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13 Reasons Why You Will Never Be Successful

13 Reasons Why You Will Never Be Successful

Do you know why the odds of becoming a huge success is so low? Because it’s insanely tough. But at the same time, the changes you can make in your life to exponentially increase the odds are actually very simple. Simple, but not easy. It’s all in your mind. Are you ready to make major changes in your life? Let’s get to it. Here are the 13 reasons why you will never be successful in life.

1. You push off responsibility

Accept full responsibility for every single thing that happens in your life. Don’t blame others. Don’t blame circumstances. Don’t blame what you lack. And definitely don’t blame your luck. You will always have choices to make in every situation, and these choices will always have consequences.

Take responsibility. Make the right choices, because they will either steer you that bit closer to your goals, or away from them. Success is nothing but a series of all the right choices you make. If you want something, got get it yourself. You’re in charge. Period.

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ William Ernest Henley

2. You procrastinate

Understand the cost of being a procrastinator. It is like a credit card. You have a lot of fun while at it, but wait until you get the bill. Procrastination is deadly.

I don’t care what your reason for procrastinating is. The Law of Diminishing Intent states that if you don’t take action soon after the idea strikes you and the emotion is high, fairly soon the urgency starts to diminish. And the longer you wait, the less likely you will ever get the job done.

Start off by making the decision to declare war on your procrastination devil. By just being aware that you need to be at an endless battle with this devil, you are already ahead of the majority.

Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. ~ Wayne Gretzky

3. You are a perfectionist

Perfection does not exist. It is only a great excuse not to get started. Do your best; strive to be good; strive to become better than you were yesterday; but forget perfection. Because if your work truly matters to you, you will never ever reach that state anyway.

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And stop waiting for the ideal moment or the ideal plan. It will never happen. If it does, something is bound to go haywire along the way. You just need to get started. And then again tomorrow. And again the day after.

Your dreams will never come to fruition if you are preparing and waiting around. They will if you apply and take massive action.

Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. ~ Napoleon Hill

4. You are afraid of criticism

If you are going to be achieving anything great, expect tons of criticism and haters. Learn to handle them. Learn the kind of criticism you should accept and the kind that you should discard. Not all criticism is of use.

In any case, do not let the fear of criticism stop you from doing what you have to do. You do not have to please everyone. That’s a sure route to failure. This is your mission. This is your life. Let’s do this.

To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. ~ Aristotle

5. You are afraid of failure

Do things for success, but expect failure along the way. Failure is absolutely necessary. Failure is a life lesson designed to bring out the best in you. If you are too afraid to fail, then don’t start.

It’s okay to have some fear, but don’t be too discouraged when you do fail. Because it’s not about how many times or how big you fall, it’s about how many times you’re willing to get up and try again. And I hope you answered that with, “as many times as it takes.”

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default. ~ J.K. Rowling

6. You are darn lazy

If you’re putting in the same amount of work as the people around you, consider yourself lazy. It’s a competitive world, and if you want to stand out at all, then prepare yourself mentally and work two times harder than everyone else. If others work five hours, you work seven. Work your butt off. It pays. And forget all your partying.

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~ J. Paul Getty

7. You lack originality and creativity

You are already lazy. It’s not any better that you are doing the same thing everyone else is doing. You need to be unique if you want to stand out as well.

Be original and get those creative juices flowing. Dare to be different from the crowd. You can get ideas and inspiration from others. You can even copy to a certain extent. But in the end, be your authentic and genuine self. People are dying to see the unique you, and not another copycat.

Trusting your individual uniqueness challenges you to lay yourself open. ~ James Broughton

8. You play it solo

We humans were biologically designed to flourish together. Success does not come by our self. There’s a reason why we like to say we “could not have done it without you” in the Oscars Academy Awards. It’s true.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Learn to genuinely connect with others and work together. Support one another. Likewise, help and offer value to others. You cannot expect to receive when you don’t give.

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is a success. ~ Henry Ford

9. You are ungrateful

Being grateful increases your level of happiness dramatically. You will be much better equipped to face life’s challenges when your natural state is full of joy, happiness, and gratitude. Happiness leads to success, and not the other way round.

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Start adopting an attitude of gratitude and if need be, keep a gratitude journal. Look around as you read this. I bet there’s at least one thing that would make life very different for you if you lost it. And make no mistake, this is not a chance for you to settle with what you have. Being grateful and settling are two very different things.

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~ Brian Tracy

10. You fail to learn from your mistakes

Along the way, you’re going to make a ton of mistakes. Accept them with humility. Those are some free life lessons. Approach every mistake you make as a special learning experience sent to teach you something valuable and necessary for your success in the future.

Einstein says that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Learn from your mistakes and do not repeat them.

Learning from your mistakes is an essential skill that enables you to develop the resilience to be a master of change rather than a victim of change. ~ Brian Tracy

11. You don’t believe in yourself

“He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right” (Confucius). Drop all your self-limiting beliefs. If you want something with a strong enough passion, you will find ways to make the impossible happen. The only limits you ever set up for yourself are all in the mind. Change them.

You are unstoppable. Dream big because you are destined for greatness. Believe that you will be a big success. You already have everything it takes to crush life. All you have to do right now is succeed.

When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve. ~ Napoleon Hill

12. You lack consistency

Consistency is crucial to your success. Develop the habit of showing up all the time, whether you feel like it or not. The pro doesn’t give himself excuses. He just gets the work done. Short bursts of fiery enthusiasm will not cut it.

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Come up with a system for yourself and make sure you stick with it. Deciding and succeeding to hit the gym four times a week is far more superior than deciding to hit the gym seven times a week and failing to execute three times. Yes, even when the outcome is the same, because you are training your mind to be weak by not doing what you say you will do. That weakness will rub off negatively on other areas of your life.

Long-term consistency will always trump short-term intensity.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle

13. You have stopped growing

Successful people understand that they need to sharpen their skills all the time. They understand that once they stop, they will fall behind the competition. They’ve made the decision early in the game to become excellent and the top in their field.

The moment you stop growing and learning is the moment you truly fail. That includes your personal development and all other areas of your life. In fact, the moment you decide your level of personal development is enough, that’s when you become a failure of life.

Your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development. ~ Jim Rohn

I don’t write articles just to entertain. My work on this planet is to serve and inspire others. To inspire action. I’ve learned along the way that if you truly want to succeed, you have to focus on one thing at a time and master it. Don’t multitask. It is true that all 13 are essential for your success, but you are setting yourself up for failure if you try to master all 13 life changes simultaneously. Slow and steady wins the race. Pick just one and focus all your energies on it. If I were you, I’d choose consistency.

Good luck, and to your success!

Featured photo credit: Erik Moberg via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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