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When You Start Being Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Start Being Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When you were a little kid, you had a personality, flaws, endearing qualities and behaviors that defined you as a mini human being. As you grew up, the influences of society, people around you, life experiences and genetic pre-disposition further molded you into who you are today – but with one big caveat.

As an adult, you have developed the mental skills to flex your behaviors and personality to fit what you think others expect and where you want your life to go in the future. While this is a powerful benefit of being a grown-up, it can lead to issues in relationships, personal growth and success. When you fake who you are or cover up your true personality, not only does it lead to short-term challenges, but it can seriously hurt your long-term life goals.

When you own your personal brand, start being yourself and step into your true nature by showing people your strengths, flaws, weirdness and real personality, it can open you up to a whole new world of amazingness!

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1. You will attract the right tribe.

When you are fake, you aren’t surrounded by the right people who will support you in your real growth and goals. Sure it may seem smart to pretend you’re a certain way if you want to live a certain way, but if it doesn’t fit with your actual personality, it will only make you appear inauthentic – meaning the people in that group will be unlikely to embrace you anyway. When you behave in ways that are in alignment with your strengths, flaws and deep-down soul goals, the right people will be attracted to you to help you on your journey.

2. You will make more money.

People buy from people. They like to hang out with and spend money when their innermost emotional needs are being met. When you can connect with people on a deeper level as your true self, you can create better relationships with co-workers, bosses, customers and clients. Whether you’re in customer service, sales, healthcare or education, it doesn’t matter. Every job requires human connection for growth. When you truly connect as the true human being that YOU are, the opportunities for personal and financial growth will follow.

3. You will meet the right partner.

Only when you show your true colors will the right love interest come along. Sure you can attract a mate by faking who you are are, but the long-term implications are that you will feel resentful, guilty or regretful when your true self isn’t having your needs met. Be real and the right person will come along to make you happy, and you will feel connected to them on a deeper level – flaws and all!

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4. You will be trusted.

When you are really being you, it leads to a consistent experience for people who interact with you. When they feel secure in knowing you are who you say and act like you are, they are more likely to trust you with big and small tasks, decisions and responsibilities. When you are a trusted person, your career success will increase, your personal relationships will flourish and you will feel more confident in your ability to interact with others.

5. You will be more confident.

Being fake can hit your self-confidence in a big way. Why? Because when you are fake it means you are constantly worrying about impressing people by changing who you are in certain scenarios. When you have to change so quickly and so often, it clouds decision-making which leads to bad decisions. When you are constantly making bad decisions it makes you feel bad about yourself leading to low self-esteem and suffering self-confidence.

6. You will be more energized.

It feels good to live authentically. It attracts the right people, opportunities and even money. When you are living in your true flow, you feel happier which boosts endorphins. These endorphins are feel-good chemicals that naturally increase energy, mood and positivity. It is a circular cycle that when you feel good, you look good, you do good, you attract good. All that goodness creates major energy in your life.

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7. You will sleep better.

Embracing the true you leads to positive emotions. The better you feel, the less worry you have. The less worry you have, the less time you lay in bed fretting over your decisions, future and actions. This means you have more time to actually sleep, rest and heal and less time tossing and turning with worry over what people think of you or how you can impress others.

8. You will feel less stressed.

It’s so much easier to be yourself than to fake it all the time. When you fake who you are you are constantly having to cover up lies, stress over your appearance and fret over your words. When you are just simply YOU, there is no need to worry over what you said or did in the past, how certain people perceive you or how you need to act in different environments. You have peace in your heart because you can just be you.

9. You will be seen as real.

When you act like your true self, you will be creating a consistent experience for people whether they hang out with you in person, read your social posts online or hear stories about you. This consistency massively boosts your credibility, likability and trustworthiness both personally and professionally.

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10. You will be happier.

All the stuff above will lead to increased happiness and peace in your personal and professional lives. Your happiness is based on your own ability to step into your greatness with a peaceful heart. When you embrace your true nature, this peace comes easier and greater joy and happiness will follow.

So you see, living a life that showcases your best and most challenging traits is the best way to move ahead. No matter who or what you’ve tried to be in the past, it’s time to let those false impressions go and step into the amazing life that only YOU can create.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: How do you stay true to yourself when you set goals? What can you do TODAY to get back to being who you really are?

Featured photo credit: Hipster woman taking photos with retro film camera on vintage ornamental wallpaper. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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