Advertising
Advertising

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

A sister-sister relationship is special in many ways. Few people will understand your childhood and the things you’ve gone through better than a sibling. When it comes to sisters, though, we constantly oscillate between loving and hating one another. Your sister will likely be with you for some of your best memories in life, but also have a special knack for getting under your skin. And she’ll say the same about you. You might be fighting like cats and dogs or acting like best friends, but the sister-sister relationship is never boring.

You borrow things from your sister…

url-8

    What’s better than always having an extra closet to look through? Having a sister means you double the clothes to pick from (as long as you share similar styles).

    …but she always steals your clothes.

    url

      On the other hand, your sister is more than likely to steal your things without asking, and possibly never return them.

      You’ll always have someone to vent to…

      url-6

        Having a sister is an incredible way to vent your social and romantic troubles. Your sister always seems to have experienced something similar.

        …but sometimes she’ll spill the beans.

        url-1

          Unfortunately, many sisters have been known to share certain people’s secrets. (I.e., yours.)

          You get each other in ways no one else can…

          url-14

            Growing up in the same house with similar situations means that you and your sister understand each other better than almost anyone else. It’s truly a special relationship, one that you likely won’t experience elsewhere.

            Advertising

            …but people always expect the two of you to be the same person.

            url-15

              At the same time, because people see you together so much, many of them expect the two of you to be the same. Not only that, teachers, friends, and others will undoubtedly expect you to have the exact same traits as your sister.

              You always have someone to get advice from…

              url-5

                Having a sister around is the perfect sounding board when you need advice.

                …but sometimes you get advice you didn’t ask for.

                url-9

                  Unfortunately, that same source of wisdom likes to give advice even when you’re not in the mood or don’t want to hear it.

                  You have a partner in crime…

                  url-12

                    Having a sister is great because you have someone to go to when you need to pull off a scheme. Last-minute Halloween costumes, forgotten projects, or toilet-papering an ex-boyfriend’s house are all game.

                    …but sometimes she’ll blow you off.

                    url-2

                      That is, if she’s home. If you’re the less popular sister, your sister will sometimes blow you off for her friends.

                      You have someone to cover your weak spots…

                      Advertising

                      url-12

                        Sisters are great because they’re willing to help you out in ways you’re not skilled. Whether that’s homework, your social life, or any other concern, they’ve got your back.

                        …but sometimes they’ll steal the spotlight.

                        url-4

                          However, having a sister with things to teach you means she is also likely quite talented. Just as people expect you to be the same, sometimes it can be difficult to avoid being caught your sister’s shadow.

                          You always have more makeup and hair products at your disposal…

                          url-9

                            Just like having another closet to pick through, having a sister also means having extra makeup and beauty tools at your fingertips.

                            …but sometimes there’s not enough room in the bathroom to breathe.

                            url-11

                              If your sister is really into beauty tools, you might find that sometimes the bathroom doesn’t have enough space to brush your teeth in.

                              You have someone to help you with your social life…

                              url

                                Sisters are also great tools for your social life. Whether you need someone to give you advice, or simply an excuse to get you out of an unwanted commitment, sisters will usually come to the rescue.

                                …but it’s not fun if you’re the less popular one.

                                url-13

                                  If your sisters are more popular than you, it can be difficult to struggle socially while watching your sister have it all.

                                  Advertising

                                  You always have someone who understands why that time of the month sucks…

                                  url-6

                                    Another serious positive to having a sister is someone to commiserate over your monthly visits.

                                    …and someone to fight with when you’re both in a bad mood (at that time of the month).

                                    url-8

                                      With lady troubles come hormonal problems, and it can be easy to get really catty with each other when both of you are on different sides of your cycle.

                                      You always have someone to borrow female protection from…

                                      url-14

                                        Sisters are also there to bail you out when you need feminine protection. Whenever you are out and about, but don’t want to ask someone you’re with, a sister always bail you out.

                                        …but she also might use the last tampon without getting more.

                                        url-3

                                          Similarly, sisters are known to take the last tampon from the bathroom without asking Mom to buy more.

                                          You have someone to shop with…

                                          url-11

                                            Sisters can be an incredible shopping partner, especially when you share similar styles.

                                            …unless she looks better in everything you try on.

                                            Advertising

                                            url-4

                                              It is slightly frustrating, though, if you go to the mall and everything looks better on your sister.

                                              You can have a sleepover with someone every night…

                                              url-2

                                                Sisters are also a lovely part of life when you’re young and get to share a room. Sharing toys and a bunk bed can make it feel like a sleepover every night.

                                                …until you’re old enough to need your space.

                                                url-1

                                                  Then your shared room becomes an estrogen-packed prison.

                                                  You’re adorable in matching outfits when you’re little…

                                                  url-5

                                                    And the pictures will make your future significant others melt.

                                                    …but when you’re teenagers you could kill each other for showing up to breakfast in the same outfit.

                                                    url-3

                                                      Especially as teenagers, sisters stubbornly commit to their outfits. Especially when you show up in the same thing, it can be frustrating.

                                                      Featured photo credit: beautiful hipster young women sisters friends in the city via shutterstock.com

                                                      More by this author

                                                      When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 10 Things You Should Do If You’re Unemployed common words 18 Common Words That You Should Replace in Your Writing Wondering Why K Pop is So Popular? Here are 10 Reasons The 10 Most (And Least) Expensive States In America

                                                      Trending in Communication

                                                      1 The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach 2 How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home 3 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 4 18 Ways to Have Effective Communication in the Workplace 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You

                                                      Read Next

                                                      Advertising
                                                      Advertising
                                                      Advertising

                                                      Last Updated on February 21, 2019

                                                      The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

                                                      The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

                                                      In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

                                                      Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

                                                      Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

                                                      Conflicts are literally everywhere.

                                                      Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

                                                      Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

                                                      Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

                                                      Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

                                                      Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

                                                      The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

                                                      Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

                                                      Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

                                                      How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

                                                      Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

                                                      Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

                                                      How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

                                                      Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

                                                      Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

                                                      Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

                                                      How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

                                                      Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

                                                      Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

                                                      How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

                                                      Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

                                                      Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

                                                      Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

                                                      How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

                                                      Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

                                                      Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

                                                      How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

                                                      Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

                                                      Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

                                                      Read Next