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Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace

Withstanding Personal Attack in the Workplace
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It’s been said that a man who stands on principle is bound to face personal attack. In my line of work, school administration, this has certainly been true as attacks can come literally from out of the blue. A longtime colleague can take you on, seemingly out of the blue with a laundry list of complaints. The next day, an attack might come from a parent whose child isn’t receiving the attention they deserve. Neither may be a real attack but perception is reality and when someone disagrees with us, we can’t help but to get worked up. The key is in choosing the appropriate response for each workplace moment of inevitable stress. Here are some keys when personal attack rises its ugly head in the workplace.

  1. Consider the source. Is your attacker a serial complainer? If so, disregard the comment as par for the course and move on. On the other hand, if the attack is coming from a reasonable person with a good intention, step back and listen to what they have to say. No one person has the total truth so it’s very possible that they have an angle from which you can benefit.
  2. Consider the source’s reasons. If your attacker is hurt or angry, keep in mind that they may be acting out of emotion. When this occurs, find a way to help them calm down and articulate the real reasons for their angst.
  3. Consider the bigger picture. Will your response to the personal attack affect the community in a positive way? Are you willing to cut a deal to save “now” without seeing how it will affect “later”? Keep in mind that each decision affects folks beyond just the two parties involved. As the head disciplinarian in a small New Jersey high school, I am reminded every day that any significant negotiation that I enter into now will probably return later, often in ways that aren’t helpful for the school as a whole. On the other hand, if I can stick to the policies of the school, everyone benefits both now and later.
  4. Cultivate strategies for stress reduction. If I asked you to list the top four or five ways that you minimize stress, would you be able to populate your list? Do you have a menu of options for when work gets crazy and personal attacks chip away at your self esteem? Whether it’s jogging, meditation or reading a good mystery novel, stress mediation is no longer a luxury that we can afford to bypass. My advice: work on your stress reduction techniques and practice them each week. When personal attack comes up, your ability to handle the stress will be further honed.
  5. Focus on the other areas of your life. Those that pour every moment of life into work are bound to do two things: make a difference at work for a short period of time and face burn out down the road. Rather than take on the latter, maximize the former by working on other areas of life. Grab a hobby, spend tons of time with your family and enjoy your home. That formula has worked for me when times get tough at work and they are bound to work for you as well.

Mike St. Pierre is the Dean of Students at Oratory Prep in Summit, NJ and blogs daily about productivity at thedailysaint.com

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Last Updated on November 26, 2019

How to Motivate Yourself: 13 Simple Ways to Try Now

How to Motivate Yourself: 13 Simple Ways to Try Now

Who needs Tony Robbins when you can motivate yourself? Overcoming the emotional hurdle to get stuff done when you’d rather sit on the couch isn’t always easy. But unless calling in sick and waking up at noon have no consequences for you, it’s often a must.

For those of you who never procrastinate, distract yourself or drag your feet when you should be doing something important, well done so far! But for the rest of you, it’s good to have a library of motivational boosters to move along.

Despite your best efforts, passion, habits and a flow-producing environment can fail. In that case, it’s time to find whatever emotional pump-up you can use to get started.

Whether you’re starting a business, trying to los weight or breaking a bad habit, you’ll learn how to motivate yourself with different techniques here:

1. Go Back to “Why”

Focusing on a dull task doesn’t make it any more attractive. Zooming out and asking yourself why you are bothering in the first place will make it more appealing.

If you can’t figure out why, then there’s a good chance you shouldn’t bother with it in the first place.

2. Go for Five

Start working for five minutes. Often that little push will be enough to get you going.

3. Move Around

Get your body moving as you would if you were extremely motivated to do something. This ‘faking it’ approach to motivation may seem silly or crude but it works.

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4. Find the Next Step

If it seems impossible to work on a project for you, you can try to focus on the next immediate step.

Fighting an amorphous blob of work will only cause procrastination. Chunk it up so that it becomes manageable. Learn how to stop procrastinating in this guide.

5. Find Your Itch

What is keeping you from working? Don’t let the itch continue without isolating it and removing the problem.

Are you unmotivated because you feel overwhelmed, tired, afraid, bored, restless or angry? Maybe it is because you aren’t sure you have time or delegated tasks haven’t been finished yet?

6. Deconstruct Your Fears

I’m sure you don’t have a phobia about getting stuff done. But at the same time, hidden fears or anxieties can keep you from getting real work completed.

Isolate the unknowns and make yourself confident, you can handle the worst case scenario.

7. Get a Partner

Find someone who will motivate you when you’re feeling lazy. I have a friend I go to the gym with. Besides spotting weight, having a friend can help motivate you to work hard when you’d normally quit.

8. Kickstart Your Day

Plan out tomorrow. Get up early and place all the important things early in the morning. Building momentum early in the day can usually carry you forward far later.

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Having a morning routine is a good idea for you to stay motivated!

9. Read Books

Read not just self-help or motivational books but any book that has new ideas. New ideas get your mental gears turning and can build motivation. Here’re more reasons to read every day.

Learning new ideas puts your brain in motion so it requires less time to speed up to your tasks.

10. Get the Right Tools

Your environment can have a profound effect on your enthusiasm. Computers that are too slow, inefficient applications or a vehicle that breaks down constantly can kill your motivation.

Building motivation is almost as important as avoiding the traps that can stop it.

11. Be Careful with the Small Problems

The worst killer of motivation is facing a seemingly small problem that creates endless frustration.

Reframe little problems that must be fixed as bigger ones or they will kill any drive you have.

12. Develop a Mantra

Find a few statements that focus your mind and motivate you. It doesn’t matter whether they are pulled from a tacky motivational poster or just a few words to tell you what to do.

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If you aren’t sure where to start, a good personal mantra is “Do it now!” You can find more here too: 7 Empowering Affirmations That Will Help You Be Mentally Strong

13. Build on Success

Success creates success. When you’ve just won, it is easy to feel motivated about almost anything. Emotions tend not to be situation specific, so a small win, whether it is a compliment from a colleague or finishing two thirds of your tasks before noon can turn you into a juggernaut.

There are many ways you can place small successes earlier on to spur motivation later. Structuring your to-do lists, placing straightforward tasks such as exercising early in the day or giving yourself an affirmation can do the trick.

Bonus: Staying Motivated Forever

The best way to motivate yourself is to organize your life so you don’t have to. If work is a constant battle for you, perhaps it is time to start thinking about a new job. The idea is that explicit motivational techniques should be a backup, not your regular routine.

Here are some other things to consider making work flow more naturally:

Passion

Do things you have a passion for. We all have to do things we don’t want to. But if life has become a chronic source of dull chores, you’ve got a big problem that needs fixing.

Not sure what your passion is to get you motivated? This will help you: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

Habits

You can’t put everything on autopilot. I’ve found putting a few core habits in place creates a structure for the day.

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Waking up at the same time, working at the same times and having a similar productive routine makes it easier to do the next day.

This guide will be useful for you if you’re looking to build good habits: Understand Your Habits to Control Them 100%

Flow

Flow is the state where your mind is completely focused on the task at hand. While there are many factors that go into producing this state, having the right challenge level is a big part.

Find ways to tweak your tasks so they hover in that sweet spot between boredom and maddening frustration.

Easily distracted and hard to focus? Here’s your solution.

Final Thoughts

With all these tips I’ve shared with you, now you know what to do when you’re feeling unmotivated.

Find your passion and develop a positive mantra so when the next time negativity hits you again, you know how to stay positive and motivated!

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Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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