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When You Start Being Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Start Being Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When you were a little kid, you had a personality, flaws, endearing qualities and behaviors that defined you as a mini human being. As you grew up, the influences of society, people around you, life experiences and genetic pre-disposition further molded you into who you are today – but with one big caveat.

As an adult, you have developed the mental skills to flex your behaviors and personality to fit what you think others expect and where you want your life to go in the future. While this is a powerful benefit of being a grown-up, it can lead to issues in relationships, personal growth and success. When you fake who you are or cover up your true personality, not only does it lead to short-term challenges, but it can seriously hurt your long-term life goals.

When you own your personal brand, start being yourself and step into your true nature by showing people your strengths, flaws, weirdness and real personality, it can open you up to a whole new world of amazingness!

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1. You will attract the right tribe.

When you are fake, you aren’t surrounded by the right people who will support you in your real growth and goals. Sure it may seem smart to pretend you’re a certain way if you want to live a certain way, but if it doesn’t fit with your actual personality, it will only make you appear inauthentic – meaning the people in that group will be unlikely to embrace you anyway. When you behave in ways that are in alignment with your strengths, flaws and deep-down soul goals, the right people will be attracted to you to help you on your journey.

2. You will make more money.

People buy from people. They like to hang out with and spend money when their innermost emotional needs are being met. When you can connect with people on a deeper level as your true self, you can create better relationships with co-workers, bosses, customers and clients. Whether you’re in customer service, sales, healthcare or education, it doesn’t matter. Every job requires human connection for growth. When you truly connect as the true human being that YOU are, the opportunities for personal and financial growth will follow.

3. You will meet the right partner.

Only when you show your true colors will the right love interest come along. Sure you can attract a mate by faking who you are are, but the long-term implications are that you will feel resentful, guilty or regretful when your true self isn’t having your needs met. Be real and the right person will come along to make you happy, and you will feel connected to them on a deeper level – flaws and all!

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4. You will be trusted.

When you are really being you, it leads to a consistent experience for people who interact with you. When they feel secure in knowing you are who you say and act like you are, they are more likely to trust you with big and small tasks, decisions and responsibilities. When you are a trusted person, your career success will increase, your personal relationships will flourish and you will feel more confident in your ability to interact with others.

5. You will be more confident.

Being fake can hit your self-confidence in a big way. Why? Because when you are fake it means you are constantly worrying about impressing people by changing who you are in certain scenarios. When you have to change so quickly and so often, it clouds decision-making which leads to bad decisions. When you are constantly making bad decisions it makes you feel bad about yourself leading to low self-esteem and suffering self-confidence.

6. You will be more energized.

It feels good to live authentically. It attracts the right people, opportunities and even money. When you are living in your true flow, you feel happier which boosts endorphins. These endorphins are feel-good chemicals that naturally increase energy, mood and positivity. It is a circular cycle that when you feel good, you look good, you do good, you attract good. All that goodness creates major energy in your life.

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7. You will sleep better.

Embracing the true you leads to positive emotions. The better you feel, the less worry you have. The less worry you have, the less time you lay in bed fretting over your decisions, future and actions. This means you have more time to actually sleep, rest and heal and less time tossing and turning with worry over what people think of you or how you can impress others.

8. You will feel less stressed.

It’s so much easier to be yourself than to fake it all the time. When you fake who you are you are constantly having to cover up lies, stress over your appearance and fret over your words. When you are just simply YOU, there is no need to worry over what you said or did in the past, how certain people perceive you or how you need to act in different environments. You have peace in your heart because you can just be you.

9. You will be seen as real.

When you act like your true self, you will be creating a consistent experience for people whether they hang out with you in person, read your social posts online or hear stories about you. This consistency massively boosts your credibility, likability and trustworthiness both personally and professionally.

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10. You will be happier.

All the stuff above will lead to increased happiness and peace in your personal and professional lives. Your happiness is based on your own ability to step into your greatness with a peaceful heart. When you embrace your true nature, this peace comes easier and greater joy and happiness will follow.

So you see, living a life that showcases your best and most challenging traits is the best way to move ahead. No matter who or what you’ve tried to be in the past, it’s time to let those false impressions go and step into the amazing life that only YOU can create.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: How do you stay true to yourself when you set goals? What can you do TODAY to get back to being who you really are?

Featured photo credit: Hipster woman taking photos with retro film camera on vintage ornamental wallpaper. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

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Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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