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Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate
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A sister-sister relationship is special in many ways. Few people will understand your childhood and the things you’ve gone through better than a sibling. When it comes to sisters, though, we constantly oscillate between loving and hating one another. Your sister will likely be with you for some of your best memories in life, but also have a special knack for getting under your skin. And she’ll say the same about you. You might be fighting like cats and dogs or acting like best friends, but the sister-sister relationship is never boring.

You borrow things from your sister…

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    What’s better than always having an extra closet to look through? Having a sister means you double the clothes to pick from (as long as you share similar styles).

    …but she always steals your clothes.

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      On the other hand, your sister is more than likely to steal your things without asking, and possibly never return them.

      You’ll always have someone to vent to…

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        Having a sister is an incredible way to vent your social and romantic troubles. Your sister always seems to have experienced something similar.

        …but sometimes she’ll spill the beans.

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          Unfortunately, many sisters have been known to share certain people’s secrets. (I.e., yours.)

          You get each other in ways no one else can…

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            Growing up in the same house with similar situations means that you and your sister understand each other better than almost anyone else. It’s truly a special relationship, one that you likely won’t experience elsewhere.

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            …but people always expect the two of you to be the same person.

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              At the same time, because people see you together so much, many of them expect the two of you to be the same. Not only that, teachers, friends, and others will undoubtedly expect you to have the exact same traits as your sister.

              You always have someone to get advice from…

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                Having a sister around is the perfect sounding board when you need advice.

                …but sometimes you get advice you didn’t ask for.

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                  Unfortunately, that same source of wisdom likes to give advice even when you’re not in the mood or don’t want to hear it.

                  You have a partner in crime…

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                    Having a sister is great because you have someone to go to when you need to pull off a scheme. Last-minute Halloween costumes, forgotten projects, or toilet-papering an ex-boyfriend’s house are all game.

                    …but sometimes she’ll blow you off.

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                      That is, if she’s home. If you’re the less popular sister, your sister will sometimes blow you off for her friends.

                      You have someone to cover your weak spots…

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                        Sisters are great because they’re willing to help you out in ways you’re not skilled. Whether that’s homework, your social life, or any other concern, they’ve got your back.

                        …but sometimes they’ll steal the spotlight.

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                          However, having a sister with things to teach you means she is also likely quite talented. Just as people expect you to be the same, sometimes it can be difficult to avoid being caught your sister’s shadow.

                          You always have more makeup and hair products at your disposal…

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                            Just like having another closet to pick through, having a sister also means having extra makeup and beauty tools at your fingertips.

                            …but sometimes there’s not enough room in the bathroom to breathe.

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                              If your sister is really into beauty tools, you might find that sometimes the bathroom doesn’t have enough space to brush your teeth in.

                              You have someone to help you with your social life…

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                                Sisters are also great tools for your social life. Whether you need someone to give you advice, or simply an excuse to get you out of an unwanted commitment, sisters will usually come to the rescue.

                                …but it’s not fun if you’re the less popular one.

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                                  If your sisters are more popular than you, it can be difficult to struggle socially while watching your sister have it all.

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                                  You always have someone who understands why that time of the month sucks…

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                                    Another serious positive to having a sister is someone to commiserate over your monthly visits.

                                    …and someone to fight with when you’re both in a bad mood (at that time of the month).

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                                      With lady troubles come hormonal problems, and it can be easy to get really catty with each other when both of you are on different sides of your cycle.

                                      You always have someone to borrow female protection from…

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                                        Sisters are also there to bail you out when you need feminine protection. Whenever you are out and about, but don’t want to ask someone you’re with, a sister always bail you out.

                                        …but she also might use the last tampon without getting more.

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                                          Similarly, sisters are known to take the last tampon from the bathroom without asking Mom to buy more.

                                          You have someone to shop with…

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                                            Sisters can be an incredible shopping partner, especially when you share similar styles.

                                            …unless she looks better in everything you try on.

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                                              It is slightly frustrating, though, if you go to the mall and everything looks better on your sister.

                                              You can have a sleepover with someone every night…

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                                                Sisters are also a lovely part of life when you’re young and get to share a room. Sharing toys and a bunk bed can make it feel like a sleepover every night.

                                                …until you’re old enough to need your space.

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                                                  Then your shared room becomes an estrogen-packed prison.

                                                  You’re adorable in matching outfits when you’re little…

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                                                    And the pictures will make your future significant others melt.

                                                    …but when you’re teenagers you could kill each other for showing up to breakfast in the same outfit.

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                                                      Especially as teenagers, sisters stubbornly commit to their outfits. Especially when you show up in the same thing, it can be frustrating.

                                                      Featured photo credit: beautiful hipster young women sisters friends in the city via shutterstock.com

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                                                      Alicia Prince

                                                      A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                                                      Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                                      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                                      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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                                                      You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                                      Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                                      Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                                      Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                                      1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                                      According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                                      “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                                      Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                                      Warming up

                                                      If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                                      If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                                      Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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                                                      1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                                      2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                                      3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                                      Stay hydrated

                                                      Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                                      To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                                      Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                                      Meditate

                                                      Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                                      Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                                      Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                                      Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                                      2. Focus on your goal

                                                      One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                                      Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                                      Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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                                                      Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                                      If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                                      3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                                      There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                                      ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                                      It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                                      Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                                      Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                                      Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                                      4. Understand your content

                                                      Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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                                                      However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                                      “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                                      Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                                      Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                                      One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                                      5. Practice makes perfect

                                                      Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                                      In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                                      Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                                      6. Be authentic

                                                      There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                                      Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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                                                      Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                                      To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                                      With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                                      Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                                      7. Post speech evaluation

                                                      Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                                      Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                                      We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                                      You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                                      Improve your next speech

                                                      As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                                      Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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                                                      • How did I do?
                                                      • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                                      • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                                      • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                                      • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                                      • How was the flow of the speech?

                                                      Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                                      If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                                      Reference

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