Advertising
Advertising

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

Why the Sister-Sister Relationship Is Always Love-Hate

A sister-sister relationship is special in many ways. Few people will understand your childhood and the things you’ve gone through better than a sibling. When it comes to sisters, though, we constantly oscillate between loving and hating one another. Your sister will likely be with you for some of your best memories in life, but also have a special knack for getting under your skin. And she’ll say the same about you. You might be fighting like cats and dogs or acting like best friends, but the sister-sister relationship is never boring.

You borrow things from your sister…

url-8

    What’s better than always having an extra closet to look through? Having a sister means you double the clothes to pick from (as long as you share similar styles).

    …but she always steals your clothes.

    url

      On the other hand, your sister is more than likely to steal your things without asking, and possibly never return them.

      You’ll always have someone to vent to…

      url-6

        Having a sister is an incredible way to vent your social and romantic troubles. Your sister always seems to have experienced something similar.

        …but sometimes she’ll spill the beans.

        url-1

          Unfortunately, many sisters have been known to share certain people’s secrets. (I.e., yours.)

          You get each other in ways no one else can…

          url-14

            Growing up in the same house with similar situations means that you and your sister understand each other better than almost anyone else. It’s truly a special relationship, one that you likely won’t experience elsewhere.

            Advertising

            …but people always expect the two of you to be the same person.

            url-15

              At the same time, because people see you together so much, many of them expect the two of you to be the same. Not only that, teachers, friends, and others will undoubtedly expect you to have the exact same traits as your sister.

              You always have someone to get advice from…

              url-5

                Having a sister around is the perfect sounding board when you need advice.

                …but sometimes you get advice you didn’t ask for.

                url-9

                  Unfortunately, that same source of wisdom likes to give advice even when you’re not in the mood or don’t want to hear it.

                  You have a partner in crime…

                  url-12

                    Having a sister is great because you have someone to go to when you need to pull off a scheme. Last-minute Halloween costumes, forgotten projects, or toilet-papering an ex-boyfriend’s house are all game.

                    …but sometimes she’ll blow you off.

                    url-2

                      That is, if she’s home. If you’re the less popular sister, your sister will sometimes blow you off for her friends.

                      You have someone to cover your weak spots…

                      Advertising

                      url-12

                        Sisters are great because they’re willing to help you out in ways you’re not skilled. Whether that’s homework, your social life, or any other concern, they’ve got your back.

                        …but sometimes they’ll steal the spotlight.

                        url-4

                          However, having a sister with things to teach you means she is also likely quite talented. Just as people expect you to be the same, sometimes it can be difficult to avoid being caught your sister’s shadow.

                          You always have more makeup and hair products at your disposal…

                          url-9

                            Just like having another closet to pick through, having a sister also means having extra makeup and beauty tools at your fingertips.

                            …but sometimes there’s not enough room in the bathroom to breathe.

                            url-11

                              If your sister is really into beauty tools, you might find that sometimes the bathroom doesn’t have enough space to brush your teeth in.

                              You have someone to help you with your social life…

                              url

                                Sisters are also great tools for your social life. Whether you need someone to give you advice, or simply an excuse to get you out of an unwanted commitment, sisters will usually come to the rescue.

                                …but it’s not fun if you’re the less popular one.

                                url-13

                                  If your sisters are more popular than you, it can be difficult to struggle socially while watching your sister have it all.

                                  Advertising

                                  You always have someone who understands why that time of the month sucks…

                                  url-6

                                    Another serious positive to having a sister is someone to commiserate over your monthly visits.

                                    …and someone to fight with when you’re both in a bad mood (at that time of the month).

                                    url-8

                                      With lady troubles come hormonal problems, and it can be easy to get really catty with each other when both of you are on different sides of your cycle.

                                      You always have someone to borrow female protection from…

                                      url-14

                                        Sisters are also there to bail you out when you need feminine protection. Whenever you are out and about, but don’t want to ask someone you’re with, a sister always bail you out.

                                        …but she also might use the last tampon without getting more.

                                        url-3

                                          Similarly, sisters are known to take the last tampon from the bathroom without asking Mom to buy more.

                                          You have someone to shop with…

                                          url-11

                                            Sisters can be an incredible shopping partner, especially when you share similar styles.

                                            …unless she looks better in everything you try on.

                                            Advertising

                                            url-4

                                              It is slightly frustrating, though, if you go to the mall and everything looks better on your sister.

                                              You can have a sleepover with someone every night…

                                              url-2

                                                Sisters are also a lovely part of life when you’re young and get to share a room. Sharing toys and a bunk bed can make it feel like a sleepover every night.

                                                …until you’re old enough to need your space.

                                                url-1

                                                  Then your shared room becomes an estrogen-packed prison.

                                                  You’re adorable in matching outfits when you’re little…

                                                  url-5

                                                    And the pictures will make your future significant others melt.

                                                    …but when you’re teenagers you could kill each other for showing up to breakfast in the same outfit.

                                                    url-3

                                                      Especially as teenagers, sisters stubbornly commit to their outfits. Especially when you show up in the same thing, it can be frustrating.

                                                      Featured photo credit: beautiful hipster young women sisters friends in the city via shutterstock.com

                                                      More by this author

                                                      Alicia Prince

                                                      A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

                                                      20 Unusual Uses for Coca-Cola That You’ve Never Considered 23 Killer Sites for Free Online Education Anyone Can Use 10 Things You Should Do If You’re Unemployed When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen common words 18 Common Words That You Should Replace in Your Writing

                                                      Trending in Communication

                                                      1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 3 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 4 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 5 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

                                                      Read Next

                                                      Advertising
                                                      Advertising
                                                      Advertising

                                                      Published on May 4, 2021

                                                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                                      They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                                                      In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                                                      How to Spot Fake People?

                                                      When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                                                      Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                                                      1. Full of Themselves

                                                      Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                                                      Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                                                      2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                                                      Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                                                      3. Zero Self-Reflection

                                                      To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                                                      Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                                                      4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                                                      Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                                                      A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                                                      5. Love Attention

                                                      As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                                                      6. People Pleaser

                                                      Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                                                      7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                                                      Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                                                      8. Crappy friend

                                                      Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                                                      It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                                                      The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                                                      How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                                                      It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                                                      There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      1. Boundaries

                                                      Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                                                      2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                                                      Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                                                      3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                                                      If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                                                      4. Ask for Advice

                                                      If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                                                      Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                                                      5. Dig Deeper

                                                      Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                                                      Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

                                                      Advertising

                                                      6. Practice Self-Care!

                                                      Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                                                      Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                                                      Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                                                      Final Thoughts

                                                      Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                                                      We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                                                      More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                                                      Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

                                                      Read Next