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Why Letting Go Seems Like The Last Option Even Though It’s The Best

Why Letting Go Seems Like The Last Option Even Though It’s The Best

“The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend upon the future. We let go of the present, which we have in our power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance, and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty.” – Seneca

Letting go is an essential practice to maintaining balance and inner peace. It is a cycle of surrendering, acceptance, having faith and self-love. This cycle is not something we do once but a cycle we must repeat everyday, maybe even numerous times a day, due to the incessant chatter of the mind. The voice in our head will continue to chatter in hopes of bringing us back to a place of self-doubt, fear and control.

So what are we letting go of? Whether it’s a relationship we are trying to make work, a job we really want or of what people think of us, we are letting go of trying to control the outcome of our desires.

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Desires are good, they motivate us, but sometimes life has a different, better plan for us… So, when do we know when it is the right time to let go? When our ego is running the show and our self-worth is at stake. This is usually the time that letting go seems like the least possible scenario. This is when letting go is necessary so we do not lose touch with ourselves.

Let’s take a look at five of the most common reasons we tend to cling onto our desires instead of surrendering and letting go:

1. FEAR.

Usually we are resisting change when we are stepping into the unknown. Let’s face it, the unknown is scary – we have no clue what to expect. This is a totally normal feeling! This is where reason #2 comes in…

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2. Lack of FAITH.

As a society, we are always looking for external gratification. We tend to have a lack of faith in our abilities, our worthiness as well our universe. This lack of faith will always bring us back to that dark place of fear, shame and control.

3. GUILT and SHAME.

Shame – that pesky feeling of, ‘I’m not good enough’ will keep us sticking around instead of letting go when the time is right. Shame allows us to inter-tangle our self-worth with our desires and the outcome can be crushing for our self-esteem. Guilt on the other hand, will make us question our actions and hold us back due to the thought that letting go = betrayal. Letting go is not betrayal; it is practicing self-love. These feelings of guilt, per Melody Beattie’s, The Language of Letting Go, are “Just after burn. Let them burn out.”

4. BELIEFS.

Let me clarify, the beliefs I am referring to are those beliefs that stem from our ego (the ones self-constructed and linked to our self-image). For example, the belief that we would have control of the situation if we were ___ (smart enough, pretty enough, taller, thinner etc.). This is why it is important to step back and be able to identify and witness the Ego at work and stop it in its tracks.

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5. TIMING.

Sometimes it is not the time for us to let go. For some reason, there is a lesson the universe is trying to teach us before we are able to let go, learn our lesson and move on. When the time in right, trust we will know…

So now, how do we let go when it is so difficult? Stay present. Listen to your heart. Then literally let go. I know it sounds hard, but this is one process we have total control over. Just like you have total control over the ability to let go of a physical object and let it drop it to the floor, you can let go of your desires, detach emotionally and walk away. Will your mind bother you about your decision to let go? You bet! Just ignore it… it will go away.

There is a tremendous amount of freedom and power that comes with letting go. We all have a choice – we can either:

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“Let go or be dragged.” – Zen proverb

The choice is yours.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Featured photo credit: Creative Commons via creativecommons.org

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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