’re going to focus on the negatives.”

In this situation, you should pursue a conversation with your supervisor and share your thoughts and feelings. You can probably get some advice on how to rediscover the aspects of that job you enjoyed, and negotiate either some additional duties or a chance to move up.

Don’t express frustration. Express a desire for more.

Share with your supervisor that you want to be challenged and you want to move up. You are seeking more responsibility in order to continue moving the company forward. Focus on how you can do that with the skills you have and will develop with some additional projects and coaching.

3. Improve Your Soft Skills

When was the last time you put focus and effort into upping your game with those soft skills? I’m talking about those seemingly intangible things that make you the experienced professional in your specific job skills:

An article on Levo.com suggests that more than 60 percent of employers look at soft skills when making a hiring decision.[3]

Advertising

You can bone up on these skills and increase your chances of promotion by taking courses or seminars.

And you don’t necessarily need to request funding from your supervisor, either. There are dozens of online courses being presented by entrepreneurs and authors about these very subjects. Udemy and Creative Live both feature online courses at very reasonable prices. And some come with completion certificates for your portfolio!

Another way to improve your soft skills is by connecting with an employee at your organization who has the position you are seeking.

Express your desire to move up in the organization, and ask to shadow that person or see if you can sit in on some of her meetings. Offer to take that individual out for coffee and ask what her secret is! Take copious notes and then immerse yourself in the learning.

The key here is not to copy your new mentor (think Jennifer Jason Leigh in “Single White Female.” Just kidding). Rather, you want to observe, learn and then adapt according to your strengths. And don’t forget to thank that person for their time.

4. Develop Your Strategy

Do you even know specifically WHY you want to be promoted anyway? Do you see a future at this company? Do you have a one year, five year, or ten year plan? How often do you consider your “why” and insure that it aligns with your “what?”

Sit down and do an old-fashioned Pro and Con list. Two columns:

Pro’s on one side, Con’s on the other.

Write down every positive aspect of your current job and then every negative one. Which list is longer? Are there any themes present?

Advertising

Look at your lists and choose the most exciting Pro’s and the most frustrating Con’s. Do those two Pro’s make the Con’s worth it? If you can’t answer that question with a “yes” then getting promoted at your current organization may not be what you really want.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. –Mark Twain

Mel Carson writes about this on Goalcast that many other authors and speakers have written about finding your professional purpose.[4]

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Why is it that you do what you do?
  • What thrills you about your current job role or career?
  • What does a great day look like?
  • What does success look like beyond the paycheck?
  • What does real success feel like for you?
  • How do you want to feel about your impact on the world when you retire?

These questions would be great to reflect on in a journal or with your supervisor in your next one-on-one meeting. Or, bring it up with one of your Vital Work Friends over coffee.

See, what you might find is that being stuck is your choice. And you can set yourself on the path of moving up where you are, or moving on to something different.

Because sometimes the real promotion is finding your life’s purpose. And like Mastercard says, that’s Priceless.

More Resources About Career Advancement

Featured photo credit: Razvan Chisu via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next