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Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

A sister-sister relationship is special in many ways. Few people will understand your childhood and the things you’ve gone through better than a sibling. When it comes to sisters, though, we constantly oscillate between loving and hating one another. Your sister will likely be with you for some of your best memories in life, but also have a special knack for getting under your skin. And she’ll say the same about you. You might be fighting like cats and dogs or acting like best friends, but the sister-sister relationship is never boring.

You borrow things from your sister…

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    What’s better than always having an extra closet to look through? Having a sister means you double the clothes to pick from (as long as you share similar styles).

    …but she always steals your clothes.

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      On the other hand, your sister is more than likely to steal your things without asking, and possibly never return them.

      You’ll always have someone to vent to…

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        Having a sister is an incredible way to vent your social and romantic troubles. Your sister always seems to have experienced something similar.

        …but sometimes she’ll spill the beans.

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          Unfortunately, many sisters have been known to share certain people’s secrets. (I.e., yours.)

          You get each other in ways no one else can…

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            Growing up in the same house with similar situations means that you and your sister understand each other better than almost anyone else. It’s truly a special relationship, one that you likely won’t experience elsewhere.

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            …but people always expect the two of you to be the same person.

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              At the same time, because people see you together so much, many of them expect the two of you to be the same. Not only that, teachers, friends, and others will undoubtedly expect you to have the exact same traits as your sister.

              You always have someone to get advice from…

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                Having a sister around is the perfect sounding board when you need advice.

                …but sometimes you get advice you didn’t ask for.

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                  Unfortunately, that same source of wisdom likes to give advice even when you’re not in the mood or don’t want to hear it.

                  You have a partner in crime…

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                    Having a sister is great because you have someone to go to when you need to pull off a scheme. Last-minute Halloween costumes, forgotten projects, or toilet-papering an ex-boyfriend’s house are all game.

                    …but sometimes she’ll blow you off.

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                      That is, if she’s home. If you’re the less popular sister, your sister will sometimes blow you off for her friends.

                      You have someone to cover your weak spots…

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                        Sisters are great because they’re willing to help you out in ways you’re not skilled. Whether that’s homework, your social life, or any other concern, they’ve got your back.

                        …but sometimes they’ll steal the spotlight.

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                          However, having a sister with things to teach you means she is also likely quite talented. Just as people expect you to be the same, sometimes it can be difficult to avoid being caught your sister’s shadow.

                          You always have more makeup and hair products at your disposal…

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                            Just like having another closet to pick through, having a sister also means having extra makeup and beauty tools at your fingertips.

                            …but sometimes there’s not enough room in the bathroom to breathe.

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                              If your sister is really into beauty tools, you might find that sometimes the bathroom doesn’t have enough space to brush your teeth in.

                              You have someone to help you with your social life…

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                                Sisters are also great tools for your social life. Whether you need someone to give you advice, or simply an excuse to get you out of an unwanted commitment, sisters will usually come to the rescue.

                                …but it’s not fun if you’re the less popular one.

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                                  If your sisters are more popular than you, it can be difficult to struggle socially while watching your sister have it all.

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                                  You always have someone who understands why that time of the month sucks…

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                                    Another serious positive to having a sister is someone to commiserate over your monthly visits.

                                    …and someone to fight with when you’re both in a bad mood (at that time of the month).

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                                      With lady troubles come hormonal problems, and it can be easy to get really catty with each other when both of you are on different sides of your cycle.

                                      You always have someone to borrow female protection from…

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                                        Sisters are also there to bail you out when you need feminine protection. Whenever you are out and about, but don’t want to ask someone you’re with, a sister always bail you out.

                                        …but she also might use the last tampon without getting more.

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                                          Similarly, sisters are known to take the last tampon from the bathroom without asking Mom to buy more.

                                          You have someone to shop with…

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                                            Sisters can be an incredible shopping partner, especially when you share similar styles.

                                            …unless she looks better in everything you try on.

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                                              It is slightly frustrating, though, if you go to the mall and everything looks better on your sister.

                                              You can have a sleepover with someone every night…

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                                                Sisters are also a lovely part of life when you’re young and get to share a room. Sharing toys and a bunk bed can make it feel like a sleepover every night.

                                                …until you’re old enough to need your space.

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                                                  Then your shared room becomes an estrogen-packed prison.

                                                  You’re adorable in matching outfits when you’re little…

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                                                    And the pictures will make your future significant others melt.

                                                    …but when you’re teenagers you could kill each other for showing up to breakfast in the same outfit.

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                                                      Especially as teenagers, sisters stubbornly commit to their outfits. Especially when you show up in the same thing, it can be frustrating.

                                                      Featured photo credit: beautiful hipster young women sisters friends in the city via shutterstock.com

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                                                      Alicia Prince

                                                      A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                                                      Last Updated on May 28, 2020

                                                      10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

                                                      10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

                                                      Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

                                                      You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

                                                      Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

                                                      You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

                                                      Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

                                                      1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

                                                      If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

                                                      Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

                                                      When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

                                                      Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

                                                      So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

                                                      Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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                                                      2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

                                                      Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

                                                      Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

                                                      • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
                                                      • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
                                                      • Answer a few Superpower Questions

                                                      Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

                                                      3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

                                                      Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

                                                      The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

                                                      You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

                                                      Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

                                                      Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

                                                      4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

                                                      The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

                                                      Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

                                                      To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

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                                                      This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

                                                      5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

                                                      Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

                                                      Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

                                                      • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
                                                      • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
                                                      • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

                                                      The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.

                                                      Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

                                                      6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

                                                      I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

                                                      To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

                                                      Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

                                                      A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

                                                      Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

                                                      Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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                                                      7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

                                                      Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

                                                      Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

                                                      What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

                                                      Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

                                                      8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

                                                      Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

                                                      Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

                                                      What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

                                                      These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

                                                      9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

                                                      Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

                                                      This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

                                                      Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

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                                                      “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

                                                      10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

                                                      Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

                                                      Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

                                                      You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

                                                      You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

                                                      Final Thoughts

                                                      Eleanor Roosevelt said,

                                                      “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

                                                      Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

                                                      By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

                                                      If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

                                                      This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

                                                      Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

                                                      More About Success in Life

                                                      Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

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